High Tide Rising
by invalid-reality
Summary: Even her dreams were filled with death. She could never escape it. It was like being trapped at the bottom of a seaside cliff when the tide was rising and there was nowhere left to run.
1. Prologue

**Author's Notes: This will be my last Fuffy fic for a while, but I wanted to, technically, go out with one last fic and this is it. I hope you all enjoy the read, it did take me quite some time to finish it, but it's done and I'm sharing it with you all now :)**

* * *

The birds had stopped singing months ago, their silence heard more in the first moments of dawn and dusk, their happy songs long gone, but not forgotten. The days were growing longer and the silence growing louder. It wasn't just the birds that were gone. No longer were there echoes of the wild dogs barking in the distance or the noises of the animals foraging and living in the forests. No longer did the bees fly and buzz and pollinate, the flowers dying out that spring, never blooming, the landscape dull and barren.

Even the fish in the streams and the lakes and the oceans had died off. It seemed that in the span of eight months, the only species that survived were humans. And the ones that were not.

The ones that were not were that not even the worst of nightmares could conceive. They walked throughout the day and night, feasting, hunting, never sleeping, their blood-thirsty bodies always searching for their next meal, preying on what they could and without a mind, without a soul, it was the only thing driving them, keeping them alive—dead, but alive.

Faith Lehane lit a cigarette as she sat upon the rooftop of an empty warehouse, their home for the past three days. The sun was just setting and another long, sleepless night was upon them. Her lighter clicked, filling the silence and she snapped the lid shut, taking a long drag of her cigarette and watched as the smoke curled up into the darkening sky.

"Did you want to be alone?"

Faith turned to look behind her and she sighed, shrugging her shoulders as Dawn Summers came to sit down on the gravel rooftop beside her. She pulled out the metal case she kept her cigarettes in, offering the younger woman one. She knew she'd decline, she always did, but it'd become a habit to offer.

"They're going out again tonight," Dawn said quietly. "They won't let me come."

"Safer here for you, kiddo."

"I'm not a kid."

"I know."

Faith took another long drag of her cigarette, her eyes on the horizon and the setting sun. As she exhaled slowly, she turned to look at Dawn. She definitely wasn't a kid anymore. The sudden epidemic had changed all of them and Faith had noticed that change the most in Dawn, out of all of them that had banded together when the whole world started to fall apart to pieces.

She could barely remember that day, at least that's the lie she told herself. After she joined the others in Sunnydale to fight the First and after all was said and done with Sunnydale nothing but a big hole in the ground, she turned herself back in, determined to live out the rest of her sentence in prison. It had barely been three months after that when the first prisoner was infected. Every night the screams of terror, of fear, echoed in her head and every night she wondered just how the hell she'd managed to escape unharmed.

Maybe it was because she was a slayer. Maybe it was because she was supposed to survive. Maybe it was her own fear that drove her to run and not stop until the screams and cries of anguish were nothing but echoes in her mind.

It'd taken her two months to find Buffy Summers and the rest of the Scooby gang. She found them hiding out in a cabin just twenty miles outside of Castle Rock, Colorado. Angel was with her at the time, which was why it took her so long to find them and catch up to them.

Angel.

It burned deep in her heart whenever she thought of him—which she tried not to because it hurt too much. She shook her head as she took another drag of her cigarette and turned her head up to the sky. Angel had sacrificed so much, not just for her, but for all of them. Nobody knew he was infected, not for the first few days, nobody knew but her.

She had been the one to kill him. He'd been oozing blood from his mouth and eyes, the infection gripping him, yet it working far slower than with the others, his un-beating heart made the virus spread slower, increasing the agony he lived through in his final days.

She told him she loved him before she plunged the stake into his heart. She meant it when she told him she loved him and she knew that he knew. He saved her and in the end, she'd saved him. At least that's what she kept trying to tell herself six months later, the infection getting him far quicker than she thought it would.

She still doesn't remember him being bitten. He went on for days without showing any signs things were off, that he was changing. Days on an end, right around the time she found Buffy and the Scooby gang outside of Castle Rock, Colorado. If she only knew right from the start, if she only knew, she could've saved Buffy from the heartbreak she went through seeing her kill her first love. Seeing him suffer and being killed by a woman who was once her enemy. Her rival. Her equal.

Everything was different now. They had nobody else but each other and they all knew it.

"Do you ever think about what would've happened if the world was different?"

Faith turned her head to look over at Dawn and she managed a small, sad smile. "Every day, Dawn. Every fucking day."

"Is it ever going to get any better?"

Faith sighed as she turned her attention back to the sun lowering in the sky, half of it consumed by the trees on the horizon, the brilliant colours of reds, pinks, purples and oranges filling the sky and bouncing off the clouds that skimmed by. For a moment she could feel that lingering feeling of peace, but it faded. It faded so quickly, just like all the other hopes and dreams.

"I don't know anymore, Dawn," Faith finally replied and she flicked her cigarette butt over the edge of the roof, watching as it fell to the ground below, the embers exploding as it hit the ground before they fizzled out and died. "What's the world without hope, yeah? Don't lose it, kiddo. You're the only one who has any hope left."

"That's not true," Dawn said quietly and she nudged her shoulder into Faith's. "I can't be the only one. I know you have hope too."

"Be easier if I didn't."

"Why?"

"Cos that bite of yours looks pretty nasty, kiddo," Faith said as she pulled Dawn's shirt collar to the side, revealing the infected bite mark just below her collarbone. "When did it happen?"

Dawn recoiled, pulling her shirt out of Faith's grasp. She shook her head, but it didn't hide the fact her whole body was shaking now. "I—I don't know," she muttered. "I can't remember."

"Do they know?"

"No," Dawn shook her head and she shuddered. "No, they don't know. They can't know."

Faith laughed bitterly as she stood up and backed away from the edge of the roof, the gravel crunching under her well-worn boots. She reached inside her jean jacket pocket and ran her fingers over the handle of her curved dagger. It was almost time.

"Please, Faith…please…"

"Please?" Faith shook her head as she pulled the dagger out of her pocket, the blade glimmering in the light of the setting sun. "You want me to kill you, Dawn?"

"Please…"

"What makes you think I will?" Faith asked as she stepped a single step closer to Dawn and watched her as she peered behind her, the five hundred foot fall beneath her likely looking like a better way to die than at the hands of Faith Lehane. "I love you, Dawn. You're like a sister to me. What makes you think I can just kill you?"

"I'm infected," Dawn muttered as she stepped closer to the edge of the roof. "It's the right thing to do. You know it is, Faith. It's the only way. Please…"

Faith bit her lower lip as she gripped the dagger tight. There were no sounds other than the sound of her own ragged breathing and the desperation she could feel coming from Dawn resonated loudly. Could she kill her? She was infected. A threat. There was no way out of this. It was either kill her or watch her try to kill herself, but she knew Dawn wasn't that brave. She wasn't brave enough to jump her way to death. No, she was petrified and she came to her, her of all of them, pleading for help. For death.

To save them all.

"Please, Faith…before it's too late."

"Why me?" Faith asked as she took another step forward, her grip so tight on the handle of the dagger her knuckles turned white. "Why me, Dawn?"

"Because you're the only one that knows it's right."

Faith watched as Dawn's body twitched and convulsed in the dying rays of sunlight. She watches as the steady stream of blood flowed first from her mouth and then her eyes. She gripped the dagger tighter, fighting her tears as she reached out and grabbed Dawn by the front of her shirt before she could topple over the edge to her death.

And then she slid the blade deep in her upper torso, into her heart, her tears falling steadily as she gripped on to Dawn and held her tight. Her tears fell upon Dawn as she held her and she pulled the dagger out from her heart, the blood drips echoing loudly just before she dropped the dagger to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Dawnie," Faith whispered as she placed a hard kiss to Dawn's forehead, her fingers interweaving their way through her thick hair. "I'm so sorry. It shouldn't have been this way."

"It's okay," Dawn choked, her body giving in to death by the second. "You did…what was…right. Thank…you…"

She held Dawn as she passed, feeling her die, feeling the last of her soul leave her body, feeling her body grow limp and lifeless until she let her fall to the gravel roof in a heap. Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she reached for the dagger lying half a foot away and she closed her eyes, heartbreak and guilt filling her, before she drove the blade clear through Dawn's neck.

She let go of the grip she had on her hair, her fingers numb. She just stood there, watching her lifeless head roll slightly along the gravel roof before she rose to her feet and wiped the blade off on the thigh of her legs, her jeans soaking in yet another layer of blood. In this world, things were different, and she just saved the world from another creature who would have been the ultimate end to the world as she knew it. The question was, could she save this world from killing itself before she sought the ultimate fate for herself?

She didn't know. She'd never know. The sounds of the birds were long gone and so was the hope she'd once held deep in her heart.


	2. Chapter 1

_Dawn is dead. I killed her._

Faith stumbled back from Dawn's lifeless body, her head half a foot away, eyes still open and bloodshot. Lifeless. She turned to look up at the sky, her heart racing, and her tears continued to roll down her cheeks. Death was never easy to deal with and it made her feel numb. She stumbled back a few more steps, the sound of her boots crunching on the gravel roof echoing loudly all around her.

She shook her head as she yanked open the steel down and descended down the narrow set of stairs. They'd been in the abandoned storage warehouse for two weeks, give or take a day. It'd been the only place they'd been at for months where it felt safe. Food had been scarce for months, but they'd always managed to barely scrape by, living on a plant-based diet and rain water that they collected that was never enough to quench their thirst. Always hungry, always thirsty. Always tired, always sore, always dirty.

Faith pulled back the plastic that hung over the doorway and walked into the small, dimly lit room where the others sat on blankets spread out on the dusty wooden floor. Candles burned, most of them near the end, melted wax keeping them in place on the crates they sat upon. She sat down heavily on her makeshift bed and wiped at her tear-stained cheeks. She couldn't look at any of the others and the silence in the dimly lit room was deafening.

_Dawn is dead. I killed her._

Tears stung her eyes as she moved to lay down on her side, her back to the others, her face to the wall. She knew she had to tell them. They deserved to know. They had a right to know. Yet, the words escaped her as she felt like she was drowning in her own grief.

Just faintly she could hear the sounds of the infected three floors down. She closed her eyes tightly, swallowing the lump that grew in her throat. They were no longer alone, no longer as safe as they'd been the night before. It didn't matter how many times they killed the infected that found them, more just kept on coming, night after night, day after day.

They'd never be safe again.

Faith wiped at her tears, willing them to stop. Crying was for cowards and those who were weak and she was none of those things. She'd never be any of those things. She sat up as she heard the others start to gather what little weapons they had managed to grab at the last place they'd been that'd been overrun by the infected. Faith pulled out her longbow and the bag of bolts she had lying next to it. She slung the bag over her shoulder and checked over the longbow carefully, her eyes drifting across the room to where Buffy was wiping down her broadsword's blade and admiring the shine in the candlelight.

_Dawn is dead. I killed her._

Aside from Angel, Dawn was the first of them they'd lost and as far as anyone was concerned, making it eight months and still be alive was probably some kind of a record. Aside from Giles breaking his leg four months ago, they hadn't even really sustained any serious injuries along the way, at least nothing that Willow couldn't heal with a little bit of magic, or slayer healing couldn't deal with over the course of a couple of days. What Faith just couldn't understand was how Dawn had gotten bit. When had it happened? Did it happen that day Faith had found her roaming around the barren parking lot going through a handful of rusty cars looking for supplies?

Faith inhaled slowly and deeply, her eyes meeting Buffy's in the flickering candlelight. She knew she had to tell Buffy that her sister was dead. She had to tell her sooner rather than later. Surely she'd noticed the fact that Dawn had gone up to the roof and hadn't come down yet. Surely.

"Counted about a dozen," Kennedy said as she pushed back the plastic and nodded towards Buffy. "The barrier is holding. Barely. Not sure how much longer it'll take before they get past it."

"Okay," Buffy said as she lowered her broadsword, the tip reaching the ground. It was far too big for her size, but it'd been effective enough. More so than the scythe had been at first. "Willow, go find Dawn. I need you two to stay here and—"

"Buffy?" Faith stopped her and she felt the lump in her throat grow bigger. She walked the short distance towards her and she was unable to hide the tears that filled her eyes.

"Where is she?" Buffy asked tightly. "Where is Dawn?"

"I—I'm sorry, B."

"No," Buffy whimpered as she dropped her broadsword to the floor, the sound echoing through the small room. "No, please…"

Buffy stumbled backwards, her eyes blank and filled with tears, her hands shaking as she turned to face Xander who rushed towards her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Faith couldn't stop the tears from falling as she watched Buffy break down in Xander's arms, the pair of them falling to their knees together, clutching on to one another.

"Faith?" Giles said quietly as he placed a strong, firm hand on her shoulder. "Was she…"

"She was bitten," Faith replied, her eyes still on Buffy and Xander although it was hard to see through the blurry tears. "I—I had to. She came to me."

"You did what was right."

"Did I?"

Giles nodded as Faith turned to look at him and he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze before dropping his hand. "Yes," he said quietly as the sounds of Buffy's cries of anguish filled the small room and the sounds of the infected three floors below grew louder. "We must take care of the problem downstairs. The barrier won't hold on for much longer."

Faith nodded as a few more hot tears fell. She turned back to look at Buffy and watched as she pulled herself free from Xander's tight hold. He struggled to keep a hold of her, but she was too strong for him. She took a few staggered steps towards Faith and grabbed her by her shoulders, forcing Faith to stare into her grief filled eyes.

"When?"

"Not that long ago."

"D—did she have much time left?"

"No. The fever already kicked in, B."

Buffy gripped on to her tightly before they both slid their arms around one another and held on tight. Faith held on to her, feeling her body shudder and shake as she cried into Faith's neck. Buffy didn't let go for a few moments and neither did Faith. She just held her, knowing it was all she needed in the moment.

"Buffy? Faith?" Giles called out, his tone filled with alarm. "We must move now."

"Give them a minute, Giles," Xander said gently.

"We don't have a minute!" Kennedy yelled as the loud crash of the makeshift barrier falling to pieces echoed up the stairwell. "Guys, come on!"

"B?" Faith gently nudged Buffy back and cupped Buffy's tear stained face gently with her hands. "It's better this way. Nobody would've wanted to see her become one of _them_."

"I know," Buffy said quietly and she inhaled deeply. "I know."

"Guys?" Kennedy called out as the others already began to descend down the stairs. "I'm all for having a moment, but do ya think it can wait until after we deal with the problem downstairs? We have to go now!"

Faith's hands fell from Buffy's face as she bent down to pick up her longbow and pulled a bolt out of the bag. She swallowed hard and followed Buffy to the stairwell to join the others. Faith loaded the longbow and pulled back as she moved to the front of the group and led the way down to the second floor landing. From there, she had a clear shot of the barrier as it was being pushed down and when the first sight of one of the infected came into view, she fired, watching the bolt slice through the air and it cleanly pierced the infected in its head. The screams echoed through the stairwell and it fell into a heap and she wasted not a second more, loading in another bolt and taking aim.

Faith cleared as many as she could before they moved past the barrier, made with old filing cabinets filled with rocks and dirt to add some weight. She was running out of bolts and she paused to remove the six she'd fired from the second floor.

"Hey, Kennedy," Faith said quietly as she stood at Kennedy's left and they looked out over the large, mostly empty floor, the main room in the warehouse. "You sure you counted a dozen?"

"There were only a dozen when I was down here not even ten minutes ago."

"Gonna have to get your eyes checked or something, girl, cos that?" Faith said as she nodded her head towards the horde that was moving towards them. "That is more than a dozen. More like three dozen, if not more. Get in formation! Nobody moves from more than two feet away from the group!" Faith yelled as she raised the longbow and took aim at one of the infected that were moving towards them quicker than the others.

She blinked as she focused her aim and although it was dark, she focused on her strength, her slayer senses and she inhaled slowly, her fingers slipping over the end of the bolt, letting it slip easily as she exhaled slowly. The instant the arrow pierced the skull of the infected, they moved forward at full tilt. Ready to attack, to defend their temporary home even if just for that night.

They weren't going anywhere until the morning when it was safer to travel. They weren't going anywhere until they'd had proper rest. And they weren't going anywhere until they burned the bodies of the infected they were killing.

And they definitely weren't going anywhere until they'd buried the body Faith left up on the roof. Dawn.

_Dawn is dead. I killed her._

* * *

(_Eight and a Half Months Ago…_)

Faith tapped her foot on the metal footboard of her bunk, listening to the silence that filled D block. Night was the only time she found the silence, but it wasn't comforting and it was never for very long. Hundreds of women in hundreds of cells, murderers mostly, woke throughout the night screaming, their nightmares chasing them, haunting them, over and over again.

She'd been in there for three months and according to the shitty calendar she walked past in the cafeteria every morning, it was September now. If it wasn't for that shitty calendar donated by a local insurance company, she would've lost track of the days months ago. Not like it mattered. Twenty-five to life, no chance for parole because she'd escaped. That was her punishment along with the first month in the Hole. It took her that first month to come to peace with that, to stop feeling guilty because she'd done it for a good cause. Two good causes. Not like the Warden or the State would ever believe her that she'd saved the world twice since she broke out. None of that mattered.

Nothing mattered anymore.

Angel stopped visiting and she'd given up trying to call him a few times during the week. Not like she could try calling him now, her phone privileges had been revoked indefinitely when she tried calling him the last time and got so angry when he didn't pick up she ripped the phone clear out of the wall. Angel had been her rock before and now she was truly alone, rotting away in Stockton Women's Correctional Facility, her home cell number forty-four in cell block D.

"Jesus, don't they ever fucking shut up?"

Faith closed her eyes as her cellmate shifted in her bed below hers. Screams pierced through the silence of the night followed by the guards on the nightshift banging on the bars, an impassive way of getting them to quiet down. She felt the bottom of the thin mattress being poked up from below and she leaned over the edge to look down at her cellmate, a woman in her late sixties who had been in there since she was thirty-two, serving two life sentences for killing her husband and her lover. Her name was Brenda Arenski, but she liked to be called Aren. Faith had watched her kick some poor woman's teeth in when she called her Brenda by mistake. A mistake Faith knew she'd never make herself, slayer or not. That woman was far more dangerous than half the things she'd ever fought and killed and she wasn't gonna make an enemy out of her either.

"Lehane?" Aren hissed as she kicked at the bottom of Faith's mattress again.

"What's up, Aren?"

"How the fuck you sleeping through that noise, girl?"

"Ain't," Faith shrugged and she laid back on her bed and stared up at the cement ceiling as the screams grew louder. "Ya got a smoke I can bum?"

"What'cha gonna trade?"

"A favour," Faith replied and she laid there, unmoving, listening as she heard Aren shuffling about beneath her. She fought the tight smile that curled over her lips as Aren held a single hand rolled cigarette up by her shoulder. "Thanks."

"You get caught, don't you drag my ass to the Hole with you, girl."

"Pretty sure with all that noise, chances the guards'll bust me for smoking are slim to none."

Faith slipped off her bunk, cigarette between her lips and she pulled out her package of matches she'd stashed under her mattress. She lit the cigarette as she stood by the window, nothing but a hole in the wall with a couple of bars, but it was better than nothing, better than a window that could never be opened. Fresh air was fresh air no matter what.

She barely took a second drag before the screams became louder, more panicked and desperate. Faith turned her head and watched Aren groan as she got up from her bed and walked to the bars. She grunted as she strained to see down the corridor and let out a frustrated grunt.

"See anything?"

"Can't see shit."

Faith watched her snatch the magnetic mirror off the metal wardrobe and held it out between the bars, angling it to see where the screams were coming from. Faith took another drag, the screams sending chills down her spine, her gut telling her that this was different than any of the other nights. These weren't screams caused by nightmares or a fight, these were screams of death. And it chilled her to her core.

The alarms went off as the cell doors were unlocked and slid open, but the lights stayed off and there were no shouted instructions from the guards. Just screams. Only screams.

"What the fuckin' hell is going on here?" Aren asked as she stepped away from the open cell door.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

Faith shook her head and quickly took a few more drags before putting half the cigarette out on the cinderblock wall. "Don't just walk outta here, Aren."

"Gonna stop me, girl?"

Faith just glared at her, a stern, serious look in her eyes as she walked sideways past her and stopped short of the open cell door. She stepped back when a handful of prisoners ran past the cell, screaming, most of them covered in blood and whether it was their own or someone else's, Faith knew there was something definitely wrong about what was happening.

Faith couldn't move quick enough to stop Aren from storming out of the cell, following the others who had ran past moments before. Faith grit her teeth and waited. Waited for what, she wasn't sure, but the screams were getting louder and closer. Whatever she was going to do, she'd have to decide quickly.

"Jesus," Faith gasped as two inmates jumped into her cell. "What the hell is going on out there?"

"Wouldn't believe us if we told you," the shorter one gasped and she turned to the woman next to her.

"That bitch bit me! Can you believe she fucking bit me? What the hell is wrong with her?"

Faith moved to look at the woman's shoulder, hoping to find a set of fang marks to make this whole mess a hell of a lot easier to deal with. But there were no puncture marks, instead the bite looked to be completely human and was bleeding profusely. Faith grabbed her spare t-shirt off her bunk and ripped it up, quickly moving to tie a torquinet around the inmate's shoulder as best as she could.

"Keep the pressure on the wound," Faith instructed the shorter one, grabbing her hands and placing them over the scraps of t-shirt she had placed over the wound. "Now tell me, what the hell is going on out there? Whatever it is, trust me, I'll believe you."

The shorter one shook her head as she stared wide-eyed at Faith. Fear filled her and from what Faith could remember of her, she'd be one of the ones most of the others in D block avoided crossing paths with. A small woman with a lot of rage who usually carried a shank and wouldn't hesitate to use it. But the woman standing in front of her now was a stark contrast of the woman she normally was. Whatever was happening out there, Faith knew it was bad.

"Come on, tell me," she urged. "Tell me so I know what I'm fighting here."

"Fight? Why would you fight something like that?"

"Come on, Lisa," the wounded one muttered. "Don't you know what she is?"

"What?"

"She's a slayer," she said and she looked over at Faith with a faint smile, her eyes glassy but not from tears, from the life that was slipping away from her. "They're not vampires. Inmates. Two cells down from ours, one turned on the other, started eating her—and not in that oh so pleasurable way," she laughed bitterly. "The guards tried to stop her, but she turned on them too. Whatever is happening, whatever she is, it's not a vampire. It's something worse."

"Lisa, is it?" Faith said as she looked at the shorter one. "Look, I know ya got a shiv—"

"I ain't giving it to you."

"No," Faith shook her head and she could hear the screams again. Louder. Closer. "Use it to protect yourself and her," she said quickly. "And get the hell outta here, alright?"

"What about you?"

"I'll be right behind ya."

Faith smiled sweetly at the two of them, a smile that faded quickly as she urged them out of the cell and in the direction Aren had gone to follow the others. Faith cracked her knuckles as she watched them hurry down the corridor and around the corner.

And she waited. She had to see. She had to see what was doing this and how bad it was. She had to wait and see if she could fight whatever it was, to stop this from getting any worse. Her hands shook at her sides as two guards ran past her, a third staggering to catch up, badly injured and bleeding profusely.

"Get the hell outta here, inmate!" The guard screamed at her, blood splattering from his lips and he gasped as he fell forward onto the ground, hitting it hard, unmoving.

Faith swallowed hard as she grabbed his baton off his belt and held it tight. Overhead the lights, the backup lights, flickered continuously and she waited. Her hands were still shaking, but she wasn't scared. Everyone in the whole prison was terrified and she was the only one who was strong enough to fight. She couldn't be scared. She was a slayer and it was time to be one again.

Faith moved towards the source of the chaos, deep inside D block. The screams were fainter now as most of the inmates had fled for their lives. Every cell that Faith walked past, it became more grim, more apparent that whatever was attacking them, was killing them in one of the most gruesome ways she'd ever seen. Throats ripped out, stomachs sliced open, their insides pouring out. Lifeless eyes staring at her, mouths open in a silent scream.

A low growling came from behind her and she backed out of the cell she'd wandered in. She turned slowly, gripping the handle of the baton tight in her right hand. What she came face to face with looked like a cross between a vampire, with the razor sharp looking teeth that were dripping with blood and flesh, and still part human, aside from the eyes which were completely white.

"Fuck…" Faith hissed under her breath as she backed away from the _thing_ that was now focused completely on her.

And whatever it was, it was wearing the standard prison uniform, but it wasn't human. Not anymore. Two more came up from behind it, teeth razor sharp, their eyes nearly white, one still had some colour in them. Faith gulped loudly as she slowly backed away. The first one snarled and snapped at her, moving like a wild, diseased animal, its movements jerky and rigid.

Faith swiped at it with the baton with as much force as she could and the sickening crunch of the skull being crushed inwards almost made her lose what little she'd eaten hours earlier for dinner. It fell hard to the ground and Faith turned on her heels and started to run, the other two giving chase immediately. She ran down the corridor and turned the corner, her prison issued shoes skidding along the smooth concrete floor. She scrambled to keep upright as she reached the main gates to cell block D and found them wide open and deserted.

Faith grabbed the gate door and tried to pull it shut. Like the rest, it was electronically controlled and nearly impossible to close without the switch of a button. Nearly impossible. She could feel the sweat rolling down the side of her forehead as she pulled the gate shut, not completely, but enough to keep the two _things_ trapped inside D block while she got the hell out of dodge.

Sirens started to blare loudly through the building as she made her way to the intake corridor that connected every cell block and the main building. She passed dozens of inmates that were huddled on the floor, most of them wounded and bleeding and scared for their lives, probably the most scared any of them ever had been. She looked around for Aren, but there was no sight of her, and there weren't any guards either. She continued moving, not stopping even when a few of the inmates grabbed at her pant leg to try to get her to stop, to help them.

Faith turned another corner and followed a handful of uninjured inmates to the room where all their personal belongings were stored while they served their time. She watched from a few feet away as two of them tried to get the door open while a third tried to pick the lock with a bobby pin. Faith shook her head and pushed her way to the front of the group.

"Move," she said gruffly as she pushed the three inmates away from the door. They grabbed her arms and she easily shoved them off of her. "You wanna get in here or not?"

"It's locked."

"Is it?" Faith couldn't help but grin as she grabbed the handle and yanked on it hard, the doorknob and lock snapping. She kicked the door open with her foot and made a flourish as she stood to the side and let the inmates scramble inside. She grabbed one of the older ladies, someone she knew that knew Aren.

"I—I haven't seen her," she stammered, fear shining brightly in her crystal blue eyes.

"Are you sure?"

The woman nodded frantically as Faith let her go and she scrambled after the others inside the room. Faith groaned loudly and turned around, heading back in the direction she'd came from. The sirens still blared loudly through the prison, drowning out the cries and screams that echoed throughout the corridor. As the sirens faded out, Faith fought to get past the rush of inmates that came running in the opposite direction and when push came to shove, she had the upper hand.

Two guards came running for her, pinning her up against the wall as they struggled to take the baton out of her tight grip. She fought back without remorse. She needed a weapon, any kind of a weapon to defend herself and that was all she had. She elbowed the one to her left with her elbow, hearing the crunch of his nose being broken and she twisted out of the hold the other hand on her.

"Get back here, inmate!" The guard screamed at her as he took off running after her.

Faith turned another corner, her shoes skidding across the concrete and she came to a sudden stop as she stared down at the long smear of blood trailing down the middle of the corridor. Like a bloody body had been dragged off. Gripping on to the handle of the baton tighter, she followed the trail, moving slowly, her eyes trained on the trail of blood in the flickering lights and she was careful not to step in it. It came to a stop at a utility closet that was only partially closed and with the tip of the baton, she nudged the door open slowly.

"Oh fuck," she gagged as she stumbled back.

She was definitely going to lose her dinner now. Inside the utility closet was Aren's bloody body and she wasn't alone. Two inmates were hovering over her body and as the lights flickered again, one lifted its head from Aren's neck, a piece of flesh hanging from its mouth. It snarled as it stared at Faith with its white eyes and she took another step back as the guard that had been chasing her grabbed her from behind.

"Let me go!"

"Come on, get the hell outta here, inmate," he shouted as Faith struggled against him.

"Give me your gun," Faith said as she broke away from his hold, startling him. "Now! Give me your fucking gun or those things are gonna come after us next!"

"What the hell is wrong with them?"

"Give me your gun!" Faith yelled at him and he stammered as he struggled to pull his gun out of his holster and instead of giving it to her, he took aim at the two former inmates snacking on her cell mate in the utility closet. "Aim for the head."

"Why the head?"

"Just fucking do it or give me the gun and I'll do it myself!"

Faith moved out of the way, watching as the guard blinked past the sweat the rolled down his forehead and into his eyes. His hand was shaking for a moment before he inhaled sharply and pulled the trigger, three shots ringing out, the first one missing completely, the second getting the one that was already moving in the chest, the third in its head, square between the eyes. He pulled the trigger again, but no shots rang out, just the sound of the chamber being empty and Faith groaned loudly as she shoved him out of the way and swung the baton at the one that suddenly came charging at both of them.

She didn't stop bashing the baton into the head until it lay on the floor, lifeless. She grabbed the guard by the front of his shirt and shook him to snap him out of it. He whimpered as he dropped the gun to the floor and stumbled backwards and that's when Faith noticed it. The bite mark on the back of his neck.

"You're on your own now, man!" She said as she backed away from him quickly before turning around and running back down the corridor.

Screams started to echo down the corridor and she didn't stop moving. She just kept on running until she reached the room where the other inmates were scrambling to find their things—and things that didn't belong to them, fighting with others over who got to claim it as their own. Faith pushed past the group and wiped at her sweaty forehead with her sleeve. She scanned the boxes that lined the shelves, looking for her prisoner number. She felt a wave of panic hit her as the screams started to get louder again, but then she saw it, her box and she snatched it off the shelf and rooted through it. Everything she'd had on her when she turned herself back in was inside, including the dagger still sheathed inside her right boot that the guards never found when she'd stripped in that dingy little room three months ago.

Faith moved quickly, stripping out of her prison uniform and into her own clothes. A pair of faded black jeans, a tan coloured tank top and her blue jean jacket. She pocketed her silver cross necklace and pulled out her knife as two inmates rushed at her from behind.

"Give us the knife."

"Screw you," Faith hissed as she kicked one away from her and grabbed the other by the front of her t-shirt. "Get the hell out of my way."

"Or what?"

Faith clenched her jaw as she gripped onto the knife handle. She inhaled sharply and let it out quickly as she let go and quickly grabbed the baton off the floor. "Take this. Aim for the head."

"Yours or theirs?"

"What do you think, smartass?" Faith rolled her eyes and she shoved the woman away from her.

Faith knew she had to get out of there. It wasn't an option. It was stay and become another victim once they overpowered her, or run. Run to save her life. With a frown at the woman who had tried to take her dagger from her, she moved quickly, finding her way out of the room through the window at the front that lead to the administrative office. From there she knew there were two ways out. The loading bay and the front entrance. It was one or the other and both were of equal distance away.

To her right she could hear not screams of terror, but whoops of joy as dozens of inmates fled from the prison and out into the night. Faith went left, towards the loading bay and to where she had hoped she'd be able to leave, to run, without being held back by anyone wanting to tag along. Anyone that tagged along would just end up dead. Faith couldn't fight for all of them or anyone but herself. Yet, she should've known the loading bay wasn't empty and she knew she shouldn't have been surprised to see Lisa, the short inmate that had stumbled her way into Faith's cell earlier, trying to hot wire one of the transport trucks.

"Looks like you made it out alive," Faith said as she stood at the open doorway, watching as the woman tried and failed to get the truck to start with a key. "That won't work."

"What?"

"It's a transport vehicle. Government made and owned. Pretty sure they rigged it up so it can't be jumped by say a fleeing inmate who managed to find a way to the loading bay without being stopped."

Lisa groaned as she slipped out from under the dashboard. "What then? You suggest we run? Do you know how many miles we are from anywhere, huh?"

Faith shrugged nonchalantly as she backed up into the office, ignoring the dead guard slouched on the floor. She quickly scanned over the board behind him, once filled with keys and only a few left hanging and two on the floor below. Choosing at random, she plucked the set of keys off the board. She glanced down at the guard and nudged at his body with her boot. Dead. Definitely dead. She knelt down and eased his gun out of his holster, wondering briefly why the hell some of the guards had guns and some didn't. She searched through his pockets and found two clips full of ammo and she slid the gun into the back of her pants and pocketed the two clips of ammo in her jacket pocket.

Faith stepped out of the office and turned to face Lisa, but she wasn't where she'd been just moments ago. Faith didn't call out for her, instead she just took a few steps forward and knelt down on the ground to pick up the shank that lay by the transport truck's open door. She moved quietly to stand up straight, her ears picking up the faintest sound of growling and slurping. Taking each step with caution, she walked around to the back of the transport truck and a hand flung over her mouth as she forced herself to back away. She blinked a few times before peering around the back of the truck, watching as three inmates feasted on Lisa's thrashing body, her mouth open in a silent scream as her throat was ripped open.

She had to get out of there and she had to get out of there now. Whatever was happening, it was infecting any of the inmates that were bitten and they were turning fast, too fast to be vampires, to fast to be anything else other than what they were. Faith backed her way to the driver's side of the truck and reached in, slipping the key into the ignition as she kept her eyes on the shadows coming from underneath the truck. Nothing happened when she tried to turn the key and she pulled it out, her eyes quickly scanning over the loading bay for another vehicle.

She moved too quickly, not as quietly as she should've been moving and as the growling and snarling got closer to her, she knew she had no time to waste. Of the four transport trucks that were still sitting back there, she had a choice. She just hoped whichever one she chose was the right one because she definitely didn't have any time to waste. Choosing the furthest one and the one closest to the chain link fence that had been destroyed and run over, she yanked open the door and slammed it shut, locking the door as two inmates jumped and clawed at the door, blood streaking over the window as she struggled to find the right key to slide into the ignition.

"Aha!" Faith laughed as the engine roared to life. "Adios, motherfuckers!"

Tires skidded across the pavement as she pulled out of the loading bay and drove over the destroyed fence. She turned right and headed down the long road that led to the highway, not once looking back as she pressed the pedal to the metal, the truck flying down the pavement towards the guard station at the very end of the road. She closed her eyes as she crashed through the gates on the left, the ones on the right blocked by four police cars, all destroyed and deserted.

Her heart was racing as she skidded onto the highway, heading south to LA.

* * *

Faith groaned loudly as she collapsed on her makeshift bed. Her shoulder was dislocated, again, and the pain was almost too much to bear. But they'd cleared the first floor in record time and they hadn't lost anyone during the fight. The only one injured was her and that was a good thing. The less injuries they sustained as a whole, the better chance they had at surviving another night. She struggled to pull off her jacket, her dislocated shoulder making it nearly impossible to without screaming out in pain.

"Let me," Buffy said quietly as she knelt down behind her, helping her sit up fully before easing the jacket off of her. "How bad is it?"

"How bad ya think?" Faith said through gritted teeth. "Give me a hand, will ya, B?"

"Dislocated it again?"

"What can I say, this shoulder's a bitch sometimes," Faith chuckled dryly and watched as Buffy moved around to sit in front of her. "Just give me some leverage here, B. I'll pop it back in myself."

Buffy doesn't hesitate to place a firm hand on Faith's shoulder and with a hard shove towards Buffy and an audible pop, she sighs in relief as she shrugs her sore shoulder, moving it around, feeling the pain become less and less. Faith nodded a silent thank you as she laid back on her bed, her eyes lingering on Buffy for a moment before Buffy rose to her feet and walked over to her own bed, sighing sadly as she laid down and curled up for the night.

Faith knew she wouldn't be able to sleep and she knew the nightmares of the night things broke out in the prison would haunt her again. Just like they did every night. Only now she had yet another nightmare to join it and all the others. Dawn.

_Dawn is dead. I killed her._

_…before she could kill all of us._


	3. Chapter 2

Faith coughed as she pulled the red bandana over the lower half of her face, her eyes burning under the hot sun, her hands aching and sore, blisters popping up over top of blisters. Yet, she inhaled sharply and continued to dig, the sound of the shovel hitting the dirt echoing through her head. Dig, lift, toss, repeat.

Smoke billowed up into the sky from the other side of the field, the gentle breeze causing some of it to blow in her direction. The smell was enough to make her gag, but she continued on. She had to. The grave she was digging was the first for someone she knew, someone she cared about, and she knew it wouldn't be the last. It definitely wouldn't be the last.

Dig, lift, toss, repeat.

She stopped when she heard footsteps on the ground approaching her from behind and she stuck the shovel into the ground next to the grave she was digging and pulled the bandana tighter around her face. She wiped her sweaty, grimy hands on her pants as she turned around slowly to face Xander, watching as he just walked past her, a shovel in his hands and he started to dig.

"You don't gotta—"

"I do," he muttered. "Don't argue with me, Faith."

She sighed as she gripped on to the shovel's handle and watched him dig. He wore a red bandana over the lower half of his face as well and his forehead was slick with sweat, his hair growing too long, shaggy and falling into his eyes, but he didn't stop, didn't even pause for a single deep breath. Dig, lift, toss, repeat.

Faith picked up her shovel and moved to the opposite end of the shallow grave and continued to dig. Together they dug for the next twenty minutes until it was deep enough, long enough, wide enough. Only just. She tossed the shovel to the ground, breathing heavily as she wiped her hands on her jeans again. She moved to sit on the ground, just a foot away from the pile of dirt beside the open grave and she pulled off the bandana, using it to wipe at her face, the smoke no longer blowing that way as the wind picked up and changed direction. She barely even flinched as Xander sat down next to her and sighed heavily, his breathing hard and ragged as he leaned forward on to his knees and hung his head low.

"Let's just take a break," Xander said quietly, not lifting his head as his shoulder shook. "Not like she's going…anywhere…"

Faith swallowed hard, not wanting to sit here and hear a grown man cry, but she couldn't move. Her body was protesting against her. Lack of sleep, lack of proper nourishment, it was all catching up to her, just a little slower than the others. Faith turned to her right and looked down at the blood-stained blanket that covered Dawn's body. She swallowed hard again, her own tears springing to her eyes as she tried to fight the emotions running through her body at full tilt.

"Faith?"

"Hmm?"

"When she…" Xander trailed off as he lifted his head, his eyes red and filled with tears, his voice stuck in his throat as he pulled down the bandana from the lower half of his face. "When she died…"

"Was it painless?" Faith asked coldly. "Death is never painless."

Xander frowned as he scratched as his scraggly beard. He looked scared, angry, confused, and lost, but Faith knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel any better about her having to kill Dawn. Nothing she could say to herself could convince her to feel any better about it either.

"It was the right thing to do," Faith whispered as Xander stared long and hard at her. "She was infected."

"I know. You did what you had to do. To save her. To save us."

"Doesn't make it any better."

Faith sighed as she rose up to her feet and stared blankly down at the hole in the ground in front of her. Dawn's grave. A place where, once they left, they'd likely never return. Not even to mourn. She didn't look back at Xander as she tucked the bandana in the back pocket of her jeans and walked towards the warehouse. She wanted to be alone and she knew there was no other place for her to find that solitary than up on the roof.

It was always the rooftops where she found her peace. It didn't matter where they went, she always found her way up, one way or another. How many times had she spent hours on a rooftop, watching the sun rise and fall and rise again, lost in her own thoughts and memories that haunted her even when she was awake? How many times had she been alone for hours and nobody had sought her out, respecting her choice to be alone?

The metal door squeaked as she opened it and stepped out onto the gravel roof, the sun baking hot up there and the breeze nearly non-existent. And she wasn't alone, not like she'd hoped. At the far corner of the roof, near the blood that stained the gravel, Buffy stood with her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes lowered to the bloody spot. The same spot where Dawn had taken her last breath the night before. Faith glanced down at her clothes, clothes she still hadn't changed, clothes that still had Dawn's blood caked on thickly, dry but stiff. Her stomach lurched as she grasped at her shirt, the dried blood flaking, crumbling in her clenched fists.

Faith stopped where she was, unsure whether to leave Buffy be, or to join her, offer some form of comfort, whether it just be her presence or something more. They'd come a long way since Sunnydale and even more since the day she and Angel found them hiding out in a cabin nearly twenty miles outside of Castle Rock, Colorado, braving out a strong storm that blew down from the mountains. Yet, Faith wasn't delusional. She knew they still had a long way to go, but for now, they were what they were. Were they friends? Hardly. Were they family? Far from it.

They were just two slayers, watching out for each other and the others, making sure they all survived another day. They were just two slayers, the last of the Chosen, banding together because they had no other choice. Surviving alone in the world was not an option and Faith had barely made it out of California alive.

She pulled out her metal case and placed a cigarette between her lips. Her hand shook slightly as she mustered up enough strength to cup her hand around the flame long enough to light her cigarette. She clicked her lighter shut and placed it back in her pocket as she closed her eyes and turned her face up towards the cloudless sky.

* * *

(_Six Months Ago…_)

The skies were burning behind them, the smoke, the flames chasing them across the horizon as Faith pressed the pedal down hard, the tires of the Army issued Jeep squealing along the pavement as she swerved left and right, avoiding the abandoned cars along Route 66. The entire state of Arizona was behind them, fires burning, dust storms covering entire towns, following them as they raced to stay ahead of the chaos and destruction.

Faith could almost feel the rising sun in the darkness of the night ahead of them and she turned to look at Angel who sat in the seat next to her, his eyes trained on the map he had open in front of him. She didn't have much time to find shelter for the day, half an hour at most. It'd taken them two months to get out of California and across the state of Arizona, following one lead after another, hiding out during the day for Angel's sake, and fleeing for their lives from the infected that spread faster than wildfire.

"Angel, we gotta find a place to pull over," Faith said over the roar of wind that rushed into the open-top Jeep. "Angel?"

"We just passed over the state line into New Mexico. There's a town not far up ahead."

"How far from here?"

"A few miles," Angel replied, his eyes still trained on the map. "Six and a half miles."

"Six and a half miles? We don't have that much time—"

"Then drive faster!"

Faith gripped on to the steering wheel tightly and pushed the pedal down to the floor. After two miles, the highway was clear of abandoned cars, save for a few that were pulled over to the side of the road, abandoned, hoods propped open, the owners likely have abandoned them due to lack of gas or other problems. Faith squinted as she kept her eyes on the road. Exhaustion had caught up to her, but it wasn't enough to slow her down. She couldn't afford to let it get to her, the only priority she had was to get Angel somewhere safe, somewhere dark and out of the approaching sunlight.

It had been just by luck they got their hands on the Army issued Jeep a few miles outside of LA. It had been a disaster zone, fires and riots, people dying in the streets, the infected growing by the hour. It wasn't just a state of emergency, the whole country was suffering and there was no where to run and hide, nowhere where they'd be safe from the Hell that had erupted on earth overnight.

Nobody seemed to know exactly what was going on and when she'd finally found Angel, he was holed up in an office inside of Wolfram and Hart, armed to the teeth, hundreds of bodies dead in the corridors on every floor of the large building. He was the only one, essentially, alive in the entire building and despite how relieved and happy he was to see Faith, it was short-lived. They had to fight their way out and down to the sewers. Faith had a few close calls, too close, and if it hadn't been for Angel, she would've been one of _them_ two months ago.

Angel called them zombies, but not in the traditional sense. When the outbreak had started, researchers at Wolfram and Hart had captured one, ran a lot of different tests. Part of these things were still human, part of them were zombies, but a bigger part of them was an entirely new breed of vampire, one the world had never seen before—at least not in that dimension of the world.

From what Faith had learned since she found Angel, the outbreak started in LA shortly after they had destroyed the First Evil and it's army of Turok Han in Sunnydale. A virus of sorts, originating from a lab long have thought to have been destroyed nearly thirty years before. A virus that gripped the city, then the state, and soon the entire country. Beyond that, Faith wasn't sure how bad it was, but she'd seen it all first hand. It was bad. It was worse than a living Hell. A pure nightmare nobody could escape from.

And there was no cure. Only death.

"Next exit," Angel said as he shuffled the map, turning it over quickly as Faith looked up ahead for the next exit.

Blocked. Piles of cars, trucks, and vans blocking the entire exit off the freeway.

"Bit of a problem, Angel…"

He looked up quickly and groaned in frustration as he flipped the map again. "There," he said suddenly as they passed the on-ramp. Faith hit the brakes, the Jeep coming to a skidding stop, the sound echoing loudly as the Jeep lurched to a stop. "It's clear. Enough to drive through anyway."

Faith gripped on to the wheel tightly and made her way down the on-ramp. Aside from a few burnt out cars, it was mostly clear. She came to a stop at the road and to her right, not far from where they were, she spotted a gas station, the hotel across the street burnt out and nothing but a shell of what it once was. Deciding to risk her luck, she drove towards the gas station and parked the Jeep around the back.

"Five minutes until sunrise," Angel said as they hopped out of the Jeep and grabbed their weapons out of the back seat. "Let's clear the building quickly, Faith."

Faith led the way into the back door, long broken down. She raised the shot gun as she carefully and quietly made her way through the storeroom, her boots crunching against the broken glass along the floor with every step she took. She looked back at Angel and on his signal, she went the opposite way, finding another door and found it locked. She lowered the shotgun and twisted the handle, breaking the lock with a loud snap. She eased the door open, finding a small, cluttered office beyond the doorway. She inhaled deeply as she raised the shotgun up again and after quickly checking the room and finding it clear, she let out a whistle, calling out to Angel.

"Place is empty," he said as he entered the office and placed his own shotgun down on the desk. "We'll stay here until the sun sets and then we get as far as we can tonight."

"Are you sure they're gonna be there?"

Angel pulled the chair out from the desk and sat down while Faith made sure the windows were blocked from the sunlight. The heavy drapes would do until later in the afternoon when the sun would be behind the building. She'd worry about that later.

"Angel," she said quietly when he didn't answer her. "Are you sure they're gonna be there?"

"It's only been a week since they were spotted outside of Castle Rock," Angel replied. "They're there. It hasn't been hit near as hard as the places we've been."

"And if they're not?"

"We keep looking."

"Like finding a needle in a haystack," Faith muttered as she picked up an overturned chair and sat down heavily, her eyes burning, her body urging her to rest. "If they ain't there—"

"They're there," Angel snapped and he rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes tight. "Trust me, they're there."

Faith's stomach growled as she slouched in her chair, her shotgun draped over her lap as her hands rest on top of it. How long had it been since she'd eaten? A day? A little longer? How long had it been for Angel? She wasn't sure, but she was certain it'd been almost three days for him. How much longer could either of them get without food? It seemed like it should've been easier for Angel to feed, but it wasn't and the risk of him drinking from someone that was infected was far higher than Faith getting sick over a half a loaf of mouldy, stale bread.

The day dragged on and Faith found it impossible to sleep, her senses on high alert as Angel rested. By noon, she gave up on sleep and quietly explored the gas station, searching for food, for water, anything left behind, but the place had been ransacked ages ago and there was nothing left. Nothing but two carton's of Lucky's cigarettes she found wedged under the front counter near the cash register. After she stashed the cigarettes in the Jeep, she took a pack up to the roof with her and she sat there in the blazing hot sun, chain smoking for hours as she keep her eyes on the road, looking for any sign of life. Human or infected, her shotgun at the ready at all times.

By the time Angel found her on the roof just ten minutes after the sun finally set low in the sky, she'd smoked an entire pack of cigarettes and was rattled, her nerves on edge as her body fought the extreme exhaustion that was worse then than it'd been that morning.

"Did you sleep?" Angel asked quietly. "Faith?"

"Couldn't."

"Why?"

"Too hungry," she muttered as she rose to her feet. "Come on, let's get the show on the road, yeah?"

"Give me the keys," Angel said, stopping her from climbing down the ladder at the back of the building. Faith scoffed and he stopped her again. "You're not driving. You're tired, weak. Give me the keys, Faith."

She pulled the keys out of the front pocket of her jeans and tossed them at him. With a disgruntled huff, she climbed down the ladder and tossed the shotgun in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat. Angel took his time making his way down the ladder and to the Jeep. He sat there for a few minutes, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight before he turned to look at her. He said nothing before he slipped the key into the ignition, the engine roaring to life.

Dust kicked up behind them as he sped out from behind the building and back out onto the road. He backtracked the way they'd come off the freeway and continued on the way they'd been, heading north east up Route 66. Faith struggled to keep her eyes open, fighting sleep as she'd done all day, but as the miles passed, her eyes grew too heavy and she drifted off, her nightmares waiting for her just as they always were. Waiting to haunt her, taunt her, remind her that the whole world had gone to shit in such a small amount of time.

It was the screams she'd heard in the prison that night that woke her up with a start. She breathed heavily, trying to slow her racing heart as she came to, blinking as she stared out over the road, trying to figure out where they were and how long she'd been asleep. It felt like hours, but she knew she could be wrong. Nightmares always made it feel like she'd slept for far longer than she had, nightmares making an hour feel like a lifetime.

"You okay?" Angel asked as he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, making her look over at him. "Faith?"

"Yeah, man. Yeah, I'm fine."

"Another nightmare?"

"Nah," she chuckled dryly as she shrugged his hand off of her. "Where are we?"

"Check the map," he replied and she groaned, stretching out as best as she could in the front seat before she pulled the map out of the glovebox and opened it. "Just passed a sign. Raton should be three miles from where we are."

Faith scanned over the map, her eyes opening wide in shock. How long had she been asleep? It would've taken them hours to get to where they were. Six hours at least. She rubbed at her eyes and folded the map back up again and leaned back in the front seat. She rubbed at her rumbling stomach and reached into the backseat for the bottle of water she knew was still back there. Careful not to chug the entire thing all at once, she sipped greedily, gasping as she felt the warm water slide down her throat. She sat up in alarm as Angel swerved and struggled to keep the Jeep on the road and she reached over and grabbed the wheel and stared straight at him.

"Pull over."

"I'm fine—"

"No, you're not," she snapped and she pulled his shirt away from his neck, revealing a nasty bite mark on his shoulder. "When did you get bit? Angel?"

"I—"

"Pull over!" She screamed at him and they struggled for a moment before Angel slowed down and put the Jeep into park. "When the fuck did you get bit, Angel?"

He sighed heavily as Faith reached past him and opened the door. She shoved at him to get out before she jumped out of the passenger side and rushed around to grab him by the front of his shirt. She slammed him up against the side of the Jeep, her eyes boring deep into his as she waited for him to answer her.

"When did you get bit?" She asked again through clenched teeth. "Tell me, Angel. Please."

"Three days ago."

"Were you ever going to tell me?" Faith asked and he stared blankly at her. She slammed him against the side of the Jeep again. "Jesus christ, Angel, you weren't going to tell me, were you? You're infected and you weren't going to tell me? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"It's not—it's not taking over me as quickly as it does the others. I thought I'd have enough time to—to get you to the others, to make sure you got there safe before—"

"Before I have to kill you?" Faith asked and she scoffed as she let go of him and started to pace the road a few feet in front of him. "When did it happen?"

"I told you."

"You just told me three days ago. We're barely out of each other's sight for long. _When_ did it happen?"

"When I fed last," he whispered. "You weren't there. You couldn't stand it, me drinking from that poor woman who was almost nearly dead. I shouldn't have. She—she was infected. She woke up and she bit me before I realized what was happening. I couldn't stop her. I was so hungry, Faith, and after I put a knife in her heart, I kept drinking."

"Fuck!" Faith screamed out into the quietness of the empty desert all around them. She stormed up to Angel, her fists hitting his chest in frustration. "How? How can you still be _you_ if you were bitten three days ago, huh?"

Angel grappled with her, struggling to get a hold of her flying fists and when she gave in, she broke down in a fit of tears and rage. Angel let go of her wrists and wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her head to his uninjured shoulder as she cried hot, stinging tears.

"This virus, it's unpredictable," he said quietly, still holding on to her tightly. "I told you what the researchers at Wolfram and Hart found—"

"And you believe them?"

"Nobody else knows what this is," Angel said and he pushed her back just enough to look down into her eyes. "This virus started in a single vampire. It latched on, god knows how, and it made it into a complete monster. The first human it bit, it transferred the virus, manipulating it, changing that poor soul into the things that are killing off the world, one human at a time and it's not stopping there, it's taking all beings that exist in this world, alive and dead, with it."

"You lied."

"What?"

"You lied. You told me all you knew was about the one that Wolfram and Hart captured and did those tests on. You lied to me," Faith growled and she struggled against him again. "Let go of me!"

"Faith—"

"Why the hell did you lie to me, Angel? After I trusted you!"

"Faith, please, listen to me," he said sternly and he grabbed her roughly, forcing her back up against the Jeep, snapping her out of her rage. "I lied because I knew there was a chance it would happen to me too, sooner rather than later. I didn't want you to worry about me—"

"Fuck!" Faith screamed into his face and she broke down into a fit of rage induced laughter. "What else did you lie about?" She laughed maniacally as she pushed him away from her hard. The force of it caught him off guard and sent him stumbling backwards. "What else? Tell me, now."

"There's no cure," he said quietly. "Not for me. Not for any human infected. It's only a matter of days, Faith, if I even have that. I can feel something inside of me changing."

Faith scoffed and yanked open the driver's door and stumbled back when Angel slammed it shut. Faith breathed heavily as she ran her fingers through her hair and she shook her head, letting out another scream that rang through the empty desert air.

"I need you to promise me—"

"What? Promise you what? That I'll kill you before you turn into one of _them_?" Faith asked, laughing incredulously as she backed away from Angel and the Jeep. "No. No, I can't do that. I'm not going to kill you. Not after everything we—"

"There's no cure, don't you understand that, Faith? There is no damn cure! The only way to stop this is to kill the ones that are infected and that includes me!"

"And then what? Keep on running, hiding, trying to survive when there's no hope for the world, huh?"

"Are you just going to give up hope?" Angel asked and she closed her eyes, feeling her whole body shaking as she tried to calm herself down. "You can't give up, Faith."

Angel grabbed her wrists and pulled her towards him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly and he pressed a hard kiss to the side of her head. Faith reluctantly wrapped her own arms around him and held on tightly, never wanting to let go, not if that means she'd lose him completely. Angel stepped back after a few long minutes and gently wiped her tears from her cheeks.

"I'll fight it as long as I can, but my time is coming, Faith, and I'm asking you to promise me that you'll do it before it's too late," he asked quietly. He cupped her face gently before she could look away, forcing her to keep her eyes locked with his own. "Please, Faith. Promise me?"

"Why me?"

"Because you're the only one I can trust. Promise me, Faith. Please?"

Faith inhaled sharply and shook her head. "Okay, Angel. I promise…"

"Now," he said with a soft chuckle as he let go of her and reached for the door. "How about you drive the last few miles, we'll take a look around town, find you something to eat and a safe place to stay. The sun'll be up in an hour."

"Angel…"

Angel held the door open for her, shaking his head no. She sighed and climbed in and gripped onto the steering wheel with her left hand and placed the other on the gear shift as she waited for him to get into the Jeep with her.

"Angel, it's not gonna be tonight, is it?"

"No, not tonight, Faith."

"When—"

"I don't know," he sighed as he shut the door behind him. "I don't know when or how soon it'll be. But when I ask you, don't back down on your promise."

Faith shifted the Jeep into drive and hit the gas. She forced a smile as she gazed over at Angel. "Yeah, I won't back down. Not this time."

Faith felt numb as she pulled off the freeway and into the small, quiet and deserted down of Raton, New Mexico. She drove down the empty streets, every building, every house, empty. Some were standing, some were burnt to the ground, some were boarded up with giant x's marked on the doors in red spray paint. No survivors.

They searched for an hour, leaving the Jeep parked in front of a motel that was barely standing all but one room at the very end of the long building. Faith went north and Angel went south, both promising to be back at the Jeep ten minutes before the sun was set to rise. Forty minutes later and a backpack full of canned food she'd found in the storeroom of a hardware shop, she was back at the Jeep, waiting for Angel. When he finally appeared, coming around from behind a building down the street, Faith couldn't fight the relieved smile that curled over her lips and the tears that brimmed in her eyes.

They said not a word as they settled into the dark motel room that smelled of stale cigarettes and cat piss, but the windows were boarded up tight and the water in the bathroom still worked and there was a bed. It was going to be home for the day, home while Angel rested and Faith waited for the hours to pass by. At least they'd found a place she could shower, the first in a week, and it didn't matter if the water was cold or not, or if it had a hard, iron smell to it, it was clear and it washed her skin clean of the dirt, the sweat, the grime and the blood.

But it didn't wash away the tears that fell as she leaned up against the cool tiles and let the cold water run down her sore, tired body. In just a matter of days, the virus that gripped the rest of the nation, the rest of the world, would turn Angel into one of _them_. And then she'd have to kill him.

As much as she didn't want to, a promise was a promise.

And this was one she knew she had no choice but to keep, because she knew deep down, he'd do the same for her too, before it was too late…

* * *

"Was it hard?"

"What's that, B?" Faith asked as she took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it down onto the gravel roof. "What was hard?"

"Killing him," she whispered, keeping her back to Faith as Faith approached her with caution. "Was it just as hard killing him as it was…with Dawn?"

"I—I don't know what you want me to say," Faith said, her voice cracking as she wrapped her arms around herself, willing the tears not to fall again. "I loved Angel and I loved Dawn. It wasn't easy, if that's what you're asking me here."

"Would you do the same for me?" Buffy inhaled slowly, her shoulders rising and falling as she turned to face Faith. "If I was bitten, infected. Would you kill me too before it was too late?"

"B, come on," Faith laughed dryly and she dropped her arms to her sides, her fingers fidgeting with the edge of her tank top. "You know we all made that pact months ago that if anything happened to us, if one of us were bitten, we got to choose who—who killed us before it was too late."

"And Dawn chose you," Buffy muttered, her tone dry and distant. "Why? Why you, Faith? What makes you so goddamn special?"

"Beats me," Faith shrugged. "It doesn't matter now, does it?"

"No," Buffy said with a shake of her head. "No, she's gone now. It doesn't matter. She doesn't matter because she's dead! She's gone and dead and I never got to say goodbye. Why didn't she want me to say goodbye, Faith? Why?"

Buffy was angry and hurt, her heart was broken and it showed so clearly in her eyes. It made Faith's heart hurt even more and she didn't know what to do, didn't know how to comfort Buffy because she never had before, never given the chance since it had always been someone else there to offer Buffy that shoulder to cry on, to offer Buffy into their arms, to hold her when she needed that comfort the most. This time, it was only the two of them, nobody else around to sweep in and save the day, so to speak. It was only her and Buffy, alone on the rooftop in the blazing hot sun, both grieving over Dawn in their own way.

Faith cautiously approached Buffy, standing just inches away from her. She tentatively brushed her hand against Buffy's before she grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. Buffy looked down, wouldn't or couldn't look at her as Faith pulled her in, one arm wrapped around her while the other held her hand tight between their bodies.

And she didn't move away as Buffy's lips brushed up against her own, a soft kiss that came out of nowhere. She stood there unmoving, not sure what was going on, whether to kiss Buffy back or whether to push her away, blame it on the overwhelming grief and the need to feel anything other than pain and heartbreak and loss.

"Thank you," Buffy whispered against her lips, kissing her once more before pulling away.

"For what, B?"

Buffy just flashed her a tight smile before she turned and walked away, leaving Faith standing there alone on the roof under the blazing hot sun. Angel had talked about her never losing hope and in that moment, Faith knew that that kiss Buffy had given her, it had sparked that hope again inside of her.

Hope she'd lost. Hope she'd forgotten had felt like freedom, like there was still a future for all of them, no matter how long it took them to get there or at what cost…


	4. Chapter 3

(_Six Months Ago…_)

Dark clouds loomed up ahead, further up the mountain and it was the exact direction they were headed. Faith pulled her jacket tighter around her as the wind picked up, chilling her to the core. What a difference a day and a different state made. The further up the mountain they drove, the colder and windier it go. Such a stark contrast to the deserted sunny town in New Mexico where they'd been just half a day ago.

"Where is this place, Angel?" Faith asked, struggling to keep her lips from chattering as the temperature continued to drop the further up the mountain they drove. "Yo, Angel?"

"A few more miles."

"We're running low on gas," Faith shivered as she leaned over and noticed the gas gauge was already on empty. "We're not gonna make it, are we?"

"Then we'll walk the rest of the way if we have to, Faith."

She groaned as she sat back in the seat and ran her hands over her arms and then over her legs. Angel pulled over to the side of the road suddenly and he hopped out of the Jeep and walked around to the back. After digging through what little supplies they did have, he pulled out a thick grey fleece blanket and tossed it towards her from behind.

"Gee thanks," Faith muttered, rolling her eyes as she wrapped the blanket around her. "Would've been nice to know we had this sitting back there a few miles back."

"A little cold there, Faith?"

"A little?" Faith chuckled sarcastically as she pointed to her lips. "I'm surprised they aren't blue yet!"

It drew out a hearty laugh from Angel, something she hadn't heard in a long time. He climbed back in behind the wheel and hit the gas just as the first few snowflakes began to fall. As they drove around the bend in the road, the headlights flickered and the engine died, the Jeep slowly rolling to a stop.

"I knew we wouldn't make it."

"We still have gas. It's the battery that died."

"Even better," Faith muttered bitterly. "So, I guess we're walking now, huh?"

"You walked further than a few miles before in the middle of a zombie apocalypse in downtown LA, Faith. A few miles in the snow up a mountain should be a piece of cake."

"Yeah, in freaking Southern California, Angel, not in the middle of some freak snowstorm in the Rocky Mountains! Totally different, man, not like it matters to you. Do you even feel the cold? No, so shut up and let me complain for the next couple of miles."

Angel laughed again, that same hearty laugh she'd heard just minutes before the Jeep died. They both climbed out of the Jeep and gathered their supplies and their weapons and once they were positive they'd left nothing behind, they set out, walking along the road that was quickly becoming covered in snow.

Faith was miserable, cold, hungry and tired. She wasn't a complainer, but after spending years in California, she had gotten used to not feeling the bitter cold chill of winter, and she definitely didn't miss the snow that made her cheeks and nose and hair frozen in just a handful of minutes. To top it off, she wasn't dressed for this kind of weather and she couldn't seem to starve off the chill that ran through her body no matter how hard she tried. Not even a half-hearted attempt at imagining she was someplace warm, sunny, safe and free of zombie-vampire-human hybrids that were absolutely everywhere now.

Except apparently that high up in the mountains in the middle of a freak snowstorm in the middle of the night. She shifted her backpack straps, the pack feeling heavier every couple dozen of steps through the building snow on the road. The shotgun was strapped to her right shoulder and the long broadsword she'd found a few weeks back in a weapons shop that had been nearly emptied, was strapped to her left. She wanted a katana and had spent weeks searching for one. Angel even ribbed her about it, calling it just another fancy sword when any old blade would do the job killing the_ things_ that wandered through the cities and small towns. Instead she had to settle on a sword too big—yet not too heavy for a slayer—which made it awkward to carry when she wasn't swinging at zombie heads and limbs.

"All this time," Angel said, his voice nearly lost in the whipping, roaring wind and snow.

"What?"

"All this time and I've never heard you complain before."

"Your point?" Faith asked, narrowing her eyes as they slowed down their pace a little. "It's fucking _cold_, man! I'm freezing my tits off here. I'm allowed to complain!"

"I thought it was your lips, not your—"

"Everything is cold. _Everything_."

"Even those metaphorical balls of yours?" Angel teased and she slugged him playfully in the shoulder before they continued walking. "They _are_ metaphorical, right?"

"What, you wanna check for yourself, Soul Boy?"

"Now _that's_ one I haven't heard in a while."

The teasing felt bittersweet and Faith's laughter quickly died out. Angel didn't have much time left, days, if even that. Would this be the last time they joked around like this, teased each other, had a few laughs along the way. Would this be the last time Angel was more like himself than the rabid monster he was slowly turning into? Those were answers she wasn't ready for and yet she already knew what they were.

They continued walking up the winding mountain road, the snow building up quickly, the wind roaring and whipping around, making the walk a little more difficult and even colder—for Faith anyway. She tried to keep her focus on the road ahead, every twenty feet or so, she'd kick away the snow to make sure they were still on the road. She wasn't even sure how long they'd been walking for, it could've been just over an hour before Angel reached out to stop her and pointed to two posts at the side of the road, barely visible in the blowing snow.

Faith didn't say a word, choosing instead to trust that Angel was right and followed him off the road. Between the snow covered trees, a narrow path, a driveway perhaps, but it was hard to tell with nearly half a foot of freshly fallen snow on the ground. She grumbled and trekked on, her boots heavy and wet, her feet colder than the rest of her and almost completely numb. She shifted her backpack, groaning as it felt heavier than before. She whistled out for Angel to stop and she pulled off her backpack and let it fall into the snow with her sword and shotgun.

"What's wrong, Faith?"

"I need to stop for a minute," she said through chattering teeth and she unwrapped the blanket from around her and reached inside her jacket pocket for her cigarettes and lighter. "Just for a minute."

"We're almost there."

"Angel, I need a break," she said firmly before placing a cigarette between her lips and she struggled in the wind and the snow to light it. Shivering, she turned every which way until Angel stepped up to her and cupped his hands around the lighter, providing just enough of a block from the wind so she could get her cigarette lit. "Thanks."

Angel just nodded and helped her wrap the snow covered blanket around her again, but it didn't make a difference in keeping her any warmer. She groaned as she sat down on her backpack and took a long drag of her cigarette, taking a moment just to look around at the trees surrounding them and the path that led deeper into the woods.

"You sure this is the way?"

"There is only one property off this road. A few miles more and we would've reached a dead end," Angel replied and he shrugged off his backpack and sat down across from her. He shook the snow that was building up in his hair off and stared at her in the darkness, the snow making things a little less dark than they actually were. "The man I spoke to in town, he said this was the only cabin that belongs to the Martinez family."

"Who?"

"Kennedy's family. I did some digging before the outbreak started."

"Any reason why you did some digging on Kennedy?"

"Not just on Kennedy, on all the slayers that were with you when Willow did the spell on the scythe. Buffy asked me to before I left Sunnydale. Some of those girls, they weren't very forthcoming about where they came from, their families, and Buffy wanted to make sure that if something happened to them, she'd at least be able to inform their families about what had happened."

"Right," Faith nodded and she switched hands, burying her numb right hand under the blanket while she smoked with her left hand. "You gonna trust this guy? You sure he didn't send us out on a death mission out on the mountains in the middle of the night in the middle of a freak snowstorm?"

"Faith, relax. He's an old friend of a friend."

"Demon then?"

Angel laughed quietly. "You could say that, but he can be trusted. You still trust me, don't you?"

"Always will, Angel."

"Then trust me right now, Faith."

"Ya think I'd even be here right now if I didn't trust you?"

Angel didn't say a word, he just nodded his head. Faith furrowed her brow and wondered if now was the time to ask him why he stopped coming to visit her while she was in prison. Finding him at Wolfram and Hart in his own office seemed to give her the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him. A part of her wondered if it was better if she never knew why he stopped coming and why he never answered when she called him. That was behind them now, that whole part of their lives was behind them now and they were living in a whole new world where the rules had changed overnight.

Faith quickly finished off her cigarette and she pulled on her backpack, slid her shotgun strap over her right arm, and the strap on her sword over her left. The two just exchanged a simple look before they continued walking down the narrow path, the snow not lightening up although the wind had died down to a barely there breeze.

Angel stumbled forward suddenly and Faith blinked through the snow that was falling on her face and her eyes went wide in alarm when she saw the arrow sticking out of his left shoulder. He fell forward, gasping as he grabbed at the back of the arrow.

"Angel!" Faith said as she rushed to his side and she breathed a small sigh of relief when she saw it hadn't pierced his heart, but it was close. "Angel?"

"I'm fine…" He muttered as he sat down heavily in the snow. "It missed."

"Barely."

"Can you…pull it out?"

Faith nodded and waited for him to break off the tip of the bolt before she placed a hand on the back of his shoulder and grabbed the end. Slowly she pulled it out of him, wincing as he shuddered and fell forward as she pulled it free.

"Jesus," Faith groaned as she tossed the broken arrow away. "Angel?"

"I'm fine," he groaned and gave the tip of the arrow a sniff. "At least this time there's no poison."

Faith felt a lurch of guilt swim inside of her, but she had no time to feel guilty about the things she did in her past. Someone had shot Angel and just missed his heart, whether luck was on their side or whoever shot it was a shit shot to begin with. She rose to her feet quickly, turning in the direction the bolt had been shot from. Behind them, just off the path. But with the heavy, steady falling snow, she couldn't see very far and she groaned in frustration as she turned her attention back to Angel and helped him up to his feet.

Her senses were on high alert now and she was mentally kicking herself for not being more aware of their surroundings to begin with. When she heard the whizz of a second bolt flying through the air, she grabbed on to Angel's pack and yanked him out of the way, the arrow imbedding itself in a tree trunk a few feet away. She turned around quickly, blinking through the snow, trying to find out who the hell was shooting at them and that's when a third bolt came flying through the air, just barely missing her right arm.

"What the fuck?" Faith yelled. "Whoever is out there, why don't you show yourself, huh?"

"Faith—"

"Shut up, Angel," she snapped at him and she pulled her shotgun off her shoulder and pointed it in the direction the arrows had been shot from. "Come on, show yourself! Only fucking cowards hide and—"

"Faith?"

"Kennedy?"

Faith lowered the shotgun as she heard the snow crunching just a short distance away and soon she saw a hooded figure approaching them. Kennedy threw back the hood of her white parka and laughed as she stopped just a foot in front of Faith.

"Seriously?" Kennedy laughed as she raised a gloved hand that held a two-way radio. "False alarm. I repeat, false alarm. It's Faith and…" Kennedy said into the radio, trailing off slowly. She raised an eyebrow as she looked at Angel behind Faith.

"Angel," Faith said with a nod towards him.

"It's Faith and Angel," Kennedy said into the radio before she let go of the button, the static hissing in the air quietly before the squawk sounded.

"_Did you just say that it was Faith and Angel that tripped the alarm?_"

Xander's voice. Faith chuckled dryly, not realizing how much she'd missed hearing his voice. Kennedy just raised an eyebrow at her and stared down at the radio in her hand before pressing the button on the side, the static squelching momentarily.

"Yeah, Faith and Angel. No sign of anything or anyone else. We'll be back in ten minutes, over and out, Cyclops."

"Cyclops?" Faith chuckled as Kennedy put the radio in a pocket and slung her longbow over her shoulder.

"What the hell are you guys doing out here?" Kennedy asked and she kept a weary eye on Angel.

"Looking for you guys," Faith replied. "We had a vehicle, but it conked out on us a few miles back. We grabbed our gear and hoofed it from there."

"A few miles? In this storm? Are you crazy or something?"

"Yeah, probably," Faith chuckled and she turned to look back at Angel. "You okay, man?"

"Sorry about, you know, shooting at you. Actually shooting you," Kennedy offered and Angel shrugged it off like it was nothing but a scratch. "How did you find us? Wait, why don't you hold off on that little story until we get back. I don't know about you guys, but I'm freezing my tits off here."

"See, Soul Boy?" Faith chuckled heartily. "I ain't the only one freezing my tits off out here."

"Come on, it's a bit of a trek back to the cabin," Kennedy said as she moved in front of them to lead the way, but she paused and looked back at Angel. "You, you know, all right to walk another mile? I mean after—"

"After getting shot by an arrow in the shoulder?" Angel asked amusedly, scoffing as he patted his freshly injured shoulder lightly. "It's nothing. Just a scratch. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"Right," Kennedy laughed quietly. "Follow me and keep close. Stay quiet."

Faith clenched her jaw as she kept a close eye on Kennedy. They followed her down the narrow path, Faith stepping in the footsteps of Kennedy's, mostly to keep even more snow from finding its way inside her already frozen and wet boots. And too because she hadn't let the fact that they'd tripped some kind of alarm without knowing it go without saying. If there was some kind of alarm they'd set off without knowing it, she knew that there was the possibility that there could be any number of traps set up around the property to protect them from intruders of all kinds.

Faith grabbed on to Angel's arm as he stumbled in the snow beside her. He shook his head, motioning for her not to say a word as he winced silently and grasped at his shoulder. It wasn't the wound itself that was affecting him, it was the virus and being shot at hadn't helped him any. Faith shifted his arm around her shoulders, careful not to let her sword or shotgun slip away and she forced him to lean on her for support and it was only then that she could feel how weak he was, every step a tremendous effort that was draining him fast of whatever little energy and strength he'd been holding on to.

It wouldn't be much longer now. He didn't have days, he had hours as far as she was concerned.

And that scared her half to death. It scared her because they'd finally found Buffy and the others and now Angel wouldn't make it through the night. He'd be lucky if he did, but even Faith knew luck wasn't on his side anymore. It wasn't on any of their sides anymore. There was no luck in the world. No fate. No destiny. No hope. Just survival and only the strong seemed to make it through each day and night.

Kennedy led them up a steep hill and the climb was treacherous in the deep snow. Faith kept pulling Angel along, not giving up on him. Not yet. Kennedy came to a sudden stop at the top of the hill and turned to them with a smirk curled over her lips as she waited for them to catch up.

"Home sweet home. Come on, guys! Try and keep up, will ya?" Kennedy said with a wink and she took off in a steady jog down the hill without even looking back.

"Thought it was supposed to be a cabin?" Faith muttered as she panted heavily and helped Angel stay steady on his feet. He groaned as he leaned against her, not looking down the hill with her. "That ain't no fucking cabin, man."

"Huh?" Angel moaned as his head lolled to the side, his eyes closed tight as he weakly held on to Faith.

Faith just shook her head as she looked down the hill at the cabin, brightly lit, warm, inviting, and impossibly too big to fit the definition of a cabin in her mind. She shifted her hold on Angel, scanning over the hill below. It wasn't near as steep as the one they'd just climbed, but one wrong step and they'd go rolling down the hill. She fought back the smirk that dared try to slip over her lips as she thought of them becoming one of those cartoon snowballs as they rolled down the hill together and she started down slowly, trying to keep her focus on taking it one step at a time, slowly yet surely.

"Faith…"

"Come on," she urged. "We're almost there."

"Faith…I…" Angel gasped and she stopped, trying to gain some leverage as she stood below him on the steady incline. Her hands grasping him, holding him upright. "Do it. Do it now. Do it before it's too late."

"No."

"Faith—"

"No!" She yelled, her voice echoing all around them. "No," she said quietly. "It's not time. Not yet." She shifted her hold on him and grabbed his chin with her right hand. "Not yet. Not yet, Angel. Maybe—maybe they can help, maybe they can find a way to—"

"Listen to me, Faith. Just listen to me," Angel said firmly and he shuddered and gasped as Faith struggled to keep him standing. "There is no cure. Not for me. Not for anyone. Just please…"

"No," Faith said as she shook her head and slipped her arm around his waist and continued down the steady incline. "No," she said again, more so to herself than to him. "It's not time yet. It's not."

Her foot caught on something buried in the snow and she couldn't stop herself or Angel from tumbling down the hill together. Gone were those comical images of them becoming snowballs as they fell. Her body jerked and bobbed and rolled in the snow down the hill, her backpack digging into her every time she tumbled onto her back hard and she cried out, her hands reaching and grasping for Angel, but he was no longer within reach.

"Fuck," Faith groaned as she rolled to a stop and she spit out the mouthful of snow and blood as she rose up on her hands and knees. "That's one way to get down a hill like that, huh?"

She was suddenly pulled up to her feet and facing a not too happy looking Buffy who held her by the collar of her jacket. She let out a bitter laugh as her vision swarmed and the sight of Buffy doubled.

"Hello, Faith," Buffy said, feigning sweetness as she spoke her name. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again. Bet you thought the same, hmm?"

"Life's sure full of surprises, ain't it, B?"

"Here's one of them," she said as she rose her fist and Faith closed her eyes, knowing exactly what was coming next.

Faith managed to choke out a bittersweet laugh before her whole world faded to black. Of course life was full of surprises. She expected them, big and small and everything in between, even the disappointing ones. Buffy greeting her with a hard right hook just wasn't one of those surprises. She expected it.

Like she could've ever expected anything else when it came to Buffy Summers.

* * *

Dusk was falling as they filled in the last of the dirt into the grave. Faith tossed her shovel aside and wiped her hands on her pants as she sucked in a lungful of air. Xander finished the rest, the very last of it and he tossed his shovel on top of hers, the clanging of the metal jolting the rest out of the sorrowful daze they'd fallen into as they stood at the foot of the now filled in grave.

Faith moved to stand at the side, just a few feet from the others, taking what she knew was her place, there but not a part of them. Not completely. It didn't matter how many months they'd spent together, all the long, sleepless nights or all those hungry, lonely days they'd spent together, she was still very much on her own. On her own, but with them at the same time.

Dawn had tried to convince her otherwise many times. Faith didn't want to think about that. She didn't want to think of the words Dawn had used. _Friend. Family. Sister._ It just hurt to much to think about how Dawn had longed for her to accept her place within the group, to know she was not only wanted, but needed too. Dawn had been her closest friend. Maybe it was why it hurt the most, losing her, killing her before it was too late.

She lied when Buffy asked her if it was as hard killing Angel as it was killing Dawn. Angel, she knew it was coming. She knew for days. With Dawn, it was instant. She knew from the moment she came up on the roof the night before. She knew before she pulled back the collar of Dawn's shirt to reveal the nasty, infected bite mark just below her collarbone. She knew and it killed her inside that Dawn came to her and not to her own sister.

Faith closed her eyes as the wind picked up and she longed to hear the birds sing again, their sorrowful melodies that rang out just as dusk approached, their songs of another day ending, songs of both sadness and happiness and whatever else fell in between. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd heard the birds sing, but she knew it wasn't long after she fled from the prison, leaving the chaos that erupted inside behind her only to come face to face with so much worse in the outside world.

Not even her worst nightmares could've prepared her for what life had become or what was coming next.

Giles was speaking, she could see him as he stood in front of the others, his head bowed, his glasses in one hand, handkerchief in the other, but she couldn't hear him. Her own grief had crippled her and she felt helpless and completely powerless to it.

_It should've felt this way with Angel, not her. Why her?_

_Because she became like a sister to you. Family. A friend._

_She was everything you ever wanted. Family. But not everything you ever needed. She gave you hope._

_She gave you hope that you lost after Angel. Even before._

_Hope that's forever fading. Dying out. Just like the rest of the world…but you can't lose it. You can't. Not now, Faith, not now. Not after everything. She needs you now, more than ever. More than you want to believe. A new tide is coming in and you need to hold on to that hope, embrace it. Step up and fight for your right to live. For the world. For the hope and faith of what is left of humanity…_

Angel's voice, ringing through her head, reminding her of memories he wasn't even there for. Even in death, he was there. Even months later, she could still hear his voice, feel his strength when she had none, feed off his hope when her's was lost completely..

Faith's hands shook as she shoved them into the front pockets of her dirty, torn, bloodstained jeans. Her eyes stung with tears she refused to let fall in front of the others. Her body ached from the lack of sleep, the fight against the infected the night before, digging, digging, and digging some more before filling it all back again. A hole in the ground. A grave. Dawn's grave. Her final resting place. A place that would be forgotten once they moved on again.

They always moved on. Nowhere was safe. Not that great big cabin in the mountains in Colorado. Not that sleep, seemingly unaffected nowhere town in Iowa, not Kansas City or any of the other places they'd gone to since. Faith couldn't even recall exactly where they were now. Everything had become such a blur and she'd be lying to herself if she said it hadn't happened since that night the outbreak happened in prison.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?" Faith blinked herself out of her daze as she looked over at Giles.

"A word?" He asked patiently. "Perhaps a solemn goodbye. A memoriam of sorts. For Dawn?"

Faith rubbed at her forehead and ran her fingers through her hair as she let out a stuttered gasp. "I uh, I'm not sure what to say. I…"

She couldn't look at any of them, her eyes trailing over to the fresh earth that filled the grave. Dawn's grave. The emotions, all of them, she could feel them. Like static electricity in the air one could feel during and intense lightning storm. It made her feel numb and at loss for words.

Her eyes closed the instant Buffy reached out for her hand, their fingers intertwining without hesitation. Buffy's palm, her touch, it was warm and comforting, but it didn't make the pain nor the numbness fade away. When she opened her eyes, she found herself staring into Buffy's, eyes that bore so deep into her soul she wanted to pull away, to run, to hide from, yet she couldn't. All she could think about was not of Dawn, not of all the months they'd fought to survive, not of Angel, or her life before, but of that kiss just hours before on the rooftop under the blazing hot sun.

That kiss had changed everything and she was only beginning to see that. A kiss born of grief, of loss, of emptiness, numbness. A kiss to feel again, just for a moment, and yet it'd changed everything.

"Faith?" Buffy whispered, a whisper so faint Faith was sure she hadn't heard her. Not really. "Faith? Do you want to say something?" Buffy asked, her voice louder, clearer as she let go of Faith's hand. Reality crashing down all at once, startling her and alarming Buffy as a comforting hand reached out for her. "Are you okay, Faith? Do you…need a moment?"

"I'm fine," she said as she stumbled backwards, away from Buffy, away from Dawn's grave, and the others. "I'm fine, I just—I don't know what to say."

"Just say whatever it is that you want," Giles said and Faith looked over at him, teary eyed, his voice so distance she wasn't even sure he'd said anything at all. It wasn't until he placed his glasses back on and cleared his throat, that everything became clear again and he continued, "Even, perhaps, just a simple goodbye will be sufficient. I know, even in such dark times as this, she would want you to say something, if anything at all, rather than let her rest in silence from those she loved."

Faith clenched her jaw and stepped forward slowly, her eyes to the ground, trying hard not to see the fresh earth that filled in her grave, but that of a lush green field filled with sunshine and birds singing as they nested in the trees nearby.

"I can't think of anything else to say other than thank you," Faith said, her voice quiet as she tried to still her shaking hands by clenching them into tight fists at her sides. "Never knew what family meant or felt like. Not until you, kiddo. Didn't matter what was in the past, all that mattered to you was the now. Wish it was that easy, you know? Forget the past, forget the future, just think of the now and the people surrounding you." Faith paused and inhaled sharply, the tears threatening to fall and she still fought them, now more than ever. She'd cry when she was alone. Never in front of them. Never.

_Crying is weakness, girl. Never show your weakness to those who'll take advantage of it, ya hear me? You'll end up a no good whore, peddlin' on the streets, trying to keep a goddamn roof over your—_

Her mother's voice. One she hadn't heard in a long time. Back to haunt her. Always haunting her when she least expected it. She still couldn't shut her out despite her being dead long before her first Watcher found her. She still couldn't forget that waste of a woman who brought her into the world and didn't give a single shit about her her whole life.

None of that mattered now. Not today.

"Thank you, Dawn, for showing me what a real family can be like," she said, barely a whisper. Not the whole truth, but as much as she could muster. "Wherever you are now," she sighed and inhaled deeply as she plucked the semi-crushed daisy she'd picked from the field earlier that day out of her pocket and tossed it on top of Dawn's grave. "Wherever you are now, it better sure as shit be somewhere better than here. I love you, Dawn. Never told ya, but I do and always will."

Faith chewed on her bottom lip, closing her eyes when she felt the warmth of the arms that embraced her from behind. Buffy's arms, Buffy's embrace, Buffy's lips on her neck, a soft kiss. Buffy's tears she felt upon her numb flesh that made her feel everything. It was all her. It was Buffy.

She made her feel again.

She made her feel in a world that was no longer theirs to save.

And all they could do now was survive another day.


	5. Chapter 4

She _hated_ walking. Miles upon miles, city after city, town after town, county after county. Same old story. It didn't matter where they went, where they ended up, humanity was losing the fight. Hope was lost with every mile that passed.

She'd lost track of the days, but she guessed it'd been at least a week. Every day blurring into the next, every thought, every emotion, it all felt miles away even though it was deep inside of her all along.

There was no set destination in mind, just survival, and Faith had no idea what small, nowhere town they were camped out in now. Almost every building and almost every house, burnt to the ground and those left standing was rarely inhabitable as the last. Food and water had been scarce for months, but that's not what her mind kept reeling back to in the end.

It was Buffy. Always _Buffy_. From that first kiss to the moment at Dawn's grave before they fled, a horde of infected suddenly infuriating the warehouse and giving them no other choice. It was that kiss she held on to. The kiss born of grief that sparked a shred of hope. But, it was more than that. Always more.

Flight or fight.

Her hands were shaking, not from fear, but from hunger, dehydration, and yet she still pulled out that metal box she kept her cigarettes in—cigarettes she never ran out of since ever town, every city, there was always a carton or two left behind. Sometimes more, if she was lucky.

Then again, it was never about luck.

Luck was finding enough food for more than a few days. Luck was finding water that wouldn't make them sick. Luck was finding shelter where they could sleep for more than an hour at a time, to feel safe, to be able to relax. To sleep without fear of being attacked. To have that single moment to fantasize of the world that once was.

There was no such thing as hope or luck anymore.

In whatever nowhere town they were, a heatwave had struck and the humidity clung to the air heavily. Breathing felt like drowning. There had been no patrols, no scavenger missions, just the six of them holed up in a partially burnt down church in the Middle of Nowhere, USA with whatever scraping supplies they'd managed to ration. Nobody had spoken a word in over a day, but that was normal. It'd become normal since the day they buried Dawn, hundreds of miles behind them.

The sound of the first crack of thunder gave Faith hope, the first shred of hope in what felt like a lifetime. Thunder meant rain, rain meant water, water meant they'd buy themselves a handful more days if they were lucky. She was the first to crawl out of her makeshift bed and make her way to the roof of the partially burnt out church. The view wasn't spectacular, but the lightning strikes were. They reminded her that underneath it all, the universe was powerful and beautiful and dangerous all on its own.

Powerful enough that if they could somehow survive, maybe there was hope after all.

Thunder rumbled, shaking the building, parts of it crashing down, no longer structurally sound, the sound of wood and bricks and plaster breaking apart and crumbling sounding louder than ever. Faith moved from basin to basin, making sure the tarps would hold the water they'd need to survive, water from the rain that would come from the storm.

"Faith?"

She turned around at the sound of Buffy's voice and she managed a small smile before she checked the last makeshift basin they'd set up on the roof. Once she was satisfied each basin was secure and would withstand the violent, oncoming storm, she turned to look at Buffy again, her smile faltering as Buffy hugged herself and leaned up against the wall by the stairwell door.

"There something you wanted, B?" Faith asked as she pulled out her red banana out of her back pocket and wiped at the sweat that gathered along her forehead. Buffy didn't say a word and Faith shrugged as she walked over to the small little shelter she'd built for herself, mostly to protect herself from the hot sun on the days she wanted a small escape from the others. With that first crack of thunder, she'd planned to sit up on the rooftop of the old church and watch the storm alone. "Stay if ya wanna," she said after she settled down on the blankets she'd brought up to provide some comfort on the flat gravel roof.

Buffy didn't move from where she stood and instead she turned her focus to the dark clouds rolling in overhead. Faith settled in her little makeshift shelter and lit a cigarette, her eyes wandering over to Buffy, her head filling with impure thoughts, of fantasies she only allowed herself on the loneliest of nights. It was the kiss that sparked them after years of suppressing them. It was the kiss that made her feel again. It was the kiss that haunted her and in those loneliest of moments, she could feel the ghost of Buffy's lips against her own, reminding her of the hope it'd sparked inside of her.

Big, fat raindrops began to fall from the sky and Faith smiled faintly as she closed her eyes and listened to the welcome sound of the rain falling from the dark, angry looking clouds in the sky overhead. She barely cracked open her eyes as she felt Buffy crawl into her little makeshift shelter and sit down next to her.

"I almost want to strip naked and run out into the rain," Buffy whispered and it made Faith open her eyes and laugh. "I'm serious."

"Go for it, B."

"And risk getting struck by lightning? No thank you."

"That all that's stopping ya? Lightning?" Faith chuckled and she held out her cigarette towards her, knowing she'd take it. It was something that had changed with Buffy after Dawn died. She'd started to find Faith when she was off somewhere alone and would either share a cigarette or bum one off of her. "If it'll make ya feel any better, I'll strip down with ya and we can dance in the rain like a couple of idiots, yeah?"

It made Buffy laugh, the first real, genuine laugh Faith had heard out of her in a good long while. Buffy took a quick drag off her cigarette before handing in back to her. Faith stared at her for a moment, before several strikes of lightning crackled through the air, pulling her undivided attention back to the storm raging overhead.

The heat and humidity still clung heavily in the air despite the rain and Faith was beginning to take Buffy's idea of stripping naked to run out into the rain seriously. It'd be a way to cool down and wash the dirt, the grime, the sweat and the blood from her body, to feel almost clean again. She took one last drag of her cigarette before flicking it out into the rain, watching as it hit the gravel on the roof, the embers glowing brightly before the downpour made it sizzle out and die, the last of the smoke washed away by the force of the rain as it fell hard and fast from the sky.

"Screw it," Faith said as she reached for the laces on her boots and pulled the knots free. "I'm gonna take my chances. I mean, what is it, one in a million I could be struck by lightning, right?"

"Faith, you can't be serious."

"Weren't you or were you just bluffing, B?" Faith chuckled as she kicked off her boots and pulled off her socks before she pulled off her t-shirt and shimmied out of her shorts. "You coming or what?"

Faith winked at her as she crawled out of her makeshift shelter and stood up, the rain soaking her skin, cooling her. She contemplated ridding herself of her bra and her panties, and she would've if she were up there alone and feeling as crazy and spontaneous as she was in that moment. She tilted her face up towards the sky and closed her eyes as she ran her fingers through her hair.

She blinked through the downpour and looked over at Buffy still huddled in her little makeshift shelter, her fingers idly pulling at the laces of her shoes as her eyes locked with Faith's in an intense gaze. Faith beckoned her with a single finger, laughing as Buffy kicked off her shoes and quickly tried to strip out of her clothes while keeping eye contact with her. She blushed once her clothes were off and she sat inside the makeshift shelter in only a pair of panties, her arms crossed over her chest, covering her naked breasts. Faith walked towards her and held out a hand.

"Come on, B," she whispered, her voice barely heard over the roar of the pouring rain. "It feels fucking fantastic!"

"Faith…"

Faith rolled her eyes as she reached around to her back and snapped open the clasp on her bra and shrugged it off, haphazardly tossing it on top of the rest of her clothes. "We're even. Now come on, no need to go being all shy and shit."

She held her hand back out towards Buffy and after a few antagonizing seconds, she reached out and took Faith's hand and allowed herself to be pulled up and out into the rain. She threw her head back as she spread her arms, her hand still holding on to Buffy's as she enjoyed the feel of the cool rain drops on her mostly naked body. She and to repress the urge to let out a scream—mostly because it wasn't a smart thing to do when the town, as quiet as it had been for a few days, was still occupied by hundreds of rabid, blood-thirsty zombies.

The rain started to come down heavier and for the first time in almost a week, Faith finally felt the satisfying feeling of feeling somewhat clean again. She let go of Buffy's hand and walked over to the closest basin that was quickly filling up with rainwater and without thinking twice about it, she stripped out of her panties, tossing them behind her and she climbed into the basin. There were six of them. More than enough to give them enough water for a week, what did it matter if she used one to have a nice cold, refreshing and much needed bath?

She looked over at Buffy who was looking at her like she'd lost her mind. Maybe she had. Maybe she was just taking this moment and living in it. She grinned as she beckoned Buffy to come join her and after a few moments, Buffy let out a huff and walked across the gravel roof slowly, pausing just a few feet from the basin to strip free of her panties before she climbed in to join her.

"It's freezing!"

"No," Faith chuckled as she splashed a handful of water at Buffy. "It's refreshing, B!"

"You do realize we're sitting naked inside a tarp filled with rain water, right?"

"Are we?" Faith grinned as she ran her hands over her thighs that were mostly submerged under the water. She shifted carefully until she was laying down, the basin just big enough she could stretch out and feel the cold water absolutely everywhere all at once. "God, this feels so good."

"Kind of brings a whole new meaning to the term skinny dipping," Buffy murmured as she moved to lay down next to her, their arms and legs touching as the basin was long but narrow. "Maybe we should find a place near some water, like a lake or a river or something?"

"Water'll likely be contaminated or something."

"Ugh," Buffy groaned quietly. "Let's just forget about that for one second and think about how good it'd be. We could just, I don't know, run out, strip, and jump into the water. Just kind of float there in the water and forget the rest of the world for a little while."

"We?" Faith asked as she turned her head to look at Buffy. "You fantasize about stripping naked and going skinny dipping with me, B?"

"Faith…"

"Any other fantasies you have about me that ya wanna share?"

"Stop," Buffy laughed as she reached over to pinch Faith's stomach, her hand stopping short as her palm laid flat across Faith's skin.

Faith's breath hitched in her chest as her eyes met Buffy's in a heated gaze. She placed a hand over Buffy's, keeping her from moving her hand away, loving the feel of her soft touch, and wanting so much more. How long had it been for her? Robin Wood had been the last, the advances of the women in prison turned down every single time and not at all like the first few months after she'd first turned herself in. It'd been years since she'd been with another woman, years since she'd felt that distinctly soft touch only a woman could give her. Her libido was beginning to betray her, but in that moment, in the thundering rain as they lay in a tarp basin quickly filling up with cool rainwater, the only thing she could think about was kissing Buffy again. Covering Buffy's body with her own, hands reaching and touching, pleasing and helping find that release she longed for, the same release she knew Buffy longed for too.

Buffy showed no signs of wanting to pull back, her eyes still locked with her own in the same heated gaze they'd fallen into moments ago. She inhaled deeply, blinking through the raindrops the fell hard against her face as she trailed her fingertips up Buffy's arm slowly.

As a loud crack of thunder rumbled, shaking the old church, it brought reality crashing back down on them in an instant. Buffy was the first to pull away and sit up, water dripping from her hair as she kept her back to Faith for a moment before she stood up and carefully climbed out of the basin. Faith curled her fingers into fists, swearing under her breath before she sat up and followed Buffy back into her little makeshift shelter and out of the cold, hard rain.

She watched as Buffy struggled to pull her clothes on, her wet skin making the material stick to her, causing her to pull and tug and swear as she struggled to dress herself again. Faith sat next to her, knees to her chest, arms holding her legs tight against her naked body and she turned her attention away from Buffy, watching the small pools of water grow bigger on the gravel rooftop.

Faith didn't move until Buffy had left, the sound of the metal rooftop door clanging loudly as it shut behind her finally being the one thing that pulled her out of the trance she'd fallen into. She grabbed at the pile of her clothes, laughing cruelly at how quickly things had turned between them.

And at how stupid she'd been to believe that maybe, just maybe, there could be something more there between them. Something more than that one single kiss that had changed everything between them.

A kiss she wouldn't be quick to forget. Not in this lifetime.

* * *

(_Six Months Ago…_)

Faith groaned as she rubbed at her tender and sore jaw. She'd been knocked out, by Buffy of course, and she was just regaining a sense of consciousness and completely unaware of her immediate surroundings. Normally, if a situation like this were to happen, she'd panic, but she wasn't panicking. She wasn't even on the verge of panicking, not when she was lying on the softest bed she'd laid in for as long as she could remember. Even the smells, the smells were important, it smelt clean, the sheets freshly washed and just faintly she could smell the intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee.

"How are you feeling?"

Angel sat near the bed she laid in, his face covered by the shadows of darkness that filled the room. Faith chuckled dryly as she rubbed over her jaw and sat up on the bed slowly, her eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness of the room and falling upon Angel's face just two feet away from her.

"She's always packed quick a punch, but man, she really clocked me this time, didn't she?"

"If it helps, she said she was sorry for overreacting."

Faith laughed as she rubbed over her jaw again. "Right," she laughed incredulously as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. "How long was I out this time? Couple of hours?"

"Twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes, give or take."

"Fuck," Faith groaned and she stood up slowly, letting her body catch up to her state of awareness as she stretched out slowly. "So, what's this place like, Angel? Pretty sure you haven't spent the last twenty-three hours and seventeen minutes sitting here waiting for me to wake up."

"It is safe," Angel replied quietly. "For now."

There was a heavy weight to his words and all she could think about was how she'd lost a whole day, a day Angel likely didn't have left in him and she hated it. She was losing him and she had no idea how long he had left until he turned into one of _them_. Her dreams were haunted by nightmares of what would happen if she didn't keep her promise, if she didn't kill him before he lost himself to the virus that somehow lived inside his already dead body.

He even looked paler than what was considered normal for him. His eyes had lost that last little bit of spark, those last little signs of life that came from the soul inside of him. He was fighting, holding on, and she knew he was suffering. It killed her a little bit inside because she knew she could and would be the only one that could stop him from his inevitable fate.

How much longer would it be before she plunged a stake through his heart, or used her dagger to cut his head from his body? How much longer did she have with him while he was still who he was, her friend—her only friend?

"I haven't spoken to her yet," Angel whispered as Faith reached for the dagger sheathed inside her boot. She paused, staring at him in the darkness, her breath hitching as she felt the tears stinging in her eyes. "I don't need long," he said as he rose from the chair he was sitting it. "Just long enough to say what needs to be said…"

"Angel…"

"Gonna save the best goodbye for last, Faith."

"Right."

"Stay here?"

"Like hell I'm gonna."

Angel chuckled. "I'll show you to the kitchen. I'm sure you're hungry."

"Starved."

Faith followed Angel out of the small bedroom they were in and into a dark hallway. To the left was a window that was covered with sheets of plywood and to the right, just at the other end of the hallway, there was a small flickering light. Candlelight. Angel led the way down the hallway and every door they passed by was shut. The smell of coffee grew stronger as they entered the large kitchen, lit by dozens of candles all around the room.

Willow was the only one in the kitchen and she was sipping a cup of coffee and reading a book in the candlelight. She looked up at Faith and offered a friendly smile as she placed the book down on the table.

"Hey, Faith."

"Hey," she said with a tight smile. "Bet ya thought you'd never see me again, huh?"

Willow chuckled quietly and Faith turned to look at Angel only to find he'd already slipped away, leaving her there alone with Willow. Faith watched her as she rose from her chair and grabbed a mug out of a cupboard.

"Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure, that'd be great."

"We don't have any milk or anything," Willow said as she poured some coffee into the mug and handed it to Faith. "But we have sugar."

"Black is fine," Faith replied. "Been a long time since I've had coffee."

"I can't promise you that it's decent. Unfortunately, it's only instant. We ran out of the real good stuff last week."

Faith smirked as she lifted the mug to her lips and took a sip. It wasn't bad, it had that instant taste to it, but she'd had worse. "So, you guys been here this whole time or what?"

Willow nodded and she walked back over to the table and sat down. Faith lingered by the counter and sipped her coffee before deciding to sit with Willow at the table. On that long ride from LA to Sunnydale, somewhere along the way they became somewhat almost friends and the long talk they had, it was something that Faith would never forget.

"We were only going to stay for a month, kind of like a vacation right? Thought we all deserved some serious downtime after Sunnydale. Kennedy and I were actually planning to go down to travel all over South America, but as you can see, that never actually happened," Willow frowned. "We were all in town, picking up supplies, when the news came of the outbreak, the virus that was spreading like wildfire. That first month, there was nothing different around here. It was quiet and people were still living their lives like normal, like what was happening in the rest of the country wasn't happening there. That changed a few weeks ago. We've been talking about staying, but eventually we're going to run out of supplies. I don't think we'll make it through the winter here."

Faith stared down at her mug, her hands wrapped around it. It was hard to believe just how little time had passed since the outbreak at the prison and how much different the world was now.

"Angel caught us up on where you two have been, the things you've seen," Willow continued. "I can't believe that you guys actually found us."

"Strength in numbers right?" Faith shrugged. "Had nowhere else to go."

"I know. It's good that you're here, Faith. You're right. There is strength in numbers and with three slayers here now, we have a higher chance of survival. And with Angel—"

"He's infected," Faith whispered as she looked up at Willow. "He was bitten a few days ago. I—I don't know how much time he has left, but it's not much. Bet he didn't tell you that, did he?"

"No, he didn't."

"Don't worry though, Willow, I'll take care of it when it comes down to it."

"T—take care of it? You mean kill him before he becomes one of _them_?"

Faith nodded and let out a dry laugh. "Yeah, that's the plan. Ain't gotta like it either, I don't, but I'll do anything it takes to survive."

"Won't we all."

"That why Buffy clocked me last night, huh?" Faith smirked and Willow laughed quietly. "Never gets old with her, does it? A simple hello followed by a killer right hook to the jaw."

"She overreacted."

"Angel said," Faith replied. "It's all good. I'm five by five now, as you can see, aside from this wicked bruise," she said as she pointed to the dark, angry purple bruise on her cheek and jaw.

They grew quiet, both lost in their own thoughts as they sipped their instant coffee that smelled a lot better than it tasted. Faith ignored the rumble in her stomach and the hunger pangs that never seemed to go away anymore. Faith finished up her coffee and nodded at Willow before she got up and left the kitchen. Across the hallway was a living room, it too was lit by dozens of candles around the room, but the room was empty and quiet. She explored the main floor of the cabin, finding most of the doors locked. She looked for Angel, but couldn't find him anywhere and it was likely he was in a room somewhere with Buffy with the door locked to allow them some privacy while they talked.

Faith found a jacket hanging by one of the doors that lead outside and after she found her way back to the room she'd woken up in, she grabbed her cigarettes and found her dagger that was normally sheathed inside her book sitting on the bedside table. She grabbed it, slid it inside her boot and headed outside for a much needed cigarette. It was cold, but not nearly as cold as it had been the night before and the sky was clear, hundreds of thousands of stars twinkling brightly overhead.

"So, you're awake," Kennedy said, her boots crunching in the snow as she walked up to the stoop Faith was standing on. "Wasn't sure if she put you in another coma or something."

Faith sighed as she pulled the jacket around her and shivered. "Is it always this cold up here?"

"We're on a mountain and it's the end of October. Yeah, it's always this cold up here this time of year," Kennedy replied and she placed her longbow down on the stoop and leaned it up against the wall. "Bet you're wondering where everyone is, huh?"

"Not particularly."

Kennedy laughed quietly and shoved her hands into her parka pockets. "Maybe tomorrow I'll take you out, show you around the place. We'll check the traps and the alarms, make sure they're still working."

"Sounds good."

For the rest of the night and the next couple of days, Faith kept mostly to herself and the only other person other than Angel she spent any time with, was Kennedy. During the day, she helped her check the traps that were set up, mostly bear traps that got set off by small animals. At night she hung out in the kitchen with Willow, sometimes Giles was there, sometimes Xander too. She rarely saw Dawn and Buffy, the two of them mostly keeping to themselves. She quickly learned it had been that way for months and nobody could tell her why Buffy and Dawn had become so reclusive.

Not one of them knew that Angel was infected, not one of them, and Angel had made her promise not to say a word to anyone. She didn't understand why at first, but she knew after a few days of being there, why he didn't want the others to know. She'd been there first hand to see that none of them that patrolled the property hesitated to kill at first sight of an infected coming anywhere near them. Hell, if Kennedy hadn't missed, Angel would've already been dead and she might've been too.

Faith was sure it was a Saturday when she woke up that day with a heavy feeling in her heart. Somehow she knew, deep down, that Angel's time was up. She'd heard him all throughout the night, groaning and gasping in the room next to hers, but not once did she go to him, the tears rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably until she finally managed to fall asleep. It was the hum of the generator whirring outside the woke her early that morning and after she got dressed and pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail, she found the others gathered in the kitchen, Dawn and Willow at the stove making pancakes for breakfast with the last of the mix they had.

It was the first time since she and Angel got there that everyone was in the same room together and she had expected to hear lively chatter, maybe even laughter despite it all, but it was quiet and the only sound was the sound of the pancakes cooking on the frying pan.

"Morning," Kennedy nodded as Faith grabbed the still hot kettle and made herself a cup of instant coffee.

"Anything out there last night?"

"Nothing," Kennedy replied. "We were uh, just talking about you maybe taking a shift patrolling tonight."

"Sure, just point me in the direction you need me."

They all heard the loud crash and Faith was the first one running down the hallway to Angel's room. She kicked open the door and found him in the middle of the room, lying on the floor, his body convulsing as he gripped at the rug underneath him. Blood trickled from the corners of his mouth and as he lifted his head to look up at her, a mix of pain and fear reflected in his bloodshot eyes.

Faith rushed to his side and fell to her knees as she reached out for him. He was burning, the fever gripping him tightly, burning him from the inside out. Faith sat back on her haunches as her hand trembled as she gripped on to his shoulder tightly. He reached out and grabbed on to her arm that touched him and he groaned weakly as his head lolled to the side, his eyes rolling back, the blood pouring from the corners of his mouth and dripping down onto the old, musty smelling rug beneath them.

"Angel?" The sounds of footsteps approaching the room got closer and she gave his shoulder a squeeze as he struggled to look up at her. "Angel…hey," she said as she cocked her head to the side and caught his gaze with her own.

"It's…time," he shuddered and she nodded as she swallowed the hard lump in her throat. "I can feel it."

"Shit," she groaned as she forced the tears not to fall. She looked back as the footsteps stopped and only Buffy entered the room. She looked down at the two of them in alarm and it was Giles who grabbed her before she could lunge towards them, or more specifically Angel.

"What's wrong with him?" Buffy asked, shaking as she struggled against Giles' tight hold. "Faith? What is wrong with him?"

"He's infected," Giles answered and he let her go.

"What?" Buffy shouted. "He's _infected_? Faith?" She glared over at her, but Faith just sighed and turned her attention back to Angel. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Angel choked, tears rolling down his cheeks as Faith pulled out her red bandana and dabbed them away. She inhaled slowly and reached for the dagger inside her boot and she just stared at it in her hand, a dry laugh escaping past her lips.

"Think we're gonna need a bigger blade?" She asked him, swallowing hard and he looked down at the dagger with a slight smile curling over his bloody lips. "Or would you rather, uh…you know, the other way?"

"You're going to kill him?" Buffy asked incredulously. "No, no you can't do this, Faith, you can't just—"

"Buffy, shut up," Faith snapped as she pointed the dagger at her, a warning. She looked back at Angel and used the bandana to wipe away some of the blood trailing down the corner of his parted lips. "You don't even have the slightest clue what I promised him, what he made me promise him, so just shut the hell up and let me do this."

Angel groaned loudly as his body started to shake hard again, the convulsions coming in waves as the fever spread through his body. He didn't have much time and Faith wasn't sure how long she'd have left with him, how much longer it'd be before she had to kill him before he turned into one of _them_, or worse.

"Faith…" Angel whispered and he groaned again before he spit out a mouthful of blood on to the floor. He shivered as he weakly reached up to wipe away at his lips and Faith stopped him. "I…"

Faith waited, barely breathing as she watched Angel struggle to hold on. He moved to try to sit up straighter and she didn't hesitate to help him. He groaned weakly as he blinked his eyes before looking up at her. "Angel, what is it?"

"I'm ready."

Faith nodded, the tears stinging in her eyes, but she still refused to let them fall. She looked down at the dagger in her hand and swallowed hard, the lump in her throat not going away. "You still have a choice," she said gently and he nodded, coughing again, his mouth filling up with blood. "What's it gonna be?"

Angel shook his head, wide eyes glaring at the dagger in her hand. She nodded, understanding without a word having to be said and she sheathed it back inside her boot and turned to look at the others behind her. Buffy was a wreck, tears streaking down her cheeks while Giles tried to console her quietly.

"Someone get me a stake?" Faith asked shakily, her eyes landing on Willow who just quickly nodded and ran out of the room. "Hey, Angel? Look at me," she said as she focused her attention back on him. "I—I just want to say thanks. For everything."

"Don't lose hope," he whispered. "Don't ever lose hope, Faith. Just remember that I love you and believe in you even when you refuse to believe in yourself."

"I won't…"

"Promised you I'd save the best goodbye for last."

"Angel…" Faith lips trembled as he grabbed on to her hands and weakly held them with his own. "I love you too," she whispered and she leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his forehead. She let go of his hands and gripped at the back of his neck, kissing him one more in the same spot before she leaned back.

Faith looked over her shoulder as Willow tentatively approached her. She shakily held out a stake, blunt end towards her and Faith clenched her jaw as she gripped it, feeling the slight weight of the smooth wooden stake in her hand. It was happening too quickly, it was all happening too quickly and she was going to lose him, the only one who was ever there for her when she needed someone the most. Her heart was racing as she flexed her fingers around the stake and she slowly lifted her head to look up at him.

"I'm sorry, Angel…"

"Faith, don't do this, please," Buffy cried out, but she tuned her out. "Please, don't kill him…not like this…please…not like this, I'm begging you…"

Faith felt the tears burning in her eyes as she grabbed the front of Angel's shirt, her hand shaking as she positioned the stake, raising her arm and tightening her grip. Angel nodded slowly and mouthed "I love you" as Faith did. Her heart hurt as she closed her eyes and thrust the stake into his chest and she trembled as she felt his shirt crumble to dust in her clenched fist.

It was over.

It was done.

Angel was gone.

Dead.

Dust.

She wiped at her tears with the sleeve of her shirt as she rose to her feet. She stared blankly ahead of her and the sight of Buffy breaking down completely broke her heart all over again. She walked slowly out of the room, dropping the stake to the floor once she walked out into the hallway. She couldn't hear over the sound of her racing heart, she couldn't see past the blur of tears in her eyes.

She shrugged away Kennedy as she reached out for her, shaking her head as she walked down the hallway, each step harder and harder to take.

She collapsed about twenty feet down the hallway and she buried her face into her hands. It was too much, it just hurt too much. He was gone, for good, and she never felt more alone in the world than she did in that one single moment.

Don't lose hope? How could she hold on to it when the only one who ever gave her hope was gone?


	6. Chapter 5

It'd been two days since that afternoon on the old church rooftop. Two days of silence and avoidance. Faith didn't read too much into it, it was Buffy after all and it didn't matter how much time they spent together, it was still impossible to figure her out. Even when they went out on patrols together in the early evening hours—at night, in the dark, it was too dangerous now, even for slayers—they didn't speak and they didn't look at one another for more than a split second at a time.

It was so trivial and almost childish the way that Buffy was acting after their little naked stint in the rain. Faith didn't even feel guilty for wanting her, her libido quickly spiralling out of control and allowing her to have some very lustful thoughts about Buffy. It was a lust thing, a sex thing, and the fact that it'd been so long, that Buffy's touch had sparked something inside of her she didn't know she longed for until it happened. They were both grown women, living and surviving in a post-apocalyptic world. One way or another, it was bound to happen and it had, just a little, with that kiss and then with that touch while they were both without a stitch on, laying in a tarp filled with water in the freezing cold rain.

Faith hadn't been thinking too much about it, it just crossed her mind from time to time, wishing that Buffy would just snap out of it and they could go back to the way it was before that stormy afternoon happened. She was too busy thinking about other things to worry about the little blip in their rocky relationship. She'd been thinking a lot about Angel. About Dawn. About Aren, too, and all the other people that had fallen along the way, nameless strangers who she knew had at least one other person in the world that felt their devastating loss.

Eventually her dreams were filled with death. She could never escape it. It was like being trapped at the bottom of a seaside cliff when the tide was rising and there was nowhere left to run.

In the past two days, she'd spent more time alone than she had in all the months since she and Angel had found them hiding out in the cabin in the mountains. She liked the quiet and she liked being alone, even just for even an hour or two at a time. Her little makeshift shelter on the roof was her own personal little sanctuary, she'd even slept up there the night before. She didn't even mind it when Giles lectured her about it either, reminding her how important it was that everyone knew where everyone was at all times. Safety in numbers and knowledge of one another's whereabouts; it's what Giles believed had allowed them all to survive for as long as they had.

Faith looked over as she heard the metal door creak open slowly and she was a little surprised to see Buffy step out onto the roof and into the sunlight. She paused for a moment before she shut the door behind her and walked over towards Faith slowly, her shoes crunching along the gravel. Faith offered a friendly smile as she moved over on the blankets and Buffy crawled inside and sat down next to her.

"Here," Buffy said as she held out a brown paper bag. "Take it."

"What's this?"

"A peace offering."

"For what?"

Buffy sighed as she placed the bag down between them when Faith didn't take it from her. Faith pulled back the top of the bag and peered inside. She let out a short laugh as she saw the bottle of white wine inside, the bottle a little dusty but intact and unopened. She had to hand it to Buffy for remembering a fleeting conversation they'd had weeks ago that started out as a silly little game of listing off the things they missed the most and the things they didn't. Booze had been Faith's first answer and while she appreciated Buffy's little peace offering, she wanted an answer. A peace offering for what, exactly?

Buffy was silent as Faith pulled the bottle out and she unsheathed her dagger from her boot, stabbed the cork and very carefully pulled it out. She gave it a sniff before placing the bottle to her lips and took a sip. It was warm and it almost burned as she swallowed it. She pulled the cork off the end of her dagger and twisted it between her fingers.

"What's the peace offering for, B? Pretty sure you didn't do anything that requires you to make amends with a bottle of wine, which, by the way, thank you."

"Things kind of got a little…out of hand the other day," she said quietly, her eyes firmly locked on her hands that were folded in her lap. "I didn't mean for it to go like that…and then with the awkwardness since and the whole avoiding you and not talking to you thing, which you totally don't deserve because it was my fault. Totally and completely my fault."

"For wanting to strip naked and run out into the rain?" Faith asked with an eyebrow raised. She saw the slight blush creep over Buffy's cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh. "It's cool, B. Really. No need to be all awkward and shit about it now."

Buffy mumbled under her breath as Faith took another swig of the wine and she nudged Buffy's shoulder, emphasizing for her to repeat what she'd just mumbled. "I said, I can't believe you saw me naked."

"Wasn't the first time."

"Faith! That is so not the point—"

"You weren't the only one that stripped down butt naked, B, but I ain't going around feeling all weird about it. It's not a big deal. Trust me."

Faith offered her the bottle and Buffy took it. She didn't even hesitate as she took a few swigs, coughing as the liquid burned down her throat when she swallowed it. She shook her head and handed the bottle back to Faith, waving a hand as she coughed again.

"So, we cool now?" Faith asked quietly, her fingers picking at the label on the bottle. "B?"

"Yeah, I guess," she shrugged indifferently.

"Good, glad we got that all squared away."

"Yep. Definitely."

Buffy reached over and grabbed the bottle out of Faith's hand and she laughed as she watched her take a few healthy sips, this time the liquid not burning near as much as the first time. She clenched her jaw as she handed the bottle back to Faith and let out a long, exasperated sigh.

Faith wanted to ask her what was wrong, but she already knew she wouldn't get a word out of Buffy. There was no point in pushing her. She'd learned a long time ago, long before the world had changed, that Buffy was a lot like she was, closed off and unwilling to share her thoughts or what she was feeling. Faith respected that and nothing would change how either of them were, especially when they were around each other. Some friendships were easier with some people than with others, and her friendship with Buffy would always be difficult.

Not to mention all the confusing signals that seemed to dance back and forth between them. Some things would just never change.

Faith took another sip of the warm wine and let her thoughts wander. Because she'd been thinking about Angel a lot lately, she was remembering some of the better times they had together out on the road, along with some of the worst where she feared neither of them would make it through the night. And then she thought about that last day, that sunny Saturday morning she woke up with that feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. She could still hear the generator whirring outside and smell the smell of pancakes being cooked in the kitchen. And she could hear that loud crash as Angel fell to the floor, thrashing and convulsing as the fever consumed him completely, the last stage before he'd become one of _them_.

She wondered how much longer it would've taken. It'd been just over a week at that point since he'd been bitten. How much longer until he had turned into one of those blood-thirsty zombies that were _everywhere_ now? Would it have been minutes? Hours? A couple more days?

_You did the right thing. Nobody knows what would've happened if you'd waited any longer._

Giles' voice, his words that night when he was the only one stupid and brave enough to come to her while she was being swallowed with grief. It had also been the last time a drop of alcohol had touched her lips. After ransacking some of the bedrooms, she found it, a single bottle of tequila she brought back to her room and pounded shot after shot until she felt nothing but numbness inside. It didn't help, the tears just kept on coming and with the alcohol flowing through her veins, it made a dangerous combination with the intense grief she was feeling. Tears turned into anger, anger turned into her nearly destroying every piece of furniture in the room she'd been staying in.

And the only one that had been able to stop her from hurting herself had been Buffy. She woke up the next morning, her brain foggy on the details of the night before, the room a complete disaster and the mattress next to her occupied by a wide-awake Buffy watching her sleep.

They didn't say a word about what happened the day before and after Buffy patched up Faith's bloody knuckles with fresh bandages, she left her to sleep off her pounding hangover alone. She couldn't forget what happened when she woke up much later that day. She couldn't forget because that's when everything in her life completely changed.

And she became one of them.

* * *

(_Six Months Ago…_)

Faith shivered as she rolled over on the mattress and pulled the blankets tighter over her body. There was a chill in the room, the entire house, and it never seemed to go away no matter how long and how hot they let the fire burn in the fireplace in the den. Just faintly, over the sound of the generator whirring outside, she could hear the voices of the others talking.

It took her a few minutes to get her bearings, to let the night before replay itself in her mind fuzzily. She could still taste the tequila on her lips and smell it where she'd spilled it on her clothes in her drunken haze and the continuous flow of overflowing shots she poured for herself. She sat up and pulled the blankets off from around her and she moved around the room, picking up some of her clothes she'd ripped out of her duffel bag. She folded her shirts and her jeans, carefully placing them back into her bag before she changed out of her tequila-soaked t-shirt and pulled on a plain black long sleeve shirt.

After a quick trip to the bathroom to rinse out her mouth with mouthwash and put a brush through her hair—all the while avoiding her distraught appearance in the mirror—she joined the others in the den, the fire burning and crackling but doing nothing to warm the room.

"Ah, Faith, hello," Giles said, offering a warm, friendly smile as she hovered near the archway. "Would you join us? We were just discussing our next plan of action."

"Oh?"

"Would you care to take a seat?"

"I'm fine here, thanks," she replied quietly as she crossed her arms over her chest and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. "What's the plan?"

"We all know that we won't survive the winter here," Giles said as he paced the floor by the fireplace, all eyes in the room on him. "We know that going north is not an option and it is crucial that we avoid the main cities, as they are heavily populated with the infected."

"Zombies, Giles. Just call them zombies," Xander muttered. "That's what they are, aren't they?"

"Not particularly," Giles said with a short shake of his head. "Now, we have enough supplies that we can make it down into New Mexico. Faith, you and, ahem, when you travelled through there on your way up here, just how overrun were the towns you passed through?"

"Some of them were ghost towns, empty, deserted. Came across a few of the infected, but nothing like it was back in LA. There's nothing down there, Giles, sorry to say, but going down through New Mexico is only gonna be a death wish. Those towns? Picked clean by looters months ago. Ain't nothing left," she replied and the look of despair on the others faces was something she just couldn't brush off. "Where were you thinking of headed anyway?"

Nobody said a word. They didn't know where they were going. It was clear to her that wherever they went next, it was to survive another day. With no end destination in sight, she knew things could go very wrong, very fast, and that hope and the will to survive would die out quickly.

"It's gonna be a long winter if we don't get somewhere we can survive the elements," Giles spoke after a few long minutes of heavy silence. "Since travelling through New Mexico is not an option, does anyone else have a suggestion?"

"Maybe it's not as bad on the east coast?" Dawn suggested. "I mean, it started in California, right? How fast can this thing spread?"

"Fast," Faith said as she walked into the room. "You get bit, you got hours, a day, if that."

"But Angel—"

"Angel was already dead," Faith snapped and she breathed heavily, calming herself down as best as she could. Anger didn't make anything better, she already knew that much. "The infection spread through him slower because his heart? Not pumping that virus through him like it would with you or me. The point is, you get bit, you're dead before the day is out and then you turn into one of those _things_, hungry with insatiable blood-thirst that you go after the next living thing you find."

"It's like with any virus, any disease," Giles continued for her. "Say a man was bit, unaware of what bit him, in denial perhaps and he boards a plane from Los Angeles to Seattle and by the time the plane lands, he's already turned, feasting on the people inside that plane or the airport itself. People panic, more are bit, board another plane to get away from the chaos and it spreads further."

"It doesn't even have to be by people who are travelling," Willow said quietly. "There are millions of people fleeing all over the country. It's been a few months, Dawn. This virus? This infection? It's everywhere now and there's no point in trying to convince ourselves that maybe there's a place out there that hasn't been affected by this outbreak."

"This outbreak, as far as we're concerned, has contaminated the entire country and the only thing we can do is fight to survive."

"Why bother?" Dawn muttered as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Why bother, huh? So we survive another day, and then what?"

"Dawnie—"

"No, Buffy, just don't!" She screamed at her as she pushed Buffy away from her. "We could be running for months and nothing is going to change. It's only going to get worse. Why would anyone want to survive in a world like this? What did we even fight the First for? Maybe it would've been better if the First had won. Maybe if it had, _this_ wouldn't be happening! At least there's be a point in surviving, to try to save the world. How the hell do we save the world from this?"

Dawn was shaking and she pushed at Buffy again when she tried to wrap her arms around her. Buffy didn't give up, fighting with her for a few minutes before Dawn collapsed and buried her face into Buffy's neck, her choked sobbing the only sound in the otherwise silent room.

"Somewhere out there, Dawn, someone is trying to stop this," Willow said as she moved to join Buffy and Dawn on the couch. "You have to at least believe that, put your faith that there are people, scientists and oh, maybe even Wiccan's in different covens all over the worlds, are doing everything they can to find a way to stop this infection from spreading even more."

"We don't know that."

"No, we don't, but you got to at least believe it even if you don't know for sure. We can't lose hope. Hope is the only thing we have that'll help us survive."

Faith clenched her jaw tight as Angel's last words to her rang through her mind as if he were right there whispering them into her ear. It was all about hope, wasn't it? Deep down she knew that was true and that what Willow had just said, it was the only thing that'll help them survive. You lose hope and what do you have left? Nothing but death waiting right around the corner, ready to take you out, just like all the others who had lost hope before you.

"Texas," Xander said quietly. "How about we go through Texas? Bit of a trek from here, might not have enough gas to make it halfway there, but it's a start."

"And warmer than Colorado," Kennedy pointed out helpfully. "We got a few containers of diesel in the shed and we can empty what's left in the generator. Faith, how far back did that Jeep break down?"

"Few miles."

"There's probably an extra battery in the shed we can take with us. Xander, you'll probably be able to fix it, right?" Kennedy asked and Faith could just feel the rising hope coming from her and what she was doing was working because Dawn stopped crying and was listening to her speak. "We got two vehicles, the van and the Jeep and enough gas to get us out of Colorado and into Kansas."

"Do you perhaps have any maps, Kennedy?" Giles asked and she nodded as she pointed to the desk in the corner of the room. "We'll have to find a route out of the state and come up with a backup plan in case we run into some serious complications along the way."

"There's just one thing," Buffy said as she rose to her feet and smoothed out her shirt. "After what happened with Angel yesterday, we have to accept right here, right now that it could happen to any one of us." She paused as everyone stared at her, unmoving. "If that happens, we need to make a pact right here, right now."

"What kind of a pact are you suggesting?" Giles asked.

"The kind where if any of us are bitten, infected, we get to choose how we die, whether it's by our own hand or any one of you. We get to choose and there will be no blame, no guilt, no hate or misunderstanding, and there will be no falling outs between any of us because you don't agree with the person one of us has chosen to kill us, to save the rest of us from finding the same fate."

Xander looked a little bit unsure, but he was the first to speak. "Do we have to choose now or—" He shook his head as he readjusted his eyepatch. "I don't think I can make that choice right now."

"And you won't have to," Buffy replied. "You won't have to make that choice when and if that day ever comes."

"I'm in," Faith said. Buffy just smiled tightly at her before looking over at the others, one by one, waiting for their answer, to agree on this pact. "Look, she's not saying it's gonna happen, only that it _could_ happen, and if we agree to this, we can, I dunno, rest easy or whatever, just knowing we all got each other's backs no matter what."

The others gradually and eventually all agreed, nobody willing to discuss it any further. Faith didn't want to think about what would happen if any of the others were bit or who they'd choose to end their life before it was too late. She didn't even want to think about who she'd ask, but deep down she knew who she'd turn to in the end.

Buffy.

It would always come back to Buffy in the end and she wouldn't let herself stop and think just why that was, her head still pounding, her heart still broken and aching. It was too much, too heavy, and too much of a loaded question she wasn't quite ready to explore on her own.

With a plan set in motion, the rest of the afternoon went by quickly. The van was loaded up with all the supplies they had, the food, the weapons, clothes, tools, everything they could fit in the back and on the roof rack. They packed up all their things, boarded up the rest of the windows on the cabin just before nightfall and nobody seemed to want to spend the night on their own, everyone gathering in the den by the warmth of the crackling fire, the silence their only comfort as they settled in for the night. They were leaving first thing in the morning and it would be the dawn of a new day, a new life. The safety and the comforts of the mountain cabin would only just become another memory for all of them, and for Faith, her only memory of that place would be of the grief she'd experienced while she was there.

She couldn't wait to get out of there and put this all behind her, to somehow find hope along the way.

* * *

Faith stretched out, her foot hitting the empty wine bottle and she squinted as she listened to the bottle roll along the gravel roof. It was completely dark outside now and she sat up slowly, her body still thrumming from the buzz the wine had given her. The only sound she could hear once the bottle stopped rolling was the sound of crickets way off in the distance, in a field just a few blocks away, and the soft sound of Buffy breathing soundly as she slept near her.

"Shit," Faith muttered as she slipped out from under the makeshift shelter and stretched out completely.

She didn't remember falling asleep, the last thing she could remember was her and Buffy sharing the bottle of wine, neither saying a word until it was done and they sat there watching the sunset together, Buffy's hand somehow finding it's way into hers.

"Faith?" Buffy whispered quietly as she moved to stand next to her. "When did I fall asleep?"

"No clue, just woke up myself a minute ago."

"Oh."

"We should uh, get back in. Doubt Giles has the energy in him for another lecture like the one I got after spending the night up here last night."

"I don't think you need to worry about Giles," Buffy said quietly as she reached out and grabbed on to Faith's hand to keep her from walking away. "We have an arrangement."

"What?"

"I didn't explain in too many details, but I told him we needed some time together to work out a few things and asked him just to let us stay up here tonight, just the two of us," she said quietly and she let go of Faith's hand abruptly. "I just couldn't keep going on like we have been for the last couple of days."

"What with all that awkwardness because we hung out in the rain butt naked for a few minutes? No, we can't have that, can we?" Faith asked, her voice dry and laced with sarcasm. "Why don't you just tell me what you're playing at here, B. Just be for real with me for once and tell me what—"

Faith found herself suddenly locked in a hard kiss, Buffy's lips kissing hers insistently as Buffy's arms slipped around her shoulders, her hands cupping the back of her neck as she kept her from moving away. Faith's whole body was tense and it took her brain a moment to catch up, but once it did, she smiled against Buffy's lips and kissed her back, slipping her tongue past Buffy's lips to deepen the kiss as he hands slipped over her narrow hips and pulled her body flush against her own. She was drowning in the heated, passionate kiss, her head spinning, the world falling away from her just for a moment.

What was happening? She hadn't expected this and she definitely hadn't seen it coming. Her heart was racing as her palms laid flat against Buffy's lower back, holding her close as they kissed deep and slow. What was happening? Why was Buffy kissing her? Why wasn't she pushing her away, asking her what the hell was happening? Why was it almost impossible for her to stop? Why didn't she want to stop?

Faith pulled back after a few minutes, her head spinning as she stared into Buffy's eyes in the darkness. Words seemed to fail her as she licked over her lips, her eyes searching Buffy's for answers to unspoken questions. She closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feel of Buffy's fingers as they gently stroked over the nape of her neck and she caressed her hands over Buffy's lower back, her fingers dipping just under the hem of her t-shirt and along her soft, warm flesh underneath.

The lustful desire, the passion, the urge, the need flooding through her body was too much to deny was even there. There were too many questions, too many answers both of them needed to give, to hear, but words seemed to be failing both of them as they stood there in each other's arm on the gravel rooftop underneath the twinkling stars above.

Giving in to that lustful desire, Faith captured Buffy's lips in another heated kiss, her palms roaming over her lower back and down the slight curve of her ass, pulling Buffy harder against her, feeling Buffy's body react to hers, Buffy's hips rolling against her own as they drowned each other in the passion that was flowing between them. For once she could feel something else other than the struggle to hold on to hope, the exhaustion of trying to survive another day, the heavy feeling that had been in her heart for the last six months that suddenly seemed to be lifting away and all with just a kiss.

Her hands shook as she moved them back up to rest on Buffy's lower back, her body arching into Buffy's as Buffy sucked on her lower lip before slowly pulling away, both of them breathing heavily as they stood there holding on to one another, their eyes still closed, their hearts racing, lips still mere inches apart.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Buffy whispered, finally breaking the silence between them. Faith swallowed hard as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to Buffy's, keeping her eyes shut as she held on to her. "I don't know what to do anymore, Faith. Every time I'm near you, every time I even think about you, I—I feel these things, these feelings for you. They won't go away."

Faith could feel her hands trembling as she continued to stroke them along the nape of her neck. She leaned back and finally opened her eyes, staring into Buffy's that were so full of emotion that for one Faith could see it all. Faith could finally see how scared and lonely she was, that lustful desire underneath that that mirrored her own, the confusion, the frustration, the need to want to give in to what her body wanted. Faith licked over her lips, waiting, words still failing her, and only her quick, heavy breaths stumbled past her lips.

"I don't know how to stop feeling this way," Buffy whispered. "I don't know if I even want to stop feeling this way or for the way I feel about you to go away. I was so scared, Faith. I was so scared when we were up here the other day during that storm, naked and vulnerable, laying myself bare, literally, in front of you. I wanted it. I wanted you so badly, but I was so scared to let it happen, to give in. I don't know how to not be so afraid of giving in, or how to stop feeling this way."

Faith wasn't sure what she was feeling, but she knew hearing Buffy say those things made her feel something. Something more than lust, something more than a driving need, something more than insatiable passion in the heat of the moment. Her words continued to fail her, her mind running full tilt, but none of her thoughts made any sense and all she could do was feel and become pulled in to the moment that was unfolding between them.

Faith wasn't sure who initiated the kiss next, but they were kissing and moving and they ended up inside the makeshift shelter, laying down on the blankets with Buffy on top of her. Faith wasn't taking control, leaving that up to Buffy, taking into consideration just what she was feeling in this moment instead of playing on her own lustful desires. It didn't stop her from slipping her hands under the hem of Buffy's t-shirt, her hands seeking out the warmth of Buffy's skin. The deeper the kiss became, the more passion that fuelled between them, it left them both breathless as Buffy pulled back from her lips suddenly.

"I want this, Faith, I do. I'm just…I need some time to figure this out. I need time to…get used to this, the idea of wanting to be with you because I don't know what his is or what it could be yet," she whispered, her body trembling as she moved to lay next to her. "Can you give me that, Faith? Can you…wait?"

Faith sighed softly, nodding her head as she wrapped her arms around Buffy, her brain still going a mile a minute as she tried to pick out one single thought from all of them. She placed a kiss on Buffy's forehead and it wasn't long before she felt her drift off to sleep in her arms.

And it was only then that she finally spoke, just a whisper lost in the silence and in that lingering moment.

"I'll wait for you," she said softly, closing her eyes, almost giving into the pull of sleep. "I'll wait forever for you, B, if that's what you want, what you need. I'll wait."


	7. Chapter 6

They were surrounded with nowhere to run, no other choice but to fight to survive. They came suddenly in the night, clawing and banging into the barriers that had kept them out for days, barriers that had once stood strong that gave away with the force of dozens of them, blood-thirsty and starving, caught their scent, stopping at nothing to get inside.

Faith, Buffy, and Kennedy stood at the ready while the others scrambled to grab what they could and retreat to the rooftop. Faith felt tense as beads of sweat rolled down her back and she gripped on to her sword tightly, her longbow and the bag of arrows slung over her shoulders. She glanced over at Xander as he came back down the stairs from the roof and she shrugged off the bag of arrows and tossed them at him before she tossed the longbow his way. He caught it with ease and quickly readied a bolt, raising it and aiming it towards the barrier that was crumbling away.

"Where's Willow?" Buffy asked as Xander positioned himself just inside the stairwell door, giving his a clear line of sight.

"She's up on the roof with Giles. Safe."

"For now," Buffy finished for him, both her hands gripping onto her long broadsword, the tip resting on the floor by her feet. "Fire on my signal, Xander. We can't let them all get in here at once. We do and we're as good as dead."

"Way to keep the morale up, Buffy."

"Shut up, Kennedy," Faith hissed at her, her eyes stinging as she forced herself to blink. "Just shut up and focus right now. Xander, how many are there?"

"Giles is scoping it out from the roof," he replied and he turned to look up the stairs. "Giles?" He yelled out. "How many are there?"

The wood they'd nailed against the door from the outside split, the doors tore open as the infected clawed at the church pews they'd piled in front of the door. It wouldn't hold them back for long, minutes, if that. Faith and Buffy turned to look at each other and it was so clear that they were scared, but the adrenaline was quickly taking over, the slayer inside both of them waking up to the call of the fight. Buffy reached over and grabbed the front of Faith's t-shirt, pulling her in for a quick yet passionate kiss.

"Don't you die on me today, Faith."

"Same to you, B."

They kissed again, keeping it short and Faith grinned as Kennedy let out a groan of disgust and she ignored the lustful squeak of surprise she heard come from Xander. She smiled at Buffy, giving her a knowing nod as they turned their attention back to the barrier at the front door as a few of the pews came crashing to the floor.

"Seriously, guys?" Kennedy muttered and Faith glanced over at her, winking before she turned her attention back to the horde of infected that were nearly inside the old church. "Xander?"

"Giles?" Xander yelled up the stairwell again. "How many are out there? They're almost inside!"

"Retreat! There are too many. Retreat!"

Giles voice reverberated down the stairwell and none of them hesitated to move quickly, taking two steps at a time as the infected stormed inside the church. Faith was the last one out of the stairwell door and with Buffy and Kennedy's help, they barricaded the metal door with a few heavy barrels filled with scrap metal and wood.

"It won't hold for long," Giles said quietly as they all backed away from the door, one step at a time. "We'll need to find a way to take them out without putting ourselves in any further danger."

"How did they find us?" Xander whispered. "We were careful. We were quiet. We were protected. How did they find us?"

"Because of this," Willow said shakily as she held up her arm and pulled the sleeve of her shirt gingerly up her arm, revealing a long, deep gash. "I—it's not a bite," she stammered as she pulled her sleeve back down and pushed a concerned Kennedy away from her. "Kennedy, stop it, I'm fine."

"You aren't fine, Will," Kennedy said as she pulled the sleeve away from the gaping wound. "How did this happen? When did this happen? Willow?"

"This morning. I—I slipped out and went out. I was armed, protected. I couldn't come back in the way I left and I tried to—to slip through the opening where the building has caved in, you know that one spot if you climb up a little ways you can slip right on through to get inside—"

"You went out there?" Kennedy scoffed as she dropped Willow's injured arm. "Alone? How did you get this, Willow? How?"

"I slipped crawling back through and I tried to stop myself from falling. My arm got stuck and when I pulled it free, something metal and sharp cut my arm."

"And you hid it from us all day! Willow, you know better than this!"

"I know!" Willow said as her body shook with the tears that streamed down her cheeks. "I know, okay! I made a mistake. A stupid, stupid mistake. I should have told you. We could've found somewhere safer to be. I should've gone back and cleaned the blood or done something to cover the scent. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault…I'm so, so sorry…"

Faith clenched her jaw as she gripped on to her sword, the sounds of the infected climbing up the stairs growing louder by the second. Buffy looked over at her, concern written across her face and they both jumped as the loud bangs sounded from beyond the barricaded door.

She moved quickly to the edge of the roof and peered over the edge, watching as dozens of infected exited the church, snarling and growling as they stumbled out onto the street. Faith sheathed the sword into her belt and grabbed her longbow, readying an arrow as she watched the horde gather out on the street below. There were a lot; far too many for them to fight them on the ground and who knew how many more there were still inside and in the stairwell.

"What are we going to do?" Buffy asked as she stood next to her, keeping her voice quiet as she peered over the edge. "How many arrows do you have?"

"Not enough to thin out things down there, that's for sure."

"What are you thinking?"

Faith licked over her lips as she crouched down on the roof, her brows furrowed as she thought of their few options. They didn't have a lot of time or resources to fight a horde that big. There was a building next to the church, but the leap from one roof to the other was a huge risk, one that she knew herself, Buffy, and Kennedy would just barely be able to make. Fight or flight, always their options, but running away this time wasn't one. All their supplies were below and they wouldn't make it far with just the clothes on their backs and the weapons they wielded.

There could be a way. She had a shred of hope that there was a way to lead the horde away from the church, give the others time to grab their supplies and run. It only meant putting herself at risk, possibly Buffy too. Kennedy would have to stay with the others, help them fight off the infected if it came down to it because even she knew, as well as the others could fight, they weren't as strong or as fast as a slayer.

"Here's what I'm thinking," Faith said quietly as she stood up and licked over her dry lips. "We're going to lead the horde away from here."

"How?"

"We jump," she said, motioning to the roof and the thirty foot gap. She raised a hand to stop Buffy before she could utter a word. "It's a risk, I know, but we can make it, B. Are you in?"

"And then what?"

"We run, find some high ground with an escape plan, lure the horde that way and we run back here, grab our shit and get the hell outta dodge."

"And just how are we gonna lure the horde away from here?"

"Fireworks," Faith grinned at her, fully confident her plan would work. "That store we checked out a few days back? Found a stash of fireworks in the storage room. We jump, get down to the street, make our way there, grab them and we follow through on the rest of the plan. What do you think, B? Totally could work, yeah?"

"I believe it is the only plan that would give us a chance, suffice to say," Giles said as he approached them from behind. "What shall we do?"

Faith grinned. "You'll need to fight the ones in the stairwell before you can get down inside. You'll hear the fireworks go off and when they do, wait five minutes. It should clear the church out pretty quickly. You've seen how fast they move towards loud noises. When you clear your way through the stairwell, grab everything that you can and run."

"Where?" Xander asked as they all gathered near the edge, one by one. "Where are we running to?"

"The train station," Buffy answered. "We cleared it a few days ago and set up a barricade. Nothing is getting in without that barricade being torn down. You get inside and stay quiet. We'll make our way back there to you."

"How long do we wait?" Kennedy asked quietly and all eyes landed on Faith. "What if something happens to you guys? I mean, not saying something will, but what if—"

"Tomorrow night, just after dusk. If we're not there, you guys gotta move on, get outta town and head south," Faith replied quietly and she looked over at Buffy and nodded. "We'll be there before then, and if not…well, we know where you're headed, right? We'll catch up."

They quickly made plans, reminding each other to stay off the main roads and avoid dead end streets. Faith made Kennedy promise her to look out for Giles, Xander, and Willow while they were gone. She didn't have to give her the speech of what to do if anything were to happen to her or Buffy. Kennedy just knew. They all knew what to do if that ever happened. To any of them.

Faith slung her longbow over her shoulder and pulled her sword out from her belt. It was a long jump and she wasn't going to risk impaling herself with her own sword if she landed too hard or the wrong way. While Buffy and Willow talked quietly, the others arming themselves with what weapons they had, readying themselves for the fight that would happen within the next ten minutes if she and Buffy were lucky, she walked to the furthest edge of the roof and glanced at the building thirty feet away.

It was a long jump and they'd need a running start. The roof wasn't big and the direction they'd need to jump was narrow and didn't give them much length to get a good start before making the jump. There was no telling if the other building's roof would hold when they landed, the building itself mostly burnt out from a fire that happened long before they arrived in town. It was a risk, just like every day was a risk now, but it was one she knew they had no other choice. It was a thirty feet jump across or a hundred feet down to the ground.

"We can make it," Buffy whispered as she placed a hand on the back of Faith's shoulder. "Right?"

"Yeah."

Buffy moved to stand in front of her, pulling Faith's attention away from her thoughts momentarily. Had it really only been the night before that Buffy had kissed her, confessed to her that she had feelings for her she wasn't sure she was ready for? Had it really only been the night before that Buffy had fallen asleep in her arms and woke up just like that when the first rays of sunlight peaked over the horizon that morning? Faith couldn't stop the smile as she stared at Buffy, nor could she stop her hands from slipping over Buffy's narrow hips and pulling her in close, and nor could she stop herself from leaning in to kiss her.

Kissing Buffy felt like she was free-falling away from her life and all the problems that came with it, and just for a moment, everything faded away and she lost herself in the feel of Buffy's lips against her own, the way that Buffy shifted in her arms, her hands trailing over her shoulders, fingers slipping through her hair as they kissed one another with everything they had. Her mind, momentarily checked out, was brought crashing back down to reality at the sound of a throat clearing behind her.

"You two wanna tell me what's going on?" Kennedy asked tentatively as she stared at both of them as they backed away from each other. "Two days ago you two were completely avoiding each other and now you're…kissing each other when we're surrounded?"

"It's nothing, Kennedy," Buffy said quickly, turning away from Faith as she smoothed her hands down her sides. "Now isn't the time to talk about this. Let's just get this plan going, shall we?"

"Seriously?" Kennedy asked, her voice barely a whisper as she stared at Faith. "You're hooking up with _her_? Have you lost your mind or something?"

"It's…" Faith paused, struggling for the right word to describe it and settled on the obvious one. "It's complicated."

"Yeah, I can see that. What's really going on, Faith?"

"How about I'll let you know when I figure it out myself, yeah?" Faith said and Kennedy nodded slowly, her lips curling into a sly grin as she playfully slugged Faith in the shoulder. "What?"

"Nothing. I'll tell ya after you save all our asses from getting eaten."

"Ain't nobody gonna—"

"Faith!" Buffy called out in a hushed whisper from just a few feet away. "We have to move, now!"

"Whipped," Kennedy snickered, narrowly avoiding the almost playful punch Faith swung her way as she jogged over to join the others.

"On three?" Faith said, joining Buffy on the other side of the roof as they faced the jump.

"Did she just—"

"Three!" Faith said and she took off running, throwing her sword across the clearing before she made the jump, not once looking back to make sure Buffy was following her because she didn't need to. She knew Buffy was right there beside her, just half a step behind her.

She sucked in a breath and leapt from the roof, her legs continuing to move as she flung through the air and across the gap. Her heart leapt into her throat just milliseconds before she landed on the roof and tucked her body into a roll to reduce the impact of the jump. She groaned as she came out of the roll and crouched on the tar roof, her heart racing, and her lungs straining for a deep, much needed breath.

As she looked to her right and saw Buffy there with her, she let out a short-lived sigh of relief, barely managing to grab her sword behind her before the crackling sound echoed all around them. In seconds the roof caved in and they fell to the floor nine feet below, plaster and bricks and concrete falling all around them. Faith coughed as she sat up slowly, her vision spinning as she tried to regain her focus.

"Jesus," she groaned as she looked over at Buffy and sighed in relief to see she was okay and sitting up beside her, she too momentarily stunned. "You okay, B?"

"Didn't expect that to happen."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, let's just get out of here and stick to the plan. Your plan."

Faith nodded as she picked herself up from the floor, the floor beneath her feet creaking and groaning. It wasn't going to hold for long and the building itself could collapse at any given moment. And then there was the fact that the sound of the roof collapsing would most definitely attract the horde their way. They had a few precious minutes, if that, to get out of there and make their way down to the convenience store to grab the fireworks she'd discovered days ago in that storage room before they made their way to the other end of town. Just a few precious minutes and the clock was ticking down the seconds fast.

As they searched for a way down to the ground floor, Faith remembered an eerily similar situation they'd been in just a few months before, but now wasn't the time to think of the past. Now was the time to live in the moment, to do what they had planned to do. To save them all from what felt like an inevitable fate, one they escaped from day after day.

As the dust cleared, they finally found the door that lead to the charred remains of the stairwell. Going on a breath of hope and of faith, they headed down, moving quickly and swiftly, some of the steps crumbling beneath them as they sought to reach solid ground. As they leapt from the last few steps, Faith raised a finger to her lips and gripped tight on her sword with her right hand. They weren't alone.

With a nod of her head, she lead Buffy out of the stairwell and into the blackened storefront. The smell from the fire remained, hanging thick in the air, and she struggled not to choke as she moved silently across the floor, minding every step and listening to every ounce of her instincts as she followed the single beam of moonlight coming from the bullet hole in the front door. She cringed as glass crunched under her boot and they both stopped.

From the sounds she could hear, there were two others in the blacked, charred storefront with them, just out of sight. Her palms were sweaty as she gripped on to her sword with both and nodded her head at Buffy for her to move in the opposite direction. Two they could handle. Any more of them, they'd be in trouble because more would just keep on coming. The kill would have to be quick and quiet. There was no other way. Well, there was, but Faith wasn't going to slip out and leave two easy kills behind.

Faith caught sight of one to her right and she raised the sword, ready to strike. She caught it off guard, her sword slicing through flesh and bone and she sunk it in its head from behind. The body dropped to the ground just as Buffy made her own kill and they headed back towards the door, letting the light through the bullet hole guide them. Faith inched the door open just enough for both of them to slip through and they took off running down the street, narrowly avoiding a handful of infected that had branched off from the horde,

"How much further?" Buffy panted as they slowed their run down to a steady jog. "Another block, right?"

"Just about," Faith nodded. "When we get there, stay outside and keep a look out. I'll be in and out, alright?"

Buffy nodded and they rounded the corner. Faith slowed down to a stop as she saw the convenience store up ahead. She pointed her sword at a single infected stumbling around in an alleyway not far from them and Buffy just nodded again and headed towards it while Faith quickly made her way down the street to the store.

She slipped in through the broken door, the glass crunching under her boots as she swiftly moved to the storage room at the back. She had to kick open the door and she held her breath as the sound echoed through the store and she slipped into the storage room and grabbed the box of fireworks that sat on top of a shelf along the wall. She quickly searched around, just in case they'd missed something when they were there before, and once she was satisfied there was nothing there they could use, she exited the store, meeting up with Buffy just out on the street.

"Let's go."

"Where?"

"North," Faith replied as she pointed her sword up the street in the opposite direction they'd came from. Buffy nodded curtly and they started the walk down the street. "We gotta find a place we can get out and backtrack without running into any of 'em."

"It'll be hard. There are a lot of dead end streets on this side of town."

"Hard, but not impossible, B. Besides, even if we run into some of 'em, the fireworks are gonna be going off for at least five minutes. Gonna see if I can rig it up so they don't all go off at once."

"You can do that?"

"Was shown once, long time ago when I was a kid. Growing up as a Southie kid, ya learn a lot of things that could be useful later on in life."

"Like what?"

"Hot-wiring cars in under a minute," Faith replied and she laughed softly at the look Buffy gave her. "If I didn't know how, Angel and I would never have made it outta California when we did and…well, might not be here having this conversation with ya now."

"Did you ever—"

"Steal cars?" Faith finished for her and she shook her head. "Nah, I never did. Rode shotgun once and we nearly got caught." She paused as she furrowed her brow. She never talked about her life in Boston and she wasn't sure why she was talking about it now. "Another story for another time, yeah?"

"I'll hold you to that."

"You do that, B," she chuckled quietly and she looked around at the buildings on the street. "Come on, let's check this place out. Roof looks flat from here. We can set up the 'works up there."

"And our escape plan?"

"Let's get up on the roof first, map out the area from up there," Faith replied and she tried the doors to the building, the lettering on the door mostly covered by obvious signs of a flash fire inside. A doctors office, from what she could tell of the M.D. on the end that was visible. "Come on, let's check around back for a way up."

One way up meant only one way down and that could end up being a problem. A very big problem. Faith led the way down the dark alleyway, both of them on high alert and she came to a stop where the dumpsters were lined up underneath a thick drainpipe that rose up the side of the brick building. She wiggled her eyebrows at Buffy before sheathing her sword into her belt, slung the bag of fireworks over her shoulder, and she climbed up on top of the dumpster and leapt up, her hands grasping on to the metal drainpipe as her sword clattered against the brick wall.

Climbing up wasn't hard, not for a slayer. Once she was on the rooftop, she turned around and watched Buffy effortlessly climb up. She smiled as she held out a hand to her and she pulled her up the rest of the way. Faith shrugged off the bag of fireworks and got right to work, carefully removing each one from the package and setting it up along the middle of the flat roof while Buffy kept watch on the street below.

Faith pulled out her metal tin of cigarettes, counted them and knew she had just enough to do what she needed to do to keep the fireworks going for more than ten minutes. Because the tobacco was dry, they would keep burning until the embers hit the fuse. She'd seen it done when she was young, barely ten years old and hanging out with the neighbourhood boys who liked to play with fire and set off fireworks in ingenious way at the quarry she spent most of her summers as a kid at.

"We can climb back down and run that way," Buffy said as she joined her at the edge of the roof, following her pointed finger to look at a side street that led to the train tracks that were just barely visible in the moonlight. "We'll have enough time to make it, won't we?"

"Yeah, we should. Figured out how to buy us some time. Gonna cost me a pack of smoke though."

Buffy nodded and turned to look at the set up behind them. Faith carefully explained how it was going to work as she lit one cigarette after the other, placing each one at a specific angle along each fuse, the burning end a little bit closer with every one. As Faith placed the last cigarette down, she tossed her lighter towards Buffy who lit the fuse of the first firework and they both ran towards the edge of the roof and shimmied down the drainpipe just as the fireworks began to shoot off.

The light from the multicoloured fireworks lit up the street as they ran down towards the side street Buffy had pointed out. Neither of them looked back, running at full tilt as the sounds of the infected grew louder and closer. And they weren't just coming from the direction of the church, they were coming from everywhere. Faith pulled her sword free as they veered off the street and into a narrow alleyway. They didn't stop running, not even stopping when they reached an eight foot high metal fence. Faith flung herself towards it, her sword clanging loudly against the chain link fence and she scrambled to climb up it quickly. She pulled herself over the top and landed hard on her feet with Buffy right behind her.

Buffy led the way through the rest of the alleyway and out onto a dirt covered lot. Less than fifty feet away, down a steep incline, lay the railway tracks, the light from the moon and the fireworks illuminating the way for them.

They didn't stop not even when they reached the steep incline and Faith leaned back, using the momentum to slip down the hill without tumbling down face first. She grabbed on to Buffy's hand as they reached the bottom, mostly to keep Buffy from losing her footing and mostly because Buffy was showing signs she was lagging behind. They reached the train tracks and started to run down them together, the only sounds other than the fireworks popping and exploding overhead were the sounds of their boots crunching along the gravel between the tracks.

"Faith…stop…" Buffy groaned as she tugged on her hand and slowed her down. "Just…stop for a minute, please?"

"You okay, B?"

"I'm fine, just—"

"Need a minute we ain't got?"

"How far is the train station from here?" Buffy asked and Faith could only shrug. It was anybody's best guess. "Do you think we can make it?"

"Uh, B?" Faith said with wide eyes as she looked over Buffy's shoulder at almost a dozen infected sliding down the hill and headed straight for them. "Let's get the hell outta here!"

"We need to get off these tracks, Faith."

"And go where? We can't go back there! There ain't nothing to go back to now, B."

Buffy shook her head as the two of them started running down the tracks again, the infected gaining on them as they too picked up the pace. Faith knew that Buffy was right. They needed to get off the tracks and out of the open. They needed to find a place to hide, somewhere safe, just to ride out the night. If they didn't get off the tracks, they were as good as dead, slayers or not. Two infected they could handle but any more and they'd be in some serious trouble.

As they neared a covered bridge, Faith grabbed Buffy's hand again and led her off the tracks and down the bank to the waist deep creek below. The water was cold and she knew—and hoped—it would cover their scent long enough for them to find somewhere safe to hide out. They waded downstream and away from the town and into the countryside. The further they got from the tracks, the quieter it became all around them, and they were no longer being chased down by the infected that had found them down on the tracks.

"Faith," Buffy shivered as they climbed up the bank, both of them soaked to the bone. "We have to find someplace…safe…for the night."

"I know," Faith replied, a slight shiver running through her body, the night air a lot cooler than it'd been in weeks. She looked back at the town as the last of the fireworks shot through the sky and then it grew darker and even the light from the moon wasn't near as bright as it'd been. "Come on," she said to Buffy as she grabbed her hand again and led her through a grassy field, further and further away from the town and the train tracks that would lead them to the others.

If they got out of the abandoned church alive…and she had to believe they did, she had to believe they made it out and to the train station, and that they were safe now.

If she couldn't hold on to hope for anything else, she had to believe what they'd done had saved the others, even if that meant that they couldn't save themselves.


	8. Chapter 7

They ran through the field of wheat, never stopping, never looking back, never letting go of the other's hand as they ran through the darkness of the night. Buffy tugged on her hand, both of them panting as they came to a stop in the middle of the field. Buffy said not a word, just pointed out to their left. Sitting on top of a slight hill was a farmhouse. Faith just smiled as they started to run towards it, both on high alert in case they weren't entirely alone.

The house itself was boarded up and there were no signs of anyone, human or otherwise, had been there in quite some time, possibly even before the epidemic began. But Faith wasn't taking any chances and she silently motioned for Buffy to go around to the left side of the house while she went around to the right. She pulled at some of the boards on the windows as she inspected around the house and found the boards were nailed rather tight. If it was safe and they could get inside, they'd be protected for the rest of the night until they could venture out safely under the light of the sun first thing in the morning.

"It's boarded up tight, no way in," Buffy said softly as they met up around at the back of the house. "Did you find anything? A way in?"

"No," Faith said, breathing out a defiant sigh. "There," she said as she spotted a cellar door. "Come on."

Faith marched over to it and grabbed at the chain that had a heavy-duty padlock keeping it locked up tight. She tugged on the lock, but it didn't budge, not at first. She didn't give up until she felt the lock snap and she pulled the chains free from around the wrought iron handles. She pulled the door open and fumbled in her pockets for her lighter. She groaned as she turned to look at Buffy who held the lighter out towards her and she flicked it a few times. Not even a single spark.

"When we jumped into the creek…" Buffy trailed off and Faith shook her head, shaking the lighter and blowing at the wick before trying again.

"Damn it," she groaned as it failed to light. She pocketed it, despite it being utterly useless now and she peered inside the dark cellar entrance.

It was dark, but that didn't mean they'd be able to navigate their way through the cellar and find a way up into the house. Light would help, but they were shit out of luck on the light part. She eased herself down into the cellar, the stone steps slipping under her weight. When she stepped onto solid ground, she looked back up at Buffy.

"You coming or what, B?"

"Right behind you," Buffy replied under her breath before she climbed down into the cellar. She yelped quietly as the stone steps gave way and she tumbled forward and straight into Faith's waiting arms.

Faith chuckled as she let go of her and led the way through the musty, damp cellar. The ceilings were low and it was pitch black, but she could just faintly see ahead of her, her right hand trailing along the wall to help guide her way in the darkness. She reached a dead end and instead of turning back, she felt along the ceiling until she felt a latch and she pulled before she pushed the narrow trap door up. Dust kicked up as it hit the floor above and Faith pulled herself up with ease, reaching down to pull Buffy up with her.

Faith looked around the room and even in the darkness she could see furniture that was covered with drop cloths pushed to one side of the room. She started to search through the room, finding her way to the kitchen. She went through every cupboard, every drawer, until she found a box of matches and lit one. Buffy came into the kitchen carrying two fat candles and they both smiled as Faith used the match to light both and shook out the flame.

"We should check the house, make sure it's just us here," Faith said as she took one of the offered candles from Buffy. "I'll check upstairs, yeah?"

"Okay."

Faith offered an encouraging smile, but Buffy face was locked in a stoic expression. She reached for Buffy's hand and gently intertwined their fingers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Or we can check it out upstairs together and then down here?" Faith offered.

"Okay."

Faith led the way, moving slowly and quietly in case they truly weren't the only ones in the house. She found the stairs and each step creaked and groaned under every step they took. The upstairs wasn't nearly as big as the main floor and every room they checked, they found a few supplies. Half a dozen blankets of various sizes and materials. In the bathroom, which Buffy refused to enter because of the stale toilet water that filled the air, Faith found a few more candles and a fully intact first aid kid in the linen closet. There were also a few bottles of shampoo and a package of unscented bars of soap.

They used one of the blankets they'd found to gather their supplies in and they made their way back downstairs and Faith set the heavy blanket down on the floor by the fireplace. They hadn't spoke one word since they were in the kitchen nearly an hour earlier, and it was a comforting silence that lingered between the two. Faith motioned for Buffy to follow her through the few rooms on the main floor, but the other rooms were completely empty aside from a bookshelf full of dusty old books and knickknacks they had no use for.

Faith's stomach growled lowly and she was parched. She knew the chances were slim that they'd find any food or water, but she let her instincts guide her and Buffy back into the kitchen. From the looks of the house, it had been abandoned a long time ago, a year or two, maybe even more with the amount of dust that had settled. Buffy went off to explore the pantry while Faith rooted through the cupboards and drawers for a second time. She looked over towards the pantry as she heard something clatter and she left her candle on the counter and hovered in the pantry doorway.

"What'd you find?"

"Food," Buffy grinned as she held out a can of carrots towards Faith. "I think whatever is in the cans are still okay, everything else?" Buffy said as she pointed to a loaf of mouldy bread sitting to her right on the shelf. "Not so much. Except for that."

Faith let out a full on belly laugh that lifted her otherwise downed spirits. On the floor just by the door was an entire case of bottled water. "Feels like we just hit the fucking jackpot here, doesn't it, B?"

"Close enough."

"What do ya say we get a fire going and set up for the night?" Faith asked her as Buffy started handing her a few cans of vegetables. "We'll cook these up and eat. Won't be much, but it'll be better than trying to sleep on an empty stomach, yeah?"

Faith watched as Buffy walked past her and carried what she could out into the living room where the fireplace was. Faith grabbed her candle and followed her, her mind racing as she watched Buffy pull back a drop sheet from a table and started to break it into pieces they could burn. Despite how their night had gone, it was understandable that Buffy was beyond exhausted, but Faith could tell there was something else going on with her, something she couldn't quite figure out on her own.

She'd been in a situation like this—well, not exactly like this, per se—and she had been with Dawn at the time. It hurt just to think of her, but she couldn't not. Dawn had become such a big part of her life and it'd only taken weeks of them all out on the road together for the two of them to grow close. She felt that pang in her heart, the one that hurt more than anything, the one that resonated through her and reminded her that it was her who killed Dawn and saved her all at the same time. What she wouldn't do to take it all back, to make sure she never let Dawn out of her sight long enough for her to get bit.

No matter how many times she played over the day before Dawn came to her on the rooftop, she couldn't pinpoint an exact moment or time where she could've been bit by an infected without any of them knowing about it. If she let it, it could drive her completely insane trying to replay that day over and over again in her head. It was pointless because it had happened and she was gone now. Nothing would ever bring her back and all Faith had were the memories of the long nights she'd spend sitting up with Dawn while the others slept, talking quietly about nothing and everything all night long. The laughter, the teasing, the jokes, the sadness and the tears that followed. It was all a part of a bigger memory and one she knew she could never let die.

Not once had Buffy spoke of Dawn since they buried her and moved on. Not once had any of the others spoken of her either. It was almost as if she'd never existed in the first place and Faith wasn't sure what hurt more, knowing she was dead or knowing that her memory was fading from everyone else's heart and mind but her own.

Faith sat on top of a chair still covered and she watched Buffy drag the couch across the dusty wooden floor and positioned it a few feet from the fireplace. It'd be where they would sleep tonight, or where Buffy would. Faith wasn't sure if she'd be welcome or even expected to share the comforts of the couch in front of a warm fire all night long with Buffy. She pulled out her metal case and only two cigarettes remained inside, which unlike her lighter, had survived the trek through the creek. She struck a match and lit one, inhaling sharply as Buffy added more wood to the small little fire already going.

"We're going to need something to cook this in," Buffy said quietly as she held a single can of vegetables in her hand.

"There are pans in the kitchen. Or _a_ pan. It's hanging over where the stove used to be."

Buffy grabbed her candle and left Faith alone in the living room and with her thoughts, thoughts she tried to push from her mind as the hunger pangs reminded her it'd been far too long since she'd eaten anything. She longed for the foods she used to love to indulge in—at least in her time outside of prison. Greasy burgers with bacon and cheese, a cold and refreshing can of Coke, Doritos, cheesy fries; everything that was so bad for you but tasted like heaven with every bite. Unfortunately, she'd learned the hard way over the last nearly nine months, that there was no point in wishing for any of that and to learn to be grateful for what food they did manage to find to eat.

Her stomach growled as she took a long drag of her cigarette and watched Buffy as she came back into the room carrying the pan with three bottles of water tucked under her arm. She settled in front of the fireplace and used one bottle of water to clean the dust and the grime from the pan as best as she could.

"Here, catch," Faith said as she pulled out her Swiss army knife that never left her pocket and tossed it towards Buffy.

"I looked to see if there were any forks or anything," Buffy said as she started to open one can. "We're eating like savages tonight."

"Don't we always," Faith chuckled dryly and she hopped off the chair and walked over towards the fireplace, taking one last drag of her cigarette before she flicked it on top of the burning wood. "Just mix it all in together. Don't care what it ends up tasting like, food is food."

Buffy didn't say a word as she concentrated on opening the can. Once she had half the lid off, she handed it to Faith and she pried it back enough to pour the contents out into the frying pan. Six cans later, the frying pan was full and Faith ripped a piece of the drop sheet from the couch and wrapped it around the handle before she stuck the pan over the fire.

"Do you think the others made it out of there?"

"Yeah," Faith said, watching the fire lick around the pan, slowly roasting the vegetable mix inside. "I mean, they had to have made it, right? Bet they're sitting in the train station, safe and sound, and wondering the same about us right now."

"Maybe."

Faith shifted on her knees, not taking her eyes off the pan in the fire. Thoughts of Dawn were swirling in her head, those thoughts becoming so loud she couldn't resist bringing it up. "Do you think about her?"

"Who?"

"Dawn."

Buffy was silent and only the sounds of cracking and popping of the wood in the fire filled the room. Faith sighed as she pulled the pan out and placed it on the stone hearth and turned to look over at Buffy. She could see the sadness in her tearless eyes, the pain that settled deep inside of them over the loss of Dawn. Of Angel. Of others along the way, the potentials that had been with them in Sunnydale, Wood, hell maybe she ever felt that sadness for Andrew too.

"B?"

"I don't want to talk about her," she whispered quietly, her lips trembling as she sat on the floor with her back up against the couch. "I'm not ready to talk about her."

"I know. I just—"

"You just what, Faith? Just wondering if I think about my _dead_ sister every day? Wonder if I think about what it would've been like if she came to me instead of you? What it'd be like if she was still here with us? Of course I fucking do," she spat and she wiped away a stray tear that had fallen. "It doesn't mean I want to talk about her. Not yet. Maybe not ever."

Faith clenched her jaw and grabbed the cooling pan from the hearth and moved to sit next to Buffy. She placed the pan on the floor beside them and grabbed a piece of broccoli. She stared at it for the longest time before she ate it. It tasted bland and slightly stale, but it was edible and that's all that mattered.

"Eat up, B," Faith said as she nodded down towards the food between them. "Come on, I know you're just as hungry as I am right now."

"You know what I wish?"

"What?"

"I wish…god, this is so stupid," Buffy said with a shake of her head as she plucked a small handful out of the pan. "There's no point in wishing for something I can't have, is there?"

"You wish this was like a big greasy burger, huh? Maybe a nice juicy steak and a baked potato."

Buffy laughed and there was no malice in her tone. "Or fried chicken. Maybe lasagna with a garden salad on the side."

"Ice cream for dessert?"

"Vanilla ice cream with a slice of warm, homemade apple pie."

Faith knew what she was doing, she wasn't completely oblivious. Because she'd mentioned Dawn and from the way Buffy reacted, Buffy was doing whatever she could to get her mind off her sister. They ate in heavy silence until the last of it was gone. Faith placed the pan on the stone hearth and sat back heavily against the couch. She smiled a little, mostly to herself, as Buffy handed her a bottle of water and they drank thirstily until there wasn't a single drop left.

She wasn't sure how long they sat there, just watching the fire, each of them taking turns to add another small piece of wood to keep it burning, but the silence was still comforting and not at all as tense as it had felt before when she mentioned Dawn. It felt like hours that they sat there on the floor, leaning back against the musty smelling couch, but for all she knew it could've been just minutes.

Faith kicked off her boots and pulled off her still damp socks, sighing as she wiggled her toes and caught Buffy giggling quietly at her. She just winked and watched Buffy follow suit and their hands joined together as if it was the most natural thing in the world for them to do. Faith wasn't sure what compelled her, but she lifted Buffy's hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. She wasn't the tender type, never had been, but something had changed inside of her without her realizing it.

Suddenly she yearned for that warm, soft touch, whether it be lustful or a loving touch, she just needed something. She needed to feel again, to feel like a woman and not a warrior, a survivor. She wanted Buffy and there was no denying it, no trying to pass it off as just needing to feel again, and there was no use in lying to herself that she truly wanted and desired to be with Buffy. If even for it was just for one night.

All it took was one look. The tentative way their eyes met in a heated gaze, the way that Buffy mirrored Faith as she licked over her lips slowly. Their lips met in a fiery kiss, lips and tongues hungry to touch, to feel, to taste. A surge of rolling pleasure rolled through Faith's body and she pulled Buffy on to her lap, deepening the kiss as she slipped her hands under the hem of Buffy's shirt. Like her own clothes, Buffy's were still slightly damp from the creek and although it had been hours, they still weren't completely dry. The material of her shirt stuck to her skin a little as Faith's hands swept up her back slowly.

"Mmm," Buffy moaned quietly as Faith broke away from her lips and kissed over her jaw and down her neck. "Don't stop kissing me."

"I am kissing you," Faith murmured as she planted soft, wet kisses along her neck unhurriedly.

Buffy moaned again as Faith moved her hands around to her stomach underneath her damp shirt, her hands finding their way to cup her braless breasts. Faith paused as Buffy ran her hands down her arms slowly, her touch light and she stopped as she reached the hem of her shirt where Faith's arms disappeared under and she tugged at it, making Faith lean back and watch her as she pulled her shirt up and over her head. Another surge of pleasure rolled through Faith's body as her lips went back to Buffy's neck, kissing and sucking over her pulse point as she rolled her fingers over Buffy's hardening nipples.

Faith moaned as Buffy ran her fingers through her hair and eased her lips away from her neck, bringing their lips back together in a crushing kiss. Together they rose up from the floor, barely breaking away from their kiss as Buffy pulled Faith down with her on the couch. Faith was overcome by the throbbing need inside of her and all over her. Her hands wanted to touch every inch of Buffy all at once, her lips wanted to taste every inch of her all at once. Her mind was consumed with lust-filled thoughts, sending her spiralling into an enticed state of mind and body.

She pulled back from Buffy lips, both of them panting as they breathed heavily. Faith stared into Buffy's eyes, eyes that almost glowed in the light of the fire, and she knew then that what she was feeling could end up in disaster with Buffy if she didn't put a stop to it. When that lustful desire took over her, she was unstoppable in getting what she wanted, and she couldn't let that happen. Not with Buffy.

"Faith?"

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea…" Her voice cracked as she moved to get up from on top of Buffy but Buffy stopped her, wrapping her arms tightly around her. "B, you said you wanted to wait…"

"I know."

"This is far from what you wanted last night, B."

"You're wrong. After what we went through tonight," Buffy said gently as her fingers dipped under the edge of Faith's shirt. "I realized something."

"What's that?"

"What if we don't have the time to wait? What if we never have the chance to know what it's like? What if tomorrow we don't make it through the day alive? Or the day after that?" Her lower lip trembled as Faith shifted her weight slightly, holding herself up with both hands on either side of Buffy's body. "I know what I feel. About you. And this?" Buffy paused to lean up and kiss her and sighed as she laid her head back down on the couch. "This feels right. It feels good and I don't want to stop."

"Buffy…"

"I know you want this," she whispered. "I can feel how much you want this. Are you…afraid of giving in because you think that when it's over that—"

"That you'll regret it?" Faith finished for her. "Maybe you will. Where will that leave us then, B?"

"I won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do," Buffy smiled as she inched Faith's shirt up, exposing her skin to the warm of the room. "I want this, Faith. I want you. All of you. All I could think about all day was what it'd be like to be with you, to feel you against me, completely. All I could think about all day was what I said to you last night and I hated how I felt so scared because I wanted to give in so badly. I wanted to give all of myself to you. No matter what happened tonight, you were the only thing on my mind. Not making it out of there alive, not worrying about the others, just you. And me. Together. Just like this."

Faith's body shuddered as Buffy's fingers stroked along her spine, her eyes intensely locked with her own. She swallowed thickly as she leaned back and allowed Buffy to pull her shirt free. She stopped Buffy from reaching for her bra clasp, grabbing her hands and pinning them against the couch just above her head as their lips crushed together in a thoroughly passionate kiss.

Those thoughts of stopping still lingered faintly in her mind, her lust-fuelled haze filling her completely as they kissed frantically, hips bucking together as their bodies sought out each other. She pulled back from Buffy's lips, gasping for breath as it dawned on her. This was what they'd both been fighting all these years, the passion that flowed between them, the lust—dare she even think it, love—and it was so much more than the slayer bond they had and now it was all beginning to make sense. Completely. Their strength, their power, it had constantly been reaching out to bring them together and they'd both fought it, fought what it really was, denied it.

And now that Buffy had given in to the lustful desire they both were feeling flowing deeply and freely between them, Faith couldn't help but give in and let it consume her too.

Kissing her made the world slip away, kissing her made her feel again. Feeling her body beneath her own, it breathed in new life inside of her, a new sense of hope, of love she had long since felt, if ever. She smiled down at Buffy as she let go of her hands and she trailed a hand down her left arm, over the slight swell of her breast and down her stomach, eliciting a sensual shudder from Buffy that reverberated through her own body.

Testing the waters, the limits between them, Faith slipped a hand between their bodies and cupped Buffy over her jeans. She bit her lower lip as Buffy's body reacted to her touch and she could feel the heat coming from her pussy through the material of her jeans. Buffy's hand fell over hers, encouraging her to touch her harder and she complied, rubbing her roughly as their lips met again in a heated kiss. Her mind was swimming as she was consumed by Buffy and she gasped against her lips as Buffy undid her own jeans and guided her hand inside.

It was all she needed to push back any doubts or worries that when this was over, Buffy would regret it, blame her for taking what they both obviously wanted. Her fingers slipped through soft pubic hair and she felt the moan rumbled through Buffy's body before she heard it, her fingers slipping between wet folds unhurriedly. Buffy sucked on her bottom lip as Faith's fingers circled over her clit, drawing out the passion, the pleasure that she was giving to her.

Faith moved her lips away from Buffy's, kissing her way down her neck, her heated flesh almost burning against her lips and tongue with every kiss, every bite, every lick. She eased a single finger inside of Buffy's tight, wet hole, teasing her as her lips wrapped around a hard nipple. Buffy's soft sighs and pleasurable moans filled the room and it made Faith's head swim in absolutely ecstasy. Still, she moved unwaveringly down her body, tasting every inch of skin her lips could reach.

Buffy slid her thigh between Faith's legs, pushing it against her pulsing, throbbing pussy, and she moaned loudly against Buffy's skin on her tight, flat abdomen. She pulled her hand out from inside Buffy's jeans, her fingers working to unzip the zipper completely, fingers working to grasp the edge and pull them down smoothly, her lips leaving Buffy's heated flesh as she knelt between her legs. Her eyes trailed up Buffy's semi-nude body and met her eyes, eyes gazing at her with such intensity it washed over her, warmed her, sent those tingling sensations up and down her spine.

She grasped tightly on to Buffy's jeans and pulled them down, watching as Buffy lifted her ass to make it easier for her to remove them with ease. She pulled the tight jeans off, letting them fall to the floor beside them and she smoothed her hands over Buffy's legs, watching the goosebumps that raised up where her palms had just touched. As Buffy shifted her body further up the couch, Faith spread her legs, her fingers dancing over her inner thighs, her eyes taking in every inch of Buffy's body that she could see in the flickering light of the fire. She could smell Buffy's heady scent and she dipped her head down, placing soft, wet kisses along Buffy's hipbones. She inhaled sharply, her tongue salivating, wanting to taste her completely.

Faith closed her eyes as she moved her lips to Buffy's inner thigh and she playfully nipped at her skin, drawing out a pleasurable squeal from Buffy. She smiled against her skin as she flicked her eyes open and glanced up to meet Buffy's eyes with her own. They didn't break their gaze as Faith licked along her inner thigh with the flat of her tongue and they didn't break their gaze as Faith brought her fingers to Buffy's pussy and spread her lips as her tongue slipped over, drinking her in, tasting her completely for the first time. And not the last. Not tonight.

Small beads of sweat rolled down Faith's back as she licked over Buffy again, her tongue dipping inside her hot, tight, wet hole, her fingers circling over her clit, drawing out a quick orgasm that took her by surprise and filled them both with wanton lust they couldn't hold back any longer.

Buffy's hands slipped through Faith's hair, gently tugging her away as her orgasm reverberated through her body. Faith moaned against wet flesh, taking one more taste, prolonging it as she drank her in and allowed herself to be guided back up to Buffy's lips for a fervently steamy kiss that was drawn out to the point where they broke apart, gasping in lungfuls of air to catch their breath.

"Faith…"

"Mmm?"

"Take your pants off," Buffy breathed out as her hands fumbled to unclasp her leather belt. "Now," she said huskily, her voice demanding.

Faith chuckled throatily as she leaned back and helped Buffy get her belt and pants undone. Buffy's hands were moving quickly as she pushed her pants down and urged her back on top of her as Faith tried to wriggle free of them as they kissed hungrily, unable to get enough of one another. Hands grasped at one another, holding each other close as their bodies writhed and slid together, fitting almost perfectly as they tumbled down the spiral of pure, intense passion that fuelled between them.

With Buffy's urging, Faith's movements still almost completely as Buffy's hands explored her body, fingers tripping over the edge of her bra before reaching for the clasp. She swallowed hard as it dawned on her what was happening, what this was, what it meant.

And it didn't scare her like she thought a moment like this would. It just lured her in and made her want more. So much more.

This wasn't only just lust, this was love, and it was laid out bare between them, pulling them in, forever making them tumble down deeper and deeper inside of one another. Neither rushed, neither pushed the other too far, they only just did whatever felt good for both of them. It wasn't just about her, Faith knew that, it was about Buffy too. It was about both of them, together, as one.

Finding love in a world like the one it'd become was impossible, but not completely, because Faith knew every time her eyes met Buffy's that she'd found the one thing she never knew she was still looking for…

* * *

They ran through the field, the rain coming down hard as thunder cracked off in the distance. The storm was what had woken them up after hours of making love on the old musty couch in front of a dying fire. The storm was what had made them crash back to reality, knowing that they had to make their way to the train station, to catch up with the others before nightfall.

Their feet thumped against the wet ground in perfect rhythm, each of their strides matching the other. Their hands were clasped together, neither wanting to let go, neither having a reason to let go. They slowed as they reached the creek and they stood there staring down at the murky water as the rain fell hard from the sky above.

Faith blinked through the rain as she turned to look at Buffy. She couldn't hold back the affectionate smile that curled over her lips, a smile that was so easily, so readily returned. She let go of Buffy's hand and cupped her face gently, their lips seeking out each other's as they shared a loving, sensual kiss. Ever since they'd woken up to the sound of thunder rumbling through the sky, they hadn't been able to keep their hands or lips off of each other.

Everything about this was new to Faith, but even as new as it was, it felt good. It felt right. It felt like it was supposed to be this way and that there would be nothing that would ever change between them and where they were now.

"Which way?" Buffy asked her as she was the first to break away from the kiss. "Are we going to follow the creek back to the tracks?"

"Seems like the only way to get back there without getting lost, yeah?"

"And if we run into—"

"We'll take care of it if we do, but this rain, B? It feels like a blessing. Like we've been given the break of our lives. The chances we'll run into one of _them_ are slim to none as long as the rain keeps up."

They shared one more kiss before they walked along the side of the creek in the direction they had come the night before, hand in hand and in silence. Faith placed her other hand on the handle of her sword as they walked swiftly along the creek. It wasn't long before she spotted the tracks up ahead and she tugged on Buffy's hand, urging her to move a little bit quicker on her feet.

The minutes passed by as they followed the tracks, the rain coming down harder and making it nearly impossible to see more than ten feet ahead of them. Faith let go of Buffy's hand and placed it around her shoulders, both of them smiling as they looked at one another and continued on.

Deep down she had this nagging feeling of guilt, like it was wrong to feel so happy when there was no more happiness left in the world. She tried to ignore it, tried to keep that grin on her face as she remembered the night before and everything that had unfolded between them. She wasn't wrong if she said it had been the best night of her life and she had. She'd told Buffy that once or twice in their heated passion. Living in the moment, every little moment, and hanging on to it even now, hours later.

It was a long walk along the tracks, but before long they could see the faintest outline of the train station just up ahead. Faith dropped her arm from around Buffy's shoulders and grabbed her hand again, smiling as they both squeezed and started to jog along the tracks towards the station. All was quiet aside from the rain and the thunder that was rolling out, barely a distant rumble as the storm moved on.

The closer they got, the more Faith had hope that the others were alive. She knew they were. She knew they'd made it out of there safely and were waiting for her and Buffy to find them. When she spotted the glow of a fire being burned inside, she let out a relieved laugh before she and Buffy ran harder, faster, both leaping up onto the platform as the door swung open and the others rushed outside to greet them.

Willow and Xander threw their arms around Buffy, the three of them crying happy, relieved tears as they clutched on to one another. Faith was taken back with surprise as Kennedy hugged her tight.

"I knew you guys were alive," she whispered before she backed away. "Where were you?"

"We got chased outta town," Faith replied and she smiled warmly at Giles as he approached her and Kennedy. "We found a place to hide out for the night and when the storm started, we headed back this way. Glad you guys survived. Bet you got one helluva story to tell about your escape off the roof, huh?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Kennedy chuckled. "Come on, lets get inside. We grabbed everything. I'm sure you're gonna wanna get outta those wet clothes, yeah?"

Faith grinned as she followed the others inside the train station and she helped Kennedy and Xander block off the door before they went upstairs into the attic where a small fire was burning inside a steel drum. She looked over at Buffy on the opposite side of the room and they just shared a knowing smile between them. They were reunited and safe again. At least for one more day…


	9. Chapter 8

Nearly two uneventful weeks passed as they made their way south towards the Gulf Coast. During that time, Faith had grown closer to Buffy and the others, they had unspoken questions for them both. Faith could see it in their eyes every time they caught sight of her and Buffy spending some time alone together, sharing a bed, going off together just to have a moment to themselves thinking nobody else noticed, and every time one of the others caught them stealing kisses when they thought nobody was looking.

They had made their way down to what was left of Galveston, Texas, choosing to go there on rumours they'd heard from other survivors they'd come across in Houston. It was supposed to be safe there, the island itself protected from the infected, supposed to be untouched by the epidemic that had gripped not just the country, but the entire world. The rumours had been wrong. The second they'd reached the bridge that crossed over the Galveston causeway, they knew the rumours were dead wrong. The bridge had been blown to pieces and there was no way across on foot. They couldn't swim just over a mile to reach the island either, not without leaving behind all their supplies.

Eventually they found the railroad tracks that crossed the causeway were still mostly intact and they walked across carefully with Faith leading the way, Buffy and then Kennedy behind her, Willow behind them with Giles and Xander in the rear. It'd taken them far longer than anticipated to cross over onto the island, and when they landed on solid ground, they knew right from the start they'd made a grave mistake.

They hit the ground running, dodging bushes as they ran through the brush that surrounded the tracks. They kept close to the tracks, following the power lines across the brush filled field, the sounds of the infected all around them and closing in fast. The first road they hit, there was a wall over twenty feet high, topped with barbed wire and it ran down the road in each direction as far as the eye could see with no way to get over the top.

That was less than twenty-four hours ago and now they were holed up in a warehouse just off the docks not far from the train tracks they'd followed to get to the island. And they were surrounded, yet safe for now, maybe an hour or two more before the infected got past the barrier they'd built around the only doorway in the room they were in, the only way in and the only way out.

They needed to get out of there, fight their way back to the wall and find a way to the other side. Even Giles was convinced there was salvation on the other side of the wall that clearly had been built to keep the infected out. It was a risk, but the longer they waited, the worst it would get, and the infected that had them surrounded kept growing in numbers with every hour that passed.

"We gotta get outta here," Faith said to Buffy quietly as they stood on a stack of empty crates, just out of earshot of the others. "You know it and I know it, B. We can't stay here. We're surrounded. We stay here any longer and we're—"

"Dead. I know."

"We've gotta fight our way outta here."

"How, Faith? How are we supposed to do that? The only way out is through a horde of those things and we don't even know how many there are!"

Faith groaned quietly as she ran her fingers roughly through her hair. "I don't know, B, but we gotta figure something out."

"Willow," Kennedy said as she approached from the side, stepping out of the darkness and into the glow of the single candle that Buffy held between both hands. "She thinks she can clear a path for us."

"How? Her magic weakened after that spell with the scythe," Buffy replied. "The last time she tried to use magic was months ago and that left her sick for days."

"She's been feeling stronger lately," Kennedy said as she looked across the room over at where Willow laid on a pile of blankets, sleeping. "We have to let her try."

"What if she ends up hurting herself?"

"She won't."

"You don't know that."

"What do you want to do then, Buffy?" Kennedy asked, clearly frustrated. "Stay here and die?"

"No, I just—I don't know, Kennedy."

"She's strong enough to cast a spell that'll push them away just long enough for us to get out of this room and fight. Let her try. What other choice do we have? There is no other way. We either fight or we stay here, trapped, waiting to die."

"We're not gonna die," Faith said as she hopped off the crate. "We're gonna get outta here. We're gonna fight. We're gonna survive. And we're gonna get over that wall, no matter what lies beyond it. It's gotta be better than this, right?"

"No," Buffy said softly. "It's not. That rumour those people told us that we would find solace here isn't true, Faith! There is no safe haven here. This whole place is overrun with infected. We have no idea what is on the other side of that wall!"

"Guess it's time we found that out for ourselves, yeah?" Faith said as she turned and walked over to where Willow was sleeping and gently nudged her awake. "Willow?"

"Hmm? Faith? What is it—"

"Is it true?"

"What?"

"You're feeling strong enough to cast a spell that can help us fight those things and get outta here?"

Willow sat up slowly and cast a quick glance over at Kennedy across the room before she slowly nodded her head. She looked nervous as she stared at Faith, before she inhaled deeply. "I can try something small. It'll push them back, how far, I'm not sure. Faith, I don't even know if it'll work."

"Has to."

"I—I don't know—"

"We've stayed here long enough, sitting on our asses and waiting to die here. I ain't dying in this place, Willow, and I know you aren't either. We have no other choice. No other options. No other way out."

"She's right," Giles said from a few feet away where he'd been sleeping with his back to them. He sat up and slid his glasses on, blinking in the candlelight as Buffy and Kennedy joined them. "There aren't any other options right now, Willow. I can assist you in the spell, so you will not have to take the burden of it alone. We should get started. It'll be dawn soon and perhaps we can count on the horde to thin out when the sun rises."

"What's going on?" Xander asked groggily as he walked towards them, one fist rubbing at his eye. "Guys?"

"We're gonna try to get outta here," Faith replied and she turned to look at Buffy and Kennedy. "How many bolts do we have left?"

Kennedy looked at the bag and frown. "Not a lot. Less than a dozen."

"Make every shot count," she said as she grabbed the bag of bolts and tossed it at Xander. She handed him her longbow and smiled a tight smile. "We're counting on you to have our backs out there, Xander."

Everyone prepared for the fight, for their escape from the place that had kept the save for the last day. The roof was silent and the only sounds came from beyond the barricaded door, the growling and snarling, the sound of hands clawing at the metal door. Sounds that should only belong in nightmares, not in real life. As the minutes passed by quickly, Faith couldn't shake the sinking feeling that something bad was about to happen. She had to push it down, ignore it. Something worse would happen if they stayed there and didn't try to fight their way to survival. They packed up and wielded their weapons and everything about this was exactly the way it'd been for weeks, for months. How much longer would they be fighting for survival? How much longer would they keep running, trying to find that safe haven, solace somewhere in a world where there didn't seem like there was any hope left for survival?

After an hour of preparation, Willow and Giles were ready to do the spell, Faith, Buffy, and Kennedy ready to fight as they fled with Xander in the rear, wielding Faith's longbow and only half a dozen arrows. The plan wasn't spoken of and it wasn't needed. They all knew what they needed to do. Get out of there at all costs and leave nobody behind.

"Remove the barrier from the door," Giles instructed. "It is time."

Faith, Buffy, and Kennedy removed the piles of furniture, barrels and filing cabinets that were stacked up against the metal door. They removed each piece carefully and quietly, as to not alert the infected that were lurking on the other side of the door. With the last of the barrier removed, Faith tightened the strap of her duffel bag she had slung around her body, bringing it and all that she carried with her that belonged to her tighter against her back.

A wave pulsed past them and out the door the instant it came crashing down. Faith gripped her sword tightly, watching the dozens of infected being thrust back by magic and down the metal stairs. No one spoke a word as they moved forward, Faith taking the lead and leaping down the stairs to the first landing where one stray infected lay before her, the shock from the magic and being thrust down the stairs causing its body to convulse violently. She stuck her sword into its skull before moving further down the stairs.

And that was when all hell broke loose. Literally.

Faith was unstoppable, clearing herself a path through dozens upon dozens of infected that had filled warehouse. She was too far from the others, but she didn't stop, she didn't retreat, the only thought on her mind was getting all of them out of there alive, at all costs.

"Ahh!" Faith screamed, but it was drowned up in the intensity of the fight. She used the butt-end of her sword, smashing the infected who was latched on to her arm, its teeth sinking deep into her flesh even through her long-sleeve shirt. She hit it in the head once more before it released its strong jaw from her arm and she kicked it away, yelling furiously as she sliced the sword into its skull.

"Faith!" Buffy yelled out from behind her as she clutched her left arm. "Come on, we're getting out of here now! This way!"

Faith didn't respond, too busy trying to fight her way over to where Buffy and the others were, fighting their way towards the large opening in the crumbling wall, an opening that looked as if it had been hit by a bomb. She found her opening and sprinted towards the opening, her hand clutching her arm where she'd been bitten, blood seeping out slowly yet steadily.

Now wasn't the time to panic. She couldn't and wouldn't spend a second panicking until they were far from that place and somewhere safe, sort of. No where was ever safe enough.

Faith ran after the others, jumping over rotting, dead bodies like she used to jump over tombstones in the cemeteries when she was chasing down vamps. God, what she wouldn't give right now to go back to that kind of a life, where all she had to worry about was getting through the night and not end up dead and turning into one of the things she was made to kill. She shook those thoughts from her head, glancing back behind her for just a second to see over a dozen of the infected giving chase, but they weren't as fast as some of them and they were gaining a good lead.

"There's a door!" Buffy yelled from up ahead and Faith didn't let the relief wash through her for a second. False hope was something she just didn't have in her anymore. "Come on! Faith, Kennedy, I need your help!"

Faith moved quickly, joining Buffy and Kennedy at the steel door that didn't look like it would move. They pushed it together, hearing the groaning and grinding of the steel as it slid open, inch by inch. Even with three slayers, they could barely get it open and keep it open for the others to slip inside. Faith's bitten arm was aching, but she didn't let up, straining and using every last bit of her strength to open the door just a little more.

"Come on, on three," Buffy said and her eyes locked with Faith's just for a moment before she counted out quickly and the three of them tumbled past the door, Faith just barely making it through before it slammed shut. "Faith," Buffy panted as she walked over to her. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing, B."

"Did you—"

"No," she lied, knowing exactly what Buffy was asking her. She didn't want her to know. She didn't want it to be real. She was lying even to herself and now she has a death warrant on her head, her days numbered and she didn't want that to make whatever she had with Buffy any different.

"Can I—"

"No," Faith said firmly and the others were watching them, just like they had been doing in the last two weeks. "I'll take care of it once we're somewhere safe, B. Don't worry, okay?"

Faith took in their surroundings now that they were on the inside of the wall. It wasn't like it was on the other side, no dead bodies littered the ground and it seemed…clean, almost, in a way that Faith knew that whoever was living in this sanctuary had kept it this way. They were all exhausted, moving slowly down the street, the quiet feeling far heavier than it should've felt.

It was barely minutes after they got past the door before Faith was suddenly staring down the barrel of a shotgun. She didn't panic, she just stilled and inhaled slowly as she looked at the man holding the gun to her head.

"We're clean," she said evenly, willing her hands not to shake at the lie tumbling past her lips. "We're just looking for someplace safe, we're not here to hurt anyone."

"How'd you get in?"

"The door," Faith replied, jerking a thumb over her shoulder.

"That door is controlled, nobody can get in or out unless someone pushes the button from inside."

"We're slayers," Kennedy said and suddenly the gun was trained on her. "Look, like my friend said, we're clean and we're not here to hurt anyone. We just need a safe place to stay."

"Jerry, what's going on?" A woman called out as she stepped out of the building just in front of them.

"New arrivals."

"And you're holding the gun to some poor girls head?" The woman shook her head, a soft hand resting on his arm and she lowered them slowly and took the shotgun from his hands with ease. "Come," she said as she turned to walk back to the building she'd exited. "You all look positively exhausted and I'm sure you've traveled quite a long way. I'll put some soup on and you can tell us your tale of how you came to be here…"

Faith felt dizzy all of a sudden and she lurched, Buffy right there at her side, strong hands settling on her hips as she looked at her in concern and worry. Faith shook it off, the smile on her lips trying to play it off as exhaustion and the adrenaline finally slipping out of her system.

"Faith?" Buffy tried and she shook her head again. "Faith, what's going on with you?"

"Tired, B. So fucking tired."

"I know, me too."

Buffy slipped a hand into hers, both of them ignoring the blood that stained her skin and Faith let Buffy lead the way inside the building with the others. The sight she was greeted with was a surprise and the bottom floor of the building was filled with people sitting around, chattering quietly, chatter that came to a stop as soon as they were all inside the dimly lit room. Everything started to blur together and Faith could feel the room spinning. The last thing she saw was Buffy clinging to her, keeping her from hitting the ground as everything went black.

* * *

Faith groaned quietly as she felt the cool cloth over her forehead, pressed gently against it, over and over again. She blinked away the darkness that had clouded her vision and she couldn't help but smile when Buffy came into focus again.

"Good, I'm not dead."

"Not yet, but you will be," Buffy replied, her tone flat and void of emotion. "Why did you lie to me?"

"B, I—"

"You got bit, Faith."

"I know."

Buffy pulled the damp cloth away from her forehead as Faith moved to sit up from the pile of blankets she was laying on. She looked to her left arm where her shirt had been cut away, the bite wound cleaned and bandaged. She swallowed thickly as her eyes met Buffy in the dim light.

"You've been out for two days," Buffy said softly, her fingers reaching up to brush aside a few strands of Faith's hair away from her eyes. "I didn't think you were ever going to wake up."

Faith frowned as she reached to hold Buffy's face gently between her hands and she leaned forward, closing the gap between them and kissed her softly, feeling her tremble against her lips. The kiss doesn't last for very long and Faith sighed as Buffy pulled back first. This was what she was afraid of, the sudden shift in their relationship because she'd been bit. That was why she didn't want to tell Buffy because all she wanted was to spend her last days with the woman she'd fallen in love with, with the woman who had her whole heart, her whole soul in her hands.

"Two days," Faith whispered, frowning as Buffy's tears slid down her cheeks. "B, it's been two days."

"I know that."

"No, I should've been dead."

"Faith—"

"How the hell am I not dead? Nobody else has survived this long after being bit, B, you and I both know that so why the hell am I not dead right now?"

"Faith, keep your voice down," Buffy hissed at her. "Nobody else knows. Just me."

Faith sighed as she slumped back down against the bed of blankets. They were in a small room, maybe a closet at some point, and a sheet hung over where a door had once been. Her mind was swirling with thoughts she couldn't hold on to, the only thing she wanted to know was how was she still alive?

Faith moved over as Buffy laid down next to her, both of them just laying there and staring up at the ceiling, the backs of their hands brushing against one another's until Buffy slipped her hand into Faith's and intertwined their fingers with ease. She turned her head to the side, looking over Buffy's features in the dim light that just barely made it past the sheet hanging in the doorway. And just for a moment she thought back to that day two weeks ago, the day they holed up in the farmhouse and everything between them changed forever.

"You are so beautiful, Buffy," Faith whispered, watching the tears slide out of her eyes as she managed a small smile. "I've always thought you were so beautiful, right from the very moment I met you."

"Faith—"

"I love you," she whispered and Buffy turned to look at her then, a look of surprise in her teary eyes as she tightened her grip on Faith's hand. "I do. I love you, Buffy."

"I love you too," she whispered, her lower lip wavering as the words slipped past her lips.

Faith leaned in, kissing her softly, just wanting to kiss her, to seal that moment between them with an unspoken promise that she would always love her.

"You're not dying," Buffy trembled, parting from Faith's lips just to look into her eyes. "You are not dying on me, Faith. Not today."

"Not today," Faith echoed and she pulled Buffy on top of her, smiling at the feel of how good it felt to have her fully against her again. "Definitely not today."

Faith was kissing her again, soft and slow and deep. She wasn't sure just how much privacy the small space gave them or who was on the other side of that sheet, but she didn't care as she slipped her hands under Buffy's tight t-shirt, splaying her hands over soft, warm skin. Buffy's moan felt like a given sign to continue and she deepened the kiss, leaning up and into her as Buffy's thigh fell between her legs.

It felt like a switch was flipped inside of her as she rolled them over, grinding her thigh in between Buffy's legs hard. She breathed out heavily over Buffy's lips, needing more, wanting more. She wasted no time, kissing her hard in yearning as she slipped a hand between their bodies and deftly flicked the button of Buffy's jeans open. She wasted no time in taking what she wanted, sliding her hand inside tight jeans, her fingers spilling over hot, wet flesh. It took Buffy a moment before she mirrored Faith's desperate actions, both of them moaning as fingers sunk into one another hurriedly.

All she wanted was for them to be back at the farmhouse, naked and writhing against each other, tumbling over and over the edge until they just couldn't take it anymore. But they weren't and that place had been left behind hundreds of miles ago and they were here now, someplace safe.

Buffy came first, hard and fast, her hips jerking against Faith's hand as they kissed with hungry passion. Faith kept her fingers buried inside of her, her own orgasm building deep inside of her. And then she was falling and clinging to Buffy as her body twitched, her orgasm short but powerful and still rooted deep inside of her. She pulled back from Buffy's lips, her breaths coming out in small, hard bursts and they both smiled, a knowing smile, a sated smile as their hands unhurriedly slipped out of the tights confines of each others pants.

Faith wasn't sure how long they laid there, her head on Buffy's shoulder, her breath tickling over Buffy's neck as she watched her pulse throb in time to her racing heart, but she just took in the moment between them, just like she did with every moment she had with Buffy, a memory, forever etched into her heart and her soul.

"So, where are we exactly?" Faith asked, rolling off of her as Buffy just closed her eyes for a moment before she turned to look at her.

"They call it Safehaven," she said quietly. "And where we are right now? It's just a building and we are in a closet."

"I can see that."

Buffy let out a breathy laugh and she shook her head. "Jerry and his wife, they told us there aren't many people left. Everyone that is here, behind those walls, is all that's left. They are barely surviving here, Faith, barely but they haven't given up hope."

"How many are left?"

"About fifty including us," Buffy replied. "There's food, enough to last months. And clean water. Some people go out beyond the walls, trying to bring down the infected numbers, but they stopped doing that when they lost half of their people a month ago."

"That's heavy," Faith said and Buffy nodded. She turned to look up at the ceiling as she heard voices beyond the sheet, voices growing closer and louder. "You ever think we'll get to be alone again? Like truly alone without anyone coming to make sure we're still here and still alive?"

"I don't know, Faith."

"Damn."

"Tell you what," Buffy said with a smile as she turned on her side, her fingers dancing over Faith's stomach lightly. "The very next chance we get to be alone like we were that day at the farmhouse," she paused and leaned in to Faith's ear and whispered, "you can have me any way you want me."

Pleasure surged through her body at Buffy's words and now she was definitely going to make sure that she wasn't going to die, that she would fight off the infection she knew without a doubt was flowing through her veins, because she had something to live for, someone to live for and she wanted more than what they already had together.

"Hey," Willow said as she pulled back the sheet and looked down at them lying side by side, neither making a move to pull away from one another or even button their pants back up. "I uh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything, but everyone is gathering outside. Jerry and Lina called a emergency meeting and everyone needs to be there."

"Okay, Will, we'll be out in a minute," Buffy said as she slowly sat up, watching as Willow backed away and dropped the sheet. "Nobody else knows you were bit, Faith, and it's going to stay that way. I don't know how you're still alive either, but the fact is that you are. Now come on, let's go and find out what the hell is going on here."

"Okay."

They stood together, taking a moment just to straighten themselves out and before Buffy could lead the way out of their little closet, Faith pulled her in for one last kiss, one that left them both breathless in a matter of seconds. Faith grabbed on to Buffy's hand and smiled as their fingers intertwined and they walked out of the closet and with Buffy now in the lead, she led them over other beds, some cots, some just sheets and clothes piled on the floor and out the door on the other side of the large room.

The sun was shining and it felt warm against Faith's skin. She had to blink, the brightness hitting her suddenly, a start contrast to the dimness that she'd emerged from. They stood off to the side of the group that gathered in the street and Faith looked over all the unfamiliar faces until she spotted the others, standing together just as they always did and she tugged at Buffy's hand, leading them over to their friends, their family. Soft smiles were flashed at Faith and she didn't let go of Buffy's hand as the man, who just had pointed a shotgun at her face two days ago, moved to stand on top of a shoddy looking makeshift platform and raised his hands, the people all around them quieting down all at once.

Faith heard it, just faintly, the sound of a helicopter flying and coming closer. Buffy heard it too and they jut stared at one another before fixing their attention on the man that was about to speak. But as the helicopter grew closer, the sound louder, the people started to murmur in surprise, chattering loudly again as words of hope and being saved were floating through the air.

"People, please!" Jerry shouted and his wife placed her fingers between her lips and whistled loud enough to leave even Faith's ears ringing. "It's finally happened! We're finally going to be saved! This time it is not false hope, not a dream just out of reach. I got word an hour ago from the Army that they would be sending soldiers to retrieve us."

"The army?" Faith whispered and Buffy shrugged her shoulders.

"And where are they taking us?" A man shouted from the front of the crowd. "We're save here, why do they need to take us somewhere else?"

"Because," Jerry said, his voice still booming and echoing off the buildings all around them. "The end is near, a cure has been found and the infected that are still out there are being killed off. People from all over are no longer afraid, killing them off when they come upon them. We will work as a nation to rid our country of an epidemic that never should have been possible. We will take our country back and we will not lose any more people, not to them."

"A cure," Buffy smiled as she turned to Faith. "Someone found a cure."

"I heard, B."

"It feels like I'm dreaming," she whispered as people all around them were cheering and hugging and shouting out words of joy. "Is this real, Faith?"

"Let's hope so."

"Don't you die on me," Buffy whispered so only she could hear.

"I won't, B."

"If you do, I'll just kill you again."

"Of course you will," she chuckled, not feeling the dread she should've felt in that moment.

No, all she could feel was hope. A new kind of hope, the kind of hope she hadn't felt in a very long time because they were finally going to win. They were going to win and she was going to live.

* * *

Hours after they were picked up from beyond those walls that had kept all those people safe all throughout the epidemic that had gripped the nation, Faith found herself lying on a hard surface as military doctors poked and probed at her. As soon as the bite, although mostly healed at this point, was discovered once they had landed on the naval ship almost a twenty miles from shore, she was forced away from Buffy and ushered right down into the medic ward immediately.

Questions were asked by doctors wearing biohazard suits, their voices somewhat muffled from behind the masks they wore. She answered what she could and they left her there for a little while, monitoring her vital signs until they came back again, poking and probing at her with various medical instruments Faith had never seen in her life before.

"Tell me again," the male doctor said as the others left the room. "How long exactly has it been since you were bit?"

"Two days ago, like I said."

"And yet you show no signs of being infected."

"So, I'm not infected?"

"You are," he nodded. "We ran your blood work quickly and the virus is very much inside of you."

"So, cure me up then, doc," Faith said with ease. "What?"

"Who said there was a cure?"

"That guy who told us you were coming," Faith said quietly. "He said there was a cure."

Hope faded quickly as the doctor shook his head, frowning as he folding his hands in front of him. There was no cure and she was still alive, but she had the virus inside of her so why hadn't she turned into one of those things yet? She should've already been dead.

"Doc?"

"We know what you are," he said quietly, his voice still not too clear. "A slayer. We think that is why the virus hasn't killed you yet, why you show no signs of being infected aside from the virus mixed in your blood the way we've seen in so many others. I have a theory," he paused and he placed a rubber covered hand on her knee. "It's a risk and it has not been proven, but I know you are not the only slayer on this ship, but you are the only one who is infected."

"What are you saying?" Faith asked, her voice cracking as she desperately held off her tears. "You think you can what, take this virus out of me somehow?"

"It's a risk," he said again. "I need to know if you are willing to take a risk, Faith."

"What do I have to do?"

"A blood transfusion."

"That it? That's the risk?" Faith asked and she let out a dry laugh. "Why is that a risk, Doc?"

"Because we tested the other two and they do not match your blood type, but we know how powerful a slayer's blood is, we've seen it for ourselves once."

"You guys are Initiative—"

"No, we're not, but some of us were years ago. It is a risk because I'll need to use them both for the transfusion if we want to flush that virus out of your body completely and there's no telling how you will react to two different types of blood in your system. Your organs could shut down one by one, you could have a heart attack or a stroke."

"Or nothing could happen and I'll be fine?" Faith finished for him and he nodded his head slowly. "I'll take the risk, Doc, cos either way I'm pretty much dead already, right?"

"This is a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly."

"And it's not," Faith snapped, her patience growing thin with the man in the biohazard suit. "Do what you gotta do. I know the risks and I'm willing to take a chance. I'm not dead yet."

It seemed like it took forever for the doctor to leave, and even longer for Buffy to finally find her way down to the medic ward and into the sterile room she was in. Her heart was racing as she took in the sight of Buffy, her eyes red from crying and she slipped off the table and wrapped her arms around her tight.

"He said there was a cure," Buffy whispered as she buried her face into the side of Faith's head. "He said there was a cure and there's not."

"B—"

"I'm going to lose you," Buffy cried and Faith shook her head no. "I don't want to lose you, Faith."

"I'm not going anywhere, B," she said softly and she pulled back, taking Buffy's face in her hands and she wiped away at the tears that fell with her thumbs. "There might not be a cure, but there might be a way for me."

"What?"

"They didn't tell you, did they?" Faith asked and she shook her head no. "One of the doctors told me he had a theory but trying it is a risk, a big one. They know who we are, B."

"What theory does this doctor have?"

"Slayer blood is powerful, we all know that and there's three of us on this ship right now."

"Faith—"

"He wants to try a blood transfusion, but it's risky cos none of us have the same blood type. You and Kennedy don't either. I know it's a lot to ask you, either of you, but I'm willing to do whatever it takes just to get this virus out of me. It hasn't killed me yet and even they don't know why, but I have a feeling it's cos I'm a slayer and the virus is just…taking more time to kick in I think."

Before Buffy could say a word, Kennedy stormed in, dragging the same doctor who had came up with the theory in with her. Faith almost laughed at the determined look on Kennedy's face as she forced the doctor to look at her.

"Look, I'm in. Let's just do it now," Kennedy said and she turned back to Buffy. "Did she tell you?"

"Yes."

"Are you in?"

"I'm in."

"So, doc," Faith said as she looked at him, taking in how scared he looked to be manhandled by a woman half his size and twice as strong. "Let's do it."

"It'll take quite a few hours and a few sessions. I'll need some time to prepare. In the meantime, I don't want any of you to eat or drink anything and I want you two," he said as he pointed at Buffy and Kennedy, "to go down to room five and seven and I'll send a few doctors in to run a quick physical and ask you some further questions on top of the ones you had endured when you arrived on the ship."

Kennedy let him go and stormed out of the room, following his orders without hesitation. Buffy just turned to look at Faith again and she smiled a small smile as Faith leaned in to plant a soft, lingering kiss on her lips.

"It'll be okay, B," Faith whispered, kissing her again. "Everything will be okay. I'll see you soon."

"Okay."

"And after all this is over, you and me?"

Buffy chuckled as Faith wiggled her eyebrows as she let her eyes sweep over Buffy's body with a lustful leer. With one last kiss, Faith was alone in the room again and hope flooded through her heart, mind and soul all over again.

She was going to live.


	10. Epilogue

(_Six Months Later…_)

Faith stood on the balcony, inhaling in the fresh, crisp October air as the sun lingered high in the sky over Cleveland. She smiled as the sliding door opened behind her and warm hands slipped over her hips as warm, soft lips kissed over her neck softly.

"They're on their way," Buffy whispered as Faith turned in her arms. "I put the coffee on."

"Better make some tea too, for Giles."

"Yeah, the kettle is on too."

Faith smiled, leaning in to kiss her, loving how Buffy's whole body just melted into hers instantly. When she let her go, she just watched her walk back inside their apartment, picking up a few of their clothes off the living room floor and disappearing into the bedroom.

Six months, she could hardly believe the changes that had happened in just six months. The blood transfusion had worked despite the risks and the doubts the military doctors had had, and even though the three of them were weak for days, it didn't take them long to bounce back to their normal selves. They spent three weeks on that ship, the ship sailing for the east coast as news came in every day of the infected being killed off everywhere, not just by regular people, but by hundreds of slayers and armies from other nations, from all over the world. They docked in New York City on a rainy, cold day in April, and what they were greeted with was the sight of a city virtually untouched by the epidemic that had swept through the rest of the nation.

While there was no cure, Faith had been one of the lucky ones and she knew it, more than anyone, that fate had been on her side then and it still was. The country was struggling in the aftermath of the epidemic, but together they grew stronger, fighting back, taking back what was theirs, fixing the mess that was left behind, rebuilding towns and cities as quickly as they could. There was still a long way to go yet, but Cleveland had bounced back rather quickly, half the city occupied by survivors, the other half empty and still being rebuilt, the walls that surrounded the city, cutting it off from the rest of the state and the hordes of infected that were still out there, kept them safe. Protected.

Over two hundred slayers were there in Cleveland, because the Hellmouth was there and it was very much active, more so than it ever had been before. Half of them patrolled at night, the other half went beyond the walls, killing every infected they could before they pulled back, returning the next day and the days that followed. As the months passed, things changed and now they were there, living within the safety of those walls that would one day be taken down.

As for her and Buffy, it hadn't even been a discussion when they landed in Cleveland just two short months ago, they just found an apartment together and just like that, they were living together. Nobody else questioned it either, they didn't have to, not when Buffy had put her foot down and told them all that if they had a problem with Faith being her girlfriend then she would effectively cut them out of her life, just like that. Of course they didn't have a problem with them being together, but it had been weird for Faith at first and only because this was the first time she had found herself in a relationship she didn't want to run from, that all she wanted was to stay and to come home every night and fall asleep in Buffy's arms in their big, cosy bed.

It took Buffy just as long to talk about Dawn and when she had, Faith held her all night long, letting her cry against her endlessly. But ever since then, they didn't talk about Dawn, about Angel, or about all the things that they had to live through, or about how they managed to survive at all. Nobody talked about it, nobody wanted to remember, they only wanted to move on.

Faith slipped her hand into the front pocket of her jeans, her thoughts suddenly wavering back to the fact that the ring in her pocket brought all her thoughts right back down to one thing. Buffy. While she wasn't sure if she would actually propose or tell her that the ring was just a promise, she knew deep in her heart that what they had, it was only going to grow and they would grow stronger together, their love would grow and yeah, they would fight because that was what they did, what any normal couple did, but they would always come back to each other and weather whatever storm they had to face together. And the ring itself was simple, just a little diamond on a silver band. It was all she could afford, but she knew Buffy would love it all the same because it wasn't just some ring.

In that moment Faith knew what she was going to do with it. Her heart started to race as the butterflies took flight in her stomach and the nerves settled in. They hadn't been together for long, but everything just felt so right and it felt like they had been together forever at this point. She wondered if it was too soon, if Buffy would freak and be the one to run from this, from her. They'd been through so much in the last year and they had come such a long way.

Originally her plan had been to ask Buffy in front of their friends, their family, and that was why Faith had invited them over for coffee and tea. Buffy had asked her why that morning and she had played it off as just wanting to spend time with them, without dozens of junior slayers around. While it wasn't a lie, she did want to spend time with them, she was starting to have her doubts now that asking Buffy to marry her in front of them was a good idea.

"Faith?" Buffy called out and she stepped inside, shutting the sliding door behind her. "Faith, have you seen my necklace?"

Faith sighed and walked into the bedroom and stopped just inside the open doorway. She leaned up against the frame and watched as Buffy went through the dresser drawers frantically. "What necklace are ya looking for, babe?"

"Hers," she said quietly. "The one Dawnie gave me. I can't find it anywhere."

Faith was next to her in an instant and she took her hands in her own. "B, when was the last time you had it on?"

"Two days ago and I swear I put it—"

"Two days ago, when you came home from patrol and jumped me in the living room? You practically tore my clothes and your own off and had your naughty little way with me on the floor between the couch and the coffee table."

"Ugh," Buffy grunted as she pushed at Faith's shoulders and stormed out of the bedroom.

Faith followed her, grinning as she watched her crawl on the floor on her hands and knees between the couch and the coffee table, one hand sliding under the couch and feeling around desperately, determinedly. After a moment, Faith joined her in the search, checking between couch cushions and under the arm chair. She dropped to her knees and felt under the chair slowly and carefully until her fingers hit a cool silver chain.

With a smile, she pulled the necklace out, the dainty cross almost shining in the light that bathed in through the windows. Buffy groaned as she dropped her head and her shoulders shook, feeling as defeated as she looked and growing more upset by the second at her lost necklace, the only thing she had that once belonged to Dawn and slipped into one of her bags the day that she died.

"B?"

"I can't find it, Faith, god I—"

"Hey," Faith said as she knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her back. "I found it, it's okay," she smiled as she held it out to her, watching her eyes shine with happiness as she grabbed the necklace from Faith's fingers and flung her arms around her tightly. "It was under the chair."

"Thank you," she trembled as she pulled back and peppered feather light kisses over Faith's lips. "I don't know what I would do if I'd lost it for real."

"I don't know either, B, but it's not lost, not anymore."

"I know."

Faith watched as she fingered the broken clasp sadly and then she was laughing as her hazel eyes filled with tears again. Faith wasn't sure what was so funny and she cocked her head to the side, watching Buffy as she laughed and laughed before she threw her arms around her again.

And that's when she knew that this was the moment, the moment to ask her because despite the emotions that Buffy had gone through thinking that Dawn's necklace was lost forever, this was the moment and there was no telling when there'd be another one that felt so right.

"Buffy?" Faith asked softly as she placed her hands on Buffy's hips and gently eased her back so she could look at her fully. "Buffy, I love you."

"I know, I love you too."

"Can I just…" Faith sighed as she felt her fingers trembling as the nerves and her own emotions flooded through her all at once. "I love you and we've come so far that sometimes I feel like this is all some kind of a dream, a really fucking amazing dream and I never want to wake up if it is. I love what we have and hell, I even love what we had to go through to get where we are right now. I'd say I'd do it all over again, but not live through actual hell just to get the girl in the end."

"Faith, I—"

Faith reached into her pocket and curled a fist around the ring before pulling her hand out slowly. "I don't know what the future holds for either of us, but I want it to be together. I want a future with you just like this, maybe even better than this, I don't know, all I know is that I want to spend my life with you," she felt her voice cracking, her heart racing, her lips growing dry as she took in the sight of Buffy before her. "At first this was supposed to just be a promise," she continued as she opened up her hand and Buffy's eyes flicked down to the ring sitting in the middle of her palm. "But it's more than just a promise, isn't it?"

"Faith, are you—I mean we—Faith—"

"I've never been with anyone like you, Buffy. I've never even been in a relationship that I ran from at the first signs of things becoming serious and more committed than anything I've been through, but not with you. It's never felt like that with you. I love you and I don't even know when I fell in love with you, I just did and when I realized it myself, I knew I was never gonna let you go. I didn't know that we'd ever get a chance to get to where we are now, but everything is different now and the whole world is changing. I know I've changed and I know it's because of you."

"No," Buffy said softly, shaking her head. "You changed because of you."

"I used to think that being in a relationship was like standing on the edge of a cliff with no where to run as the tide started to rise, but it's not like that at all. I don't feel trapped with you, I feel safe. I've never had a place to call home, but here and with you, this is home. Wherever you are, wherever we are, I will always feel like I'm home because of you. God, B, our lives aren't perfect, far from perfect, but that doesn't matter because I'm with you."

Faith licked over her lips, feeling tears prick at her eyes as Buffy looked at her with so much love and adoration that it was almost too much, almost. She reached for Buffy's left hand, both of them shaking as Faith held the ring just over her ring finger, watching as Buffy started to breathe heavily, her tears flowing freely now as their eyes locked in an intense gaze.

"I was going to do it, you know with everyone else here, but then I started having doubts that maybe that wasn't the greatest idea cos you know me, I would've bailed on that idea before I could say anything, before I could…" She trailed off and laughed in spite of herself. "I don't know what made this moment feel like the right moment, it just did and I knew as soon as I handed you Dawnie's necklace that this was _the_ moment, you know?"

"Faith…"

"I think I'm hanging out with Willow too much cos here I am, babbling like a lovestruck fool and I haven't even asked you yet."

Everything grew quiet as Buffy moved closer to her, their lips only a hairsbreadth apart. Faith kissed her softly, smiling as Buffy kissed her right back just as soft. She wanted to keep kissing her, she wanted to ask her, she wanted to take her to bed and forget that they had company on their way over and would be there any minute now. Hell, screw the bed, she wanted to take her right where they were and make love for hours and hours on an end.

"Ask me now."

"Marry me," she whispered, her heart racing as Buffy just stared into her eyes. "Marry me, B."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yes, yes I'll marry you, Faith," Buffy laughed and they both held their breath as Faith slid the ring on her finger and the moment it was in place, Buffy was kissing her with everything she had.

It was kind of a ridiculous little moment too, because that's how the others found them, on their knees on the floor, kissing and laughing and crying happy tears together.

And then, when the others realized what was happening, Faith and Buffy were pulled up to their feet, four sets of arms wrapped around them both in an instant.

And it was perfect. An ending and a beginning all at once and she was happy and she was _alive_.

**THE END**


End file.
